


Corruption of the Corrupt

by SongbirdAli



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bookstore Owner Castiel (Supernatural), Butt Plugs, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Human Castiel, Hustler Kink, I hate tags, M/M, Masturbation, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Priest Castiel, Priest Kink, Smut, Snarky Ketch, Supernatural AU - Freeform, hustler dean, mutual grocery shopping, retired clergyman, sexy sandwiches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-07-17 14:42:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 56,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16097768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongbirdAli/pseuds/SongbirdAli
Summary: Dean has been turning tricks to take care of Sam since he was old enough to know how.  Sex is how he gets what he wants, how he gets what he needs.   It's how he maintains control in a life that's definitely out of control.  The small town Priest, named for one of Heaven's angels, is being put to the test dealing with Dean the confessor.  Can he maintain his purity?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Writer75 who is my main Beta Reader as well as Michi27 and angelwingsandhunterdreams for pinch hitting for a couple chapters when needed. This work would be a hot mess without you!

Dean has always taken care of Sam. Ever since his father took off on a hunting trip and didn't come back, it was his job to make sure they stayed together. After being picked up the second time for stealing because he had to find a way to feed the little jerk, he decided it was time to make money from the one thing he knew he did well.  Women didn't pay for it but men did and paid well if you could make them want it. Dean had been blessed with the kind of body that turned heads and a smile that brought most men to their knees. He knew his power and he was going to use it.

Turning tricks taught him a lot about people, some good and some bad but all of it useful when you were desperate and needed to get your way to survive. Sam never questioned where he was going but deep down he knew. None of that mattered to Dean though, he'd gotten Sammy through school and now he was in college doing things that he'd never thought possible. It was worth it....wasn't it? He only got roughed up a couple times and only caught feelings once.  He was used to being used so he might as well profit from it.

Sam had been gone for a couple months before Dean thought about trying to get out of the life. He'd moved to a small town where there wasn't much traffic for his kind of work. He picked up a job at the local repair shop working on cars for extra cash while he looked for something permanent. There was a run down hovel behind the shop that the owner was letting him live in until he got settled. The Catholic church down the main road offered free dinners on Sunday evenings so he'd been slipping in to eat and then slipping back out before the service began almost every week since he moved there. Truth be told he had it bad for the clergyman running the church. Father Cas, everyone called him, was lean and thick with blue eyes that pierced through Dean's gruff exterior. He always let the John's come to him, but this one was too good to pass up.

He'd grown accustom to noticing cues. A lingering gaze. A lick of the lips. A heavy swallow. He knew he was turning the holy one on, now he just needed to find a way to reel him in. It became a game every week to see if he could make the father blush. First a lingering look from across the dining hall, their gaze had held for just a bit too long before Father Cas bit his pious lip and looked away. Then a glancing touch while moving through the line, Dean got a little closer than most and let his fingers brush across the Father's black pants. The way those pants hugged his ass was anything but holy and Dean had to hurry to his seat to hide his swelling interest.

When the Priest finally made his way over to sit with Dean one Sunday, he found that he wasn't prepared to handle the heat that this rugged green eyed man was putting off. His hair was a mass of sexy ruffled light brown arrogance, his hands marked up from his work, and his muscled shoulders and arms stretching against the soft t shirts that he wore all made him an arresting view for someone who tried to keep their thoughts pure.  Tried being the operative word.

He noticed the way Dean nodded at him, half lidded and dripping sin. Licking his lips like he was stalking prey. Castiel had spent extra time in penance and prayer trying to atone for the thoughts he'd been having. Fucking him on top of the Altar was a favorite and one he was especially ashamed of.

"Hello, I'm Father Cas. I've seen you here several times but I have yet to introduce myself." His blue eyes tried to stay locked on the other's green ones but that smile was blinding.

"I'm Dean. Dean Winchester. I just moved here. I've really only been around for dinner. I mean, who's gonna pass up free food." Dean chuckled as he said it, leaning back to eye Cas. He thought about what he might say in the moment. Yes father....fuck me father.... Harder Cas... He bit at his lip as his cock jumped in his pants and drug his eyes up the padre's chest, over his neck, and back into his gaze. Cas felt that look in his toes and everywhere in between. There was no question he was being sized up. He almost leaped to his feet.

"Well, uh...it's nice to meet you Dean. Hope to see you again soon!" He scurried off like a scared church mouse. Dean licked his lips and watched him go, his eyes naturally falling to that rounded backside he liked so much. Something told him this wasn't going to be too difficult. Maybe he should seek penance and confess his multitude of dirty sins.

* * *

 

It had been a couple days since his brief chat with Father Cas and Dean was struggling to get the man out of his head.  He blamed it on being pent up since he wasn't getting nearly as much action as he used to.  He just couldn't scratch that itch as well as someone else can.  Out of sheer desperation and being horny as hell, he decided it was time to up the ante.  After a hot shower, a shave, and the easy slip of a heavy metal butt plug, he decided it was time to head to confession.

The church was deserted when Dean arrived, Father Cas seated in the front row with his head bowed in prayer.  Dean wondered what he was praying for.  Absolution? Death? Relief from the hard on he's had since Sunday?  Dean took a seat in the back pew and watched him drag his fingers through his hair in frustration.  Cas rocked in the pew and whispered, an unintelligible sound to Dean's ears.  One that made him close his eyes and think about those lips and how they would feel against his own or trailing down his chest.... wrapped around his cock.

"Hello Dean." The rumble in the priests voice caused more than just Dean's body to sit at attention. His eyes flew open as his hand retreated away from his zipper.  He locked eyes with Cas and smiled the way a wolf would smile at a sheep, with veiled malicious intent.

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned...I must confess." He stood and made his way to the aisle as Father Cas strolled up toward him.  He stopped just in front of Dean, so close he could feel his warm breath on his lips. Cas licked over his own as his heart pounded in his chest.  He needed to resist but no one was telling his body, it definitely wasn't interested in listening anyway. 

Dean's whisper broke into his thoughts. "Do you think you can listen to my many sins, Father?" Cas shuddered. This was going to be rough and unless he was mistaken, Dean's motivation was anything but forgiveness.

He stepped around him and headed for the confessional, calling out behind him. "Come Dean, this way please."  His heart beat in time with Dean's footsteps as he made his way to the closet masquerading as a confessional booth.  This was a small town, they didn't have a set up like this cathedrals in the bigger cities.  The only thing between the priest and his parishioner was a curtain with a small net square in the middle so eye contact could be made.  Dean closed the door and sat down opposite Cas, pulling the curtain between them.  He sat with knees spread wide and pushed the toes of his shoes just under the very edge of the curtain.  His green eyes seemed to glow in the low light and Cas couldn't bring himself to look away.  He wasn't sure if he even wanted to.  A cleansing breath and a shake of his head was all Cas could do to try to ready himself before he began.

"Father, I've never been to confession.  Do I just tell you my sins and you tell me yours?" Dean smirked at his joke but let it hang in the air and watched for a reaction.

"What sins have you to confess, my child?" Cas fought back the press of his cock against his zipper. Nibbling his lips and looking anywhere but at those eyes across from him.

"Well, I'll start at the beginning.  I've been sucking cock for money since I was a teenager.  I mean, I'm damn good at it but it's not a way to make a living.  You know?"  Dean ran a hand through his hair and roughed it up which did nothing to stop the visions in Cas' head or the throb in his pants.

"I'm sorry Dean, that's terrible." He tried to sound sympathetic but his words came out sticky and thick.  He badly needed a drink, or maybe a cold shower.

"Oh don't be sorry Father, I miss it.  Getting paid was nice but I loved it. The feeling of being in control, the throb against your tongue, someone's hand in your hair, pulling while they beg for release... It's good father, real good." His freckled hand slid down to cup his erection through his jeans, letting a quiet moan escape his lips as his muscles constricted around the warm metal in his ass. He held the priest's gaze and squeezed.

Cas let his hand press against his own swollen cock, begging his body to listen.  He needed to think of holy things, "whatever is holy, whatever is pure"... Dean's words broke into his thoughts.

"Have you ever had anyone's mouth on your cock, padre? Felt that warm, wet, _suck_? I bet not.  It's a shame too, there's nothing like it. I mean, except being fucked." Dean slowly unzipped his jeans as he watched Cas' eyes go wide, wild even.  His chest heaved with the effort and his mouth hung open in shock.  He was fighting a losing battle and Dean knew it.  It was time to put the nail in the coffin.  He pulled his cock out of his pants and began to stroke, letting his pleasure read all over his features.  His head hung back as he closed his eyes and continued to hit Cas with a barrage of sinful words.

"I had two men once.  One with my cock in his mouth and one filling me up from behind.  Fuck, that's good..."  His rough hand stroked over the tip and gathered the precum that had collected.  Bringing it to his lips, he licked over his fingers while holding that blue eyed gaze before returning his hand to the incessant throb that had been driving him nuts for weeks.  It was all Castiel could do to sit still, he let the zipper down on his trousers and popped his own cock out still trying to conceal it from the man making him insane.

"I have another confession Father. Wanna hear it?" Dean cocked an eyebrow, sure of the answer before he asked.  He was in control now and he knew it.

Cas' words came ragged and strained. "Yes, my son.  Tell me, please." His well manicured fingers played at the tip of his cock, teasing and coaxing the throb to continue.  He'd given up.  There was no fighting this.  He'd just stay in the confessional after Dean left and stroke until his body let him finish.  He needed it so badly...

"I want _you_ to fuck me.  I want _your_ cock inside me, _your_ lips on my cock making me moan.  Do you want to hear me moan, father?"  Dean's stroking picked up speed as his breathing grew rough. He moved to his feet to let Cas have full view of his need.  That was all the poor priest could take.  Ripping the curtain from it's hooks, he slid to the floor in front of Dean and took his cock into his mouth greedily like he'd been starving his whole life.  Dean gasped and combed his fingers into that Dark hair that he'd seen in all of his wet dreams.  Soft fingers lifted his muscled thigh and lay it over his dark coat. Cas' nose buried in the soft hairs of the devil's pelvis.

Caught up in the feeling of being swallowed, Dean began to roll his hips, fucking into the priest's mouth without thinking.  Castiel grabbed on to the fullness of Dean ass and growled against him, the sound rumbling through Dean's body as his hands shot out to the walls to steady himself.  The tongue stroking over his length and the feeling of a throat closing over the head was almost more than he could take.

"Fuck...You're so...." His cock thrust into the priests warm mouth over and over until he was shaking on his feet and begging to release, a position Dean wasn't used to being in.

"Fu...I'm gonna.." Cas nosed into his musky skin and swallowed, taking him all the way in until he stopped the involuntary thrusting of his orgasm.  His blue eyes pulled at the other man's green as he licked and sucked his cock clean.  Not as much the pious priest as a horny heathen.

"God...damn...Father.  You're so much dirtier than in my fantasies." There was fire in those blue eyes now, one that wouldn't be quenched. The desires that Cas had bottled up were being unleashed and there was no going back.  Dean thought he was being cute, that he was in control, but Cas was having none of his shit.  In one fluid motion he stood and spun Dean to slam into the back of the confessional.  He leaned forward close to Dean's ear as he reached around to release the button of his jeans and then shove them to the floor before whispering so only he could hear. 

"I'm going to fuck you until you beg me to cum again."  He kicked Dean's booted feet apart and wet his fingers in his well used mouth.  He was going to be polite and stretch his hole first but when he reached down he found the metal loop of the plug and decided he'd toy with him a bit.

"What's this?  We're you prepping?  You were that sure, you had me? So cocky."  Dean gasped and pushed his forehead into the wall as Cas pulled it out and let it drop to the floor.  The heavy thud echoed in his gut.  His cock was already back at attention and beginning to drip.   Before he could think, he could feel the slick tip of a thick cock pressing his opening.  Their mingled groans filled the air in the tiny room as Dean stretched around his girth.  That feeling of being full was something he lived for.  He could feel warm lips on his shoulder and then teeth as the holiest of kisses turned to hell fire.  

Cas pounded into Dean like he was chasing down his sanity.  Fingers digging into his hips to the point of bruising as he called out for mercy.  Mercy and forgiveness for this sin and the sins that were to come because this felt too damn good to ever stop.  His eyes closed against the guilt, shoving it away as his body was immersed in the pleasure burning through his loins.  Dean's body gripped tightly to his cock, stroking in just the way that made him crazy.  Dean was so loud, and so filthy.  Each word like a boost driving him closer to home, whether he was ready or not.

"Fuck me Father, give me that cock!"  Dean pounded on the wall with his fist as he wrapped his fingers around his own cock, stroking furiously to find his finish line. When he came, it strung out against the wall as his body contracted over and over against Cas' swollen cock.  It was more than he could bear.  He doubled over Dean's back and muffled his strangled cry on his shoulder blade as his hips jerked of their own volition.

"Jesus, Father.... " Dean gasped" That may have been the best I've ever had." He laughed against the arm holding him steady.  Castiel wasn't laughing.  He pulled out of Dean and quickly stuffed himself back into his pants.  The magnitude of what he'd just done hitting him like a freight train.

"Dean, I'm going to need you to leave.  Leave and for my sake, never come back." He turned and walked out of the confessional to the horrified expression of a woman sitting in the back row.  She watched her beloved priest walk toward the altar, tears streaming down his face, to beg his god for forgiveness.  When she turned back to see who else was involved in this tryst, Dean met her gaze with a smirk and a wink before he picked up his used butt plug and headed for the door.

He paused with his hand on the worn brass knob before yelling over his shoulder, "Hey Father, two hundred Hail Mary's and 150 Our Fathers about do it?".  Cas shrunk down to the floor as Dean laughed and popped the door open.

* * *

 

About a week later, Dean decided he needed to apologize but when he stopped at the church there was a sign on the door.

 

"Father Castiel has left for another Parsonage in Maine.  Closed until another Priest can be found."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger! Chapter 11 coming next Friday 3/29! I'm going to try for two chapters this week because I'll be on vacation the first week of April. No promises but I'll do my best. Thank you all for your kind words, you have no idea how much they've helped as I work through the longest fic I've ever written.
> 
> You're beautiful souls.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel glanced over at the black of his clergy shirt, it's white collar tucked neatly into the pocket. It was strange to imagine never wearing it again. To say he was sorry would be an exaggeration, rather, he felt free. Finally free. He'd hidden behind the safety of the church for decades trying to escape the desires of his heart. Desires his parents found to be an abomination and were unwilling to embrace. He'd not been able to embrace them either, until a few months ago. With a scrub through his hair, he pushed that memory away and grabbed roughly to hang the shirt in the back of his closet. A reminder that he would no longer hide from who he was, he just had to figure out what that meant.

His new apartment in Hampstead was sparse but he loved the charm of the old home it was nestled in. An old victorian home with dark wordwork and many paneled doors that left small gaps underneath them, signs of the carpet that used to exist. The brass doorknobs were worn and dented, just as he was. He settled in front of the bathroom mirror, leaning heavily on the sink as he stared at the lines on his face. He wasn't old but he certainly wasn't in his prime any longer. A rub of his rough cheek with an open palm highlighted the little bits of silver along his jaw. He turned to get a look at the weeks old tattoo on his shoulder blade, a small set of black angel wings. A reminder of the dark and brooding angel that had broken him free in a confessional so many months ago. Free of the shackles he'd bound himself with.

It had only been four months but it felt like an eternity. He felt irrevocably bound to this man who obviously wanted nothing more than to fulfill his priest kink fantasies and it was slowly but surely crushing him.  He'd stalked on all the usual places online trying to find anything about him but could find nothing, likely because he was one who didn't want to be found.  All he had to do is take a trip back to Leland Grove but driving back to Illinois now felt too much like returning to the scene of a crime.  To say he'd let those people down was an understatement.  Once the news broke about why he left, the calls and letters that followed him to Maryland were heartbreaking.  Everyone was praying for his soul because obviously he was going to burn in hell for desecrating the house of the lord, etc.  It still turned his stomach to remember.

Teeth brushed and showered, he crawled into bed stripped bare.  It was something he enjoyed now, something that he'd been forbidden to do for so many years.  The cold slide of the sheets awakened his senses and almost always roused his physical hunger.  Tonight was no different except that his heart seemed a little heavier than normal.  He'd told himself there would be no more wondering about Dean.  No more pining after a man who wasn't interested in him. No more nights spent stroking his cock imagining his fingers stroking along his own. No more.  He was going to be more open to finding someone and that meant putting himself out there.  He'd already come out to his friends and they'd all been supportive, mostly because they weren't part of the church scene.  Maybe he could allow himself to be set up with Charlie's friend if she asked again, which she no doubt would.  Maybe he would finally allow himself to be happy. 

For tonight, though, he would allow one last fantasy.  One last dark and misty remembrance of Dean's taut body pressed up against the walnut walls of the confessional. One last memory of the way his name sounded ground out between his teeth.  One last wish that it had been more.

* * *

 

Dean tossed a rusty wrench across the garage, hitting the tool bench with a clang. He winced as it echoed through the concrete cavern though it felt good to throw something.  He was always so pent up, shoulders and neck tight and unforgiving. It wasn't the work, he could fix cars in his sleep.  It wasn't being broke, he'd been broke all his life.  It was guilt and he knew it.  Wiping his hands on a rag, he settled back onto the creeper and slid under the ancient Oldsmobile he'd been working on. He could have been done an hour ago but he decided to do some maintenance for free to keep himself occupied and old lady Bennett liked to tip him for being "a nice boy", as she liked to call him.  She didn't know.  None of them knew.  Somehow when everything blew up, Father Cas was the only one who's name ended up in the paper.  It wasn't fair.  He growled out his frustration as he tightened a bolt on the oil pan.

When he was finished he cleaned up and drove her car over to her.  At seventy, she would only be driving a few more years and her eyesight was questionable as it was.  He plastered a smile he didn't feel onto his face to present her with her keys and made excuses when she offered to feed him.  He just needed to be alone tonight.  She was digging in her purse for some extra cash to give him when she mentioned it.

"Dean, honey, I heard that Father Novak has left the clergy.  Did you see the news in the paper?" Her furrowed brow spoke of the concern she had for the clergyman.  He supposed it was one of the reasons he liked her so much.  She took the disaster that befell Cas in stride and loved him anyway. Every time she mentioned him Dean felt another twinge of guilt and something he'd come to recognize as loneliness.  

"Nah, Mrs. Bennett, you know I don't read the paper.  What'd it say?" He tried not to look too terribly interested but he knew he was going to go buy a paper on his walk home.

"Just that Father Balthazar had said that he had moved to....Hampton? Hampstead? Hamp-something in Maryland and that we should all continue to pray.  I miss him so.  He was such a good man." She shook her head sadly as if she was mourning his death before pressing the cash into Dean's palm.

"Thank you Mrs. Bennett, you know you don't have to..."

"Ah hush now, Dean dear.  I know you need it and you do good work for me.  Come see me on Sunday and I'll cook your favorite pot roast.  Promise?" Her bright eyes were so hopeful, he couldn't tell her no.  He nodded his agreement, hugged her warmly and closed the door before she could say any more.  His emotions were so close to the surface he felt like he might crack.  The realization that Cas was no longer "Father Cas" hit him hard.  He'd changed a lot in the last couple months.  Something snapped in him when he found the note on the church doors saying that he'd run off the local clergy. Maybe not the exact words, but it was the truth and he knew it.

The two mile walk home gave him some time to think.  Luckily for him it took him right past the local convenience store so he could pick up a paper of his own.  There was Castiel's face, in the society section along with a dissertation from the new padre about the sin of homosexuality.  Dean grumbled under his breath at the hate that riled him.  He wasn't one to march in parades or wear rainbows everywhere but he had no stomach for someone coming after someone else for how they chose to live their lives.  The fact that they had plastered Cas' face onto the article like he was something to pity only made him more angry.  Exhaustion set in when he walked through the door, he'd stomped for at least a mile without thinking about it as he weighed whether or not he wanted to look for him.  He'd written out an apology several weeks ago but had no where to send it and no nerve to ask anyone.  Now he had a lead, a good one, really.  The question was, did he have the balls to look him up.

Ripping out the page of the paper he needed, he discarded the rest and folded it up so that only the picture was visible.  It was a black and white pic of his broad frame, a wide grin across his face as he played baseball with the local kids. Hair mussed with sweat as he runs even in his ridiculous - albeit hot as fuck- clergyman shirt and pants.  A flash of those same pants undone and sliding down firm thighs hit like a brick wall of buried memories and immediately had Dean reeling back onto the couch. He'd been sure to push memories of that day away and all it took was a glimpse of that face to bring everything flooding back.  He grabbed at the always present bottle of Evan Williams on the coffee table and knocked back a long swig. He needed something to get his head back on straight though his ass was anything but.

Half a bottle in and he found himself tearing away the parts of the paper around the picture until it would fit in his wallet.  He slid it alongside the bills that Mrs. Bennett had given him and tossed the worn leather onto the dresser by his bed.  This one room shack had been home for the last six months and he'd thought about finding a permanent place but he just couldn't pull the trigger.  There was always this feeling that something could happen and he'd be stuck in a lease.  What that "thing" could be, he had no idea, but being tied to anything made him uncomfortable.  He washed up in the small sink next to the toilet and stared at his reflection in the mirror.  The red tinge to his eyelids did nothing to belay the self-pity that was brewing.  Too much drinking, not enough taking care of himself was wasting him away.  Sam wanted him to come out to visit but he'd not been to Virginia yet.  His head swam at the thought of being close enough to drive to wherever Cas was and he found himself stumbling to the bed.  

He toyed with his phone just like every night, thinking about browsing for porn and gettin' one in for the night, but he couldn't stop thinking about those deep blue eyes being out there somewhere.  He popped open the search bar and googled, "cities in maryland".  A link popped up that had a list of all the cities, with nerves growing in the pit of his stomach he tapped the link and slid down the list to the H's.  There was only one option that was close, Hampstead.  He rolled back onto the bed, dropping the phone next to him. He knew it wouldn't take any work to find him now in a town of just over five thousand but could he do it.  Should he?

* * *

 

Castiel listened to the bell clang on the door as it swung open for the hundredth time today.  His nerves were frayed and he was tired. Working in a local bookstore was a dream, he loved it, but he was on edge. The worst feeling of foreboding had been following him since last night when a strange number popped up on his phone with a familiar area code.  He didn't want anything to do with that town or with the shame that waited for him there.  Whoever it was likely was going to lecture him and tell him they were praying for his poor sinful soul.  Shaking his head, he took a couple deep breaths to clear away the anxiety brewing and reminded himself that there was no reason to talk to any of them.

The smell of old worn pages and leather bindings in the back of the store always calmed him.  The back was where they kept their oldest books, locked away from curious fingers.  They were pricey and the owner really didn't price them to sell.  Castiel thought of it more as a display so he dusted it regularly as an excuse to let his fingers explore the pages.  It took him out of his head, away from loneliness and worry.  It wasn't working as well today as it usually did.  He locked up the glass door that secured the shelf and made his way back to the front of the store.   Stopping to shelve some books that were out of place, he bent down to pick them up before noticing a pair of Chucks stepping into view a couple shelves down.  He let his eyes roam up the black skinny jeans and t shirt that hugged a small but gently muscled frame until he met a pair of blue-green eyes. There was no denying how gorgeous the man before him was.  A smirk was the only indication as to whether or not he realized he'd been checked out.  Cas' cheeks flamed as he opened his mouth to speak and promptly dropped all three of the harlequin romance novels he'd just picked up.

"Into romance, are yah?" The Irish brogue that came out of that perfect mouth punched him right in the gut. He watched the biceps on Mr. Delicious ripple as his arms folded across his chest in amusement.  

"Who? Oh me? No.  I work here. I'm trying to tidy up a bit.  Can I help you find something?"  Cas cleared his throat and grabbed the almost forgotten books off the floor before shoving them on the shelf without so much as a look.  Nervous energy caused him to rock on his heels before shoving his hands in his pockets.  He resembled a bit of a nervous teenager.

"The name's Mick Davies.  And you are?" He held out his hand as Cas tried to make his body move forward to take it.

"Castiel Novak.  You can call me Cas, everyone does.  What can I do you for?" His mouth hung open on the freudian slip before slamming shut again, eyes wide in panic.  Mick laughed and winked at him sending a shiver down his spine.

"Depends on what you're doing tonight." A head full of dark hair, complete with sexy stubble cocked to the side and waited for an answer.  Cas wanted desperately to make his mouth work but he just stood there as panic crawled up from his toes. "Ah well, maybe I came on a bit strong.  Hell, maybe I misread your...signals." He produced a small paperback from his back pocket and motioned toward the register.  "How about you ring me up and I'll get out of your hair."  

Cas heart was pounding in his chest as he followed Mick to the register, trying desperately not to stare at his ass. That's when his mouth decided to work. "I...uh...I'm totally gay." He cursed his brain. What the fuck?  THAT'S what you went with?  Mick grinned wide and tried not to completely lose it.  

"Are you now?  That _is_ interesting." He fished in his pocket for his wallet before pulling out a ten.

"Sorry, I don't know why I said it like that.  Awkward is my middle name these days.  I just wanted to clarify that you didn't misread anything." He carded a hand through his hair nervously before making change and dropping the coins into the palm extended to him.  Long fingers without callouses.  The softness of his hands was disappointing.  Cas chastized himself for being so superficial and met the blue-green gaze that roved over his face.

"I'll probably be back soon.  I've definitely seen something I like." The words tossed over his shoulder as he made his way to the door. Cas hadn't even given him a receipt, he was so distracted. 

When the door clanged shut it woke him out of his shock and he yelled to no one in particular, "HAVE A NICE DAY!" before burying his heated face in his hands.  Maybe he wasn't ready for this.

* * *

 

Dean sat on his bed, back pressed up against the pillows as he thought about calling again.  He'd dialed Cas' number, found courtesy of the interwebs, every night for the past three nights but never left a message.  Surely he'd pick up eventually.  An apology was all he had to give.  That's it.  No expectations, no flowery words. He just needed to say he was sorry.  He chewed his lip as his thumb hovered over the number pad.  "Just do it already!" he growled to no one but himself.

Finally he found it within himself to dial.  Two short rings and suddenly a voice on the other end.  A voice that was decidedly less confident than the last time he'd heard it.

"Hello?" Dean's breath hitched at the sound.

"Uh..Hello.  Is this Castiel Novak?" He cursed himself for sounding so stiff.  He knew exactly who it was.

"This is he.  Who is this?" Something in the way the question was asked told Dean that he knew exactly who he was too.

"Hi, Cas, this is Dean Winchester.  I don't know if you remember me but.."

"Do you really think I could forget?" Dean wasn't prepared for the tinge of sadness in his voice. Invisible fingers began to constrict his chest but he powered through.

"I don't know, I thought maybe you would want to.  I thought maybe.." Cas' cut in before he could finish.

"You thought what? That you could just call and I'd come running?  One trainwreck is enough, Dean." The words tumbled out of Cas like he'd had them pent up for ages.  Dean's mouth hung open as he tried to take in the anger coming through the phone.

"No, Cas, wait.  I just wanted to apologize.  I don't want to ruin any more lives, I've done enough of that for a lifetime." Now it was Cas' turn to feel the sting of guilt.

"I'm sorry Dean, I don't know where that came from.  It's not like I didn't have as much to do with it as..."

"No, you didn't.  I stalked you like prey, Cas.  I knew what I was fucking doing." Cas' chuckle surprised him.

"Yeah, you did.  It's not like I didn't enjoy it though.  I knew what you were doing, I just couldn't resist it...I couldn't resist you." Something about being on a phone and not face to face was making Castiel bold. He was saying things he couldn't possibly say to anyone's face.  Dean bit back a growl at the memory of just how little he could resist.

"That, uh...that went both ways. I've never gone after anyone like that and won't again.  Too damn much destruction.  Anyway, I'm sorry. I really am." He cleared his throat hoping it would help him wrap this conversation up. The more he absorbed the sound of Cas breathing the more he wanted to track him down and do things to him.

"Don't be sorry Dean.  My whole life turned inside out but at least I'm finally being who I really am. You helped me more than you know."  There was a pause as Dean scrambled for the right response. He wasn't used to taking compliments and definitely didn't expect to get one in this conversation.

"Thanks Cas.", was all he could muster.

"Thank _you_ , Dean." Dean cut the call off, probably a bit short, but it felt like a natural end to things.  He had said his piece, Cas had said his.  It was over, now he could move on with his life.  So why did he suddenly want to drown himself in whiskey?

* * *

 

Cas had been completely unprepared for the sound of Dean's drawl on the other end of the line.  Just the sound of his deep rasp did things to him and ultimately that's where the anger had come from.  The shock and shame of having his cock press hard against the zipper of his jeans the moment he said hello was too much.  It was all too much.  He palmed over his ever tightening lap before deciding it was time to get ready for bed. 

He took a little longer to strip out of his clothes, letting his hands range over his body.  When he slid between the sheets, he tried to imagine Mick's lips at his neck, Mick's hands pressing into his thighs, Mick's cock rubbing against the length of his own, as he had so many nights before but it was pointless.  It was Dean's voice he heard.  Dean's rough fingers he wanted.  Dean's hot breath on his neck. In a matter of moments he'd kicked the sheets from the bed and milked every last drop out of his cock.  When he'd caught his breath, he stumbled to the bathroom to clean himself up and caught a glimpse of what looked like hope in his eyes.  A hope he wasn't sure he wanted there.

Grabbing at the sheets, he pulled them roughly over his naked body before curling up against the pillows. He wanted to call Dean back to tell him to never call again.  Didn't he?  Or is it that he wanted desperately to hear that voice again?  He wasn't sure which.  Tossing and turning, he couldn't get the wheels in his head to stop turning.  Eventually he drifted off from pure exhaustion his whole body cramped tight into the fetal position, right about the same time the lights finally went out in a tiny shack a few states over.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel finally agrees to let Charlie set him up. Despite the fact that he just can't focus on anything but those piercing blue eyes that live in his mind, Dean finally takes Mrs. Bennett up on her offer of dinner, but she's brought company. Will these two ever get it together?
> 
> Special Thank You to Writer75 and AngelWingsandHunterDreams for edits and feedback. I appreciate you both, so much.

Cas had been on the phone with Charlie for an hour already arguing about letting her fix him up with one of her "many available gay dudes". She was like a dog with a bone about getting him paired up with someone and it was making him nuts. His fingers scratched at the week old beard he'd been growing, before mindlessly smoothing it with an open palm.

 "Charlie, look, I just don't know. Some guy hit on me at the bookstore the other day and it was the most awkward encounter. I acted like such an idiot that I still panic when I hear the bells chime at work. A blind date sounds like a terrible idea." He was grasping at anything really that would get her to let it go, but he was unsuccessful.

 "Castiel Novak, you're still pining after that hot piece of ass you defiled, aren't you?" The irritation in her voice was clear and Cas cringed at her intuition. She had him.

 "I'm pretty sure he was already defiled, Char, and don't call him a piece of ass. There's always a story behind that kind of a struggle and we don't know what was going on to push him down that road." he said quietly.

 "Sounds like a priest kink to me." Cas groaned at her words. He knew she was right but hearing Dean's voice last week was making it even harder to let go of what never would be.

 "Look, just introduce me to your friends. I can't possibly go on a blind date without having a panic attack, but I can have dinner with you and your...eligible bachelors." He cringed as he spoke and Charlie squealed.

 "OH CAS, You're not going to be sorry . I promise. Let me make a phone call and then I know EXACTLY who I'll introduce you to.You have hobbies in common and if I was straight, I'd hit it. " She laughed at her own joke as Cas' heart swelled a bit. They'd become friends so quickly but he'd needed her special brand of relaxed exuberance. He loved his red headed energizer bunny.

 "Ok, ok, but if this doesn't work you have to leave me be for a while. Deal?" She squealed in response and despite himself, Cas had to chuckle at the little happy noises she was making. "Ok Char, I've got to go. The store isn't going to open itself." He reminded her that he loved her and she did the same before dropping the call.

 Flopping onto the couch, he rubbed his hands over his face.  "What the hell am I doing?" he spoke the words into the air and his phone went off as if answering. Charlie had already checked in with "the hottest hot to ever hot" whomever that was. He thought for just a beat about meeting tonight, she was obviously anxious to get them together. Reluctantly he responded, "Sure. Meet you at the Thai place on the corner at 7 after I close up." when he hit send, his stomach flopped over. This could either go really well or really not well and right now, he didn't care. He just didn't want to make a fool out of himself.

 Stopping in front of the full-length mirror on the back of the front door, he gave himself one last look. It'd taken him a while to figure out his own personal style since he actually had choices but he'd finally gotten there. His dark hair was messy but clean, scruffy beard, dark t-shirt and jeans that hugged but didn't look like they were made for an emo teenager, his doc martens were a throw back though. Decades old, he'd always kept them in the back of his closet at the parsonage but never thought he'd wear them again. They were worn and creased and gave him a sense of who he used to be. Grabbing a thin grey cardigan off the coat rack, he threw it on and headed out the door, making a mental note to patch the elbow before that tiny hole got any bigger.

* * *

 

Dean couldn't sleep. He hadn't slept for what seemed like forever, but now that he'd heard the scratch of Cas' voice again it was so much worse.  All day long he could hear his name enveloped in the lush roughness of Cas’ voice in his head, threatening to make him insane. He had to lock his phone in his car to keep from checking it every five minutes even though he had absolutely no reason to think he'd call.  Now here he was dabbing blood off his forehead from where he just cracked it on Mrs. Bennett's hood and there wasn't even anything wrong with her radiator! The poor thing was just lonely and probably didn't want him to forget he was supposed to come for dinner.

 He slammed the hood and tossed his tools back into the tool box before washing up.  He didn't want to drive her car over there filthy and if he was going to have to stay for dinner he should at least attempt to look presentable. A little soap and water and he almost looked clean.  His red eyes and mussed hair gave him a look of a junkie. He was hopeful that she wouldn't mention it but she did seem to always know when something was wrong and just letting it pass wasn't her style.  When he pulled into the driveway, he checked his hair again in the mirror and fixed what he could before ringing the doorbell. The leggy brunette that answered the door wasn't what he was expecting and it seemed that his jaw had forgotten how to work.  She smiled and waited for him to get it together, far more gracious than he would have been in a similar position.

 "You're not..." The words were pointless, he was only stating the obvious.

 "Nope, she's my grandmother. I'm Andrea, you must be Dean." she held out her hand to shake his but gave his stained hand a second glance before accepting it.

 "Guilty.  Sorry, the grease stains are hard to get off without some grit and I didn't have time for more than soap and water." He shrugged as he spoke.  He didn't feel like trying to impress anyone. If she was too good for his company, he could leave. No big deal.

 "No, no.  That's not a problem.  My dad's hands looked just like yours. He was a mechanic too.  Come on in." She stepped away from the doorway and motioned for him to follow, a soft flip of her hair as she walked.  

Dean let his eyes rove over her body as she moved and then chastised himself for behaving like a neanderthal.  Ever since the debacle with Cas, he'd been trying to walk the straight and narrow. Be a better man or whatever.  The curves on this girl were giving him a run for his money.

 "Oh Dean, Dear, come sit down." Mrs. Bennett grinned like the cat that got the cream.  He knew what she was up to but she didn't know enough about him to know better. He definitely wasn't the type of guy she would want with her granddaughter if she knew what he'd done.

 "Thanks Mrs. Bennett" He took the seat at the head of the table and felt his stomach rumble.  This wasn't the first time she'd made him pot roast and the last time he'd been so crazy about it he'd eaten more than half of it and she'd sent the rest home with him.  Potatoes and Carrots were piled high in a bowl on the table and a mountain of rolls was stacked next to his elbow. When Andrea made it into the room with a pitcher of iced tea, she laughed at his wide eyed expression.

 "You look like you might eat the table too..." she laughed.  Her wide smile revealing dimples and beautiful rosy cheeks.

 He almost didn't hear her as he piled potatoes onto his plate, leaving the carrots in the bowl. He took a big bite of roll before turning to look at her with puffed out cheeks like a child who'd just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  "Oh, me? I'm starving. I had a pb&j at lunch but that's really it."

 She laid her napkin on her lap as she sat down next to him and poured some tea over the ice in their glasses.  The fact that her sly grandmother was still in the kitchen didn't miss him.

 "I think she's planning to set us up." Her smirk almost had him choking on his roll. A chuckle escaped her when he grabbed for his tea in an effort to force the roll down.  His panic was nothing if not cute and she had to admit he was ruggedly handsome. Right on cue, Mrs. Bennett made her way out of the kitchen with a steaming plate of Pot Roast.  Dean took it from her as she rounded the table and positioned it in the middle between the three of them before taking an obscenely large chunk. Her wrinkled cheeks drew wide as she smiled, she got so much joy from feeding him a decent meal.  Now she just wanted to make him happy as well.

 "Andrea here is a publisher.  She's in town from Chicago for a week but I thought you two might have some things in common.  Her father was a mechanic, I'm not sure if she told you." Her eyes were so hopeful as she lit on Dean's.  He didn't want to disappoint her and Andrea was...well...gorgeous. The younger woman didn't waste any time cutting into the conversation to steer her grandmother in a more appropriate direction.

 "Grandma, we'd need more in common than that.  Can we just eat without you playing matchmaker?" Dean sat quietly and shoveled the delicious food into his mouth.  He figured if he was always chewing it would give him time to think. Andrea wasn't going to allow that. "Grandma likes to try to set me up with every young man she meets.  I think she just wants me to move home." She smiled through all of this as Mrs. Bennett shook her head.

 "Andrea, you're going to scare him.  It's nothing nearly that serious, I just figured you'd like to spend time with someone other than an old woman when you come to town."  That sparkle in her eye wasn't lost on Dean, she was insinuating…

 "She thinks we should hook up." Andrea's dark eyes cut to his green ones as she spoke, a soft smile on her full lips.  Dean choked. Literally choked. He set down his water and stood up to try to dislodge the roll that was stuck in his throat.  The old woman's eyes grew wide as Andrea's arms went around his middle and jerked up in three quick pulls. Dinner roll shot across the table as he collapsed into the chair, gasping for air.  She patted him on the back gently before taking her seat again. Everyone was stunned into silence for a moment before Mrs. Bennett started to chuckle to herself. Dean leaned onto his elbows and covered his red face before erupting into a fit of laughter.  The ridiculousness of this whole situation had them all laughing and chatting for the rest of the meal. Once everyone had eaten their fill, Andrea and Dean began clearing the table.

 Mrs. Bennett slipped into the kitchen while the younger two were scraping plates and washing glasses.  "I'm off to bed, it's late for an old lady." She smiled that smile that said she had no intention of going to bed.  Dean lifted an eyebrow in question while Andrea spun to face her.

 "Oh really?  Since when do you hit the sack at 6pm? You're going to send Dean to the hospital if you keep this up." She smirked at Dean who was throwing a glare in her direction.

 "HA. HA. HA. I think I'm ok now that I'm not cramming a dinner roll down my throat.  You rest Mrs. Bennett, we'll get this cleaned up." Dean caught the way Andrea's tongue slipped over her bottom lip before she turned back to the sink.  Mrs. Bennet hugged him tightly, or tried to rather. She was so tiny she only came up to his chest. He swallowed the lump in his throat before hugging her back just as tight. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been hugged. The feeling was completely foreign and caused his eyes to burn with unshed tears.  She made her way out of the kitchen and he went back to scraping until he felt Andrea's presence behind him.

 "Dean..." Her warm palm was on his back, this wasn't a casual touch.  He'd felt a touch like this a million times before. He turned to face her but her hand only slid around his torso to rest in the center of his chest.  There was no good way to back out of her touch, his back was against a literal wall.

 "Andrea look, you're just so gorgeous and under different circumstances..."  She cut him off with her lips. Full and pressed gently to his own. A groan curled up from his chest as she stepped back away from him, eyes never leaving his.

 "I'm not looking for anything serious, just sex. My job is stressful and sucks up most of my free time but when I'm here I can't work and tension seems to build.  It would be nice to..." she licked those damn lips again, "blow off some steam."

 He squirmed where he stood, empty plate in one hand, butter knife in the other. "You're not making this easy on me, are you..." he said it more to himself than her but she huffed as he dropped the plate and knife on the counter before wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close enough to feel the way his cock was straining against his jeans.

 "Look, Andrea, there's something you need to know before we do this."  Her hands traveled down his back and into the back pockets of his soft, worn, jeans before she tipped her chin telling him to go on.  "I was a hooker for several years. Mostly serving men, but I'm bisexual. I'm clean, I just did a full panel a couple months ago because I wasn't going to do this kind of thing again but I'm pent up and it's beginning to get to me." His eyes searched the ceiling in frustration, trying not to think about why he was so pent up."If we do this, there's no kissing.  I can give you just about anything you're looking for but it's a transaction, not a relationship. Does that work for you?"

 He expected her to recoil, to slap him, something.  He'd been cold, and unfeeling which is not usually a winning combo with women.

 "Hey..." laying a finger along his scruffed jaw, she pulled his eyes back to her own.  "No judgement, right?"

 He nodded thoughtfully, “I’m good if you are.”

 They finished up the kitchen in silence but it wasn't tense, just expectant.  Little touches as they passed each other, a finger sliding along her lower back as he walked by with a glass to be washed.  A slap to his backside as she washed the counter tops. It was a tease but light and low on expectation.

 When they were finally finished, the two of them snuck out the kitchen door and into Mrs. Bennett’s car. Before Dean could get the it started, Andrea had already slid a hand over his thigh, close but not quite close enough to where he wanted.  The growl that rattled up from his depths had her brown eyes widening and her grip tightening on his thigh.

 It felt like it had only been a couple of minutes and they were pulling up in front of his tiny living quarters and all of a sudden he was feeling a lot less confident.  Clearing his throat, he shot her an apologetic look. "Look, it isn't much but it's home for me. We don't have to stay here.” Dean popped open the car door and jogged around the car to open her door too.  Might as well make an attempt at chivalry.

 “Dean, your place is yours. You’ll not get any judgement from me.”  Andrea pushed open the front door and couldn't help but giggle at the mess.  “Except that maybe you need some organizational help.” She shot him a withering look quickly followed by a reassuring wink.

 He couldn't help but grin at her.  They shared a sarcastic sensibility and he found it comfortable. He began shuffling papers and tossing trash in the can as she roamed through the living area, finally stopping to sit on the edge of his bed.  Her eyes took in the rough walls and linoleum floor. Obviously this had been someone's shed at some point but she didn't care. How he lived was his business. Curiosity got the better of her though, when she noticed the newspaper photograph on the tiny table by the bed.

 "Who's this?" she asked, holding the worn picture of Castiel up with a knowing look.

Dean stopped and stood a bit straighter as he thought about how to answer.  Oh, he's just some guy, wouldn't work given the circumstances but who was he to him, really?

 "That's uh, that's Castiel. He used to be the priest at that church down the street." He bent and got back to work before she could pin him with that look again.  

 "You usually keep photos of priests on your bedside table?" She grinned as she spoke, knowing she had him pinned.  It was fun to watch him squirm.

"I have a bit of a priest kink.  Something about those collars...or maybe just that one." He was hiding something. Picking up on the shift in his mood, she put the picture down and walked up behind him.  Her hands roved over his back as her hips pressed into his backside.

 "Who you pine after is your business, I just like to watch you squirm a bit.”  She drug her nails down his back as she spoke, the press of her hips sending his mind back to a dark confessional.  The throb between his legs was all he needed to spur him into action. He spun, grabbed her round ass and hauled her up into his arms before dropping her only a tiny bit harder than necessary onto the bed.

 "I don't _pine_ . I do fuck, however, very well. Is that what you want?" The intensity of his gaze burned through her reservations, almost instantly submitting to his control. The tiniest wide eyed nod was all he needed before sliding the hem of the ridiculously flirty dress she'd had on up her thighs.  He'd always been a fan of thick thighs, the sight of hers brought his mind back to Cas' thighs and the way they stretched the fabric of his pants. He pushed the memory away and concentrated on the softness of her skin, the smell of her desire, the way she bit her lip in anticipation of _his_ touch.  He was back in control of this situation and it fueled the burn that had been building for months.  The backs of his fingers drug up her thighs toward her hips. The panties she had on were pointless.  Obviously she'd been planning this attack all through dinner. With both hands he grabbed onto the side of the thin black lace and pulled before they gave way.  The whimper that puffed from her lips was incredibly satisfying. He showed his appreciation with a teasing finger trailing whisper soft down the slit of her wet heat through the thin fabric.

 "Fuck, Dean.  Destroy them." The words came hard and fast, almost begging, as her hands moved over her breasts, still covered.  Obviously she wanted to be manhandled and he was more than willing to comply. He pulled apart the other side with ease before tossing them to the floor.  Slowly he unbuckled his belt, his eyes burning into hers. When her hand began to move to touch herself, he shook his head.

"No, you don't touch what's mine.  I'll decide when and if you cum, do you understand?" her response was a half lidded whisper as her hips rolled. He slid the belt from it's loops and tossed it to the floor, it's buckle issuing a loud crack as it hit the floor.  His rough fingers unzipping his pants was just as sexy. His abs rippled slightly as he pushed them to the floor. The black boxer briefs clung to his thickness as his hand traveled over his cock trapped behind the fabric. He put on a show, rolling his head back and groaning, he was back in the working headspace.  Wanting to make the customer happy, the wetter the better.

 "Please..." her whimper pushed him into action.  Finally stripping himself bare, he grabbed her by her thighs and yanked her to the end of the bed.  Stroking his throbbing cock between her lips over her clit once, twice, three times before pressing gently into her.  After a couple thrusts he couldn't hear her over the memory shoving into his head. Cas' breath on his neck, his fingers on his hip.  His thrusts picked up speed, he was pounding into her the way Cas had pounded into him. Years of frustration coming through in one incredible fuck.  

 Her cries finally pulled him out of it, she was clenching over and over again around his thickness as he stroked mindlessly along her swollen nub, another thrust and he'd be coming too.  Pulling out after one last thrust, he shot out streaks of white onto her smooth slit, avoiding her dress out of sheer politeness. She panted through her own release and eventually smiled up at him but that smile quickly faded when she took in the pained look on his face.  "Dean?" Awareness moved across his face as he shook his head to clear away what was plaguing him.

 "Hey, sorry, my mind wandered a bit.  Let me grab a clean washcloth to clean you up.  One sec." She watched him move around letting the water warm before wetting the cloth and cleaning himself up so he could pull up his boxer briefs.  He dampened another cloth and moved back toward the bed to gently clean off his mess before it dried on her. He was quiet while he stroked along her skin, his brow furrowed.  Her chuckle surprised him.

 "Dean, what are you thinking about?  I feel like I just robbed you and it's putting a damper on some otherwise smoking hot sex."  She rolled to her side and propped up her head on a bent arm before patting the bed next to her.  Rolling his eyes just a bit, he flopped down onto his chest next to her and lay his forehead down on crossed forearms.  Her hand rubbing along his back didn't feel intimate so much as friendly.

  "Ok, maybe I am pining but christ, I hate that word." He turned his head away from her as embarrassment burned up his neck and across his cheeks.

 "Tell me about him.  I mean, I know _who_ he is but why him?"  There was obviously quite a bit of pain going on here and she couldn't help but feel like he needed to get it out.

 Dean rolled onto his back, tucking his forearms up under his head.  He couldn't seem to look at her so he picked a spot on the ceiling and took a deep breath. "Apart from just the physical attraction, he's just...good. He's a good human, Andy." She smiled at the nickname and coaxed for him to continue.

 "I've never had that in my life.  Everyone I knew wanted something from me.  Nothing came without a price. When I saw him taking care of everyone around him, I had this sick urge to destroy him.  I don't know where it came from, jealousy maybe or maybe because sex is the only thing I know besides how to fix a damn car.  Here was this fucking hot, genuinely good human and I needed to have him. To unravel him. I'm a horrible person."

 He sat up quickly and tugged on his shirt and pants.  After letting all of that tumble out he felt unnaturally exposed.  Andrea watched him dress, let him work through what he needed to, before standing to follow him toward the couch.

 "Dean, you've got a lot of demons in your past but that doesn't have to be who you are now.  Look at how sweet you are with my grandmother. She doesn't allow just anyone to bone her granddaughter." He shot her a smirk for that one. "Seriously though, she sees what's inside you.  You're only looking at a tally of deeds and maybe it's time to burn that count."

 She sat down next to him with her knee pulled up under her and an elbow on the back of the old, worn couch. His head lay tilted up at the ceiling but his hand stroked against her knee gently as if comforting himself.

 "Maybe you're right.  The prostitution I can push away.  I'm legit now, and I've got a good job, but what I did to him - I don't know if I can let that go." He chewed his lip to stop a tear that wanted to fall. She let her fingers card softly through his hair and waited for him to continue. "He left town, just packed up and left.  There’s a chunk of this town that judges him as if he's already in hell. I'd give anything to get that day back. Mostly."

 "Mostly?  What does that mean?" Her brows drew together in confusion.

 "I don't want to forget what it was like to be with him.  I'm sure he was just taking out years of pent up frustration on my body but it was intense. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop wanting more of him.  More _from_ him.  The feel of his hand burning into my chest, his breath on my ear." He stopped abruptly and looked at her.  A sadness lived in his eyes that unsettled her but she didn't move. "Andy, I think you should probably go."  

 "Are you sure you want to be alone?" This wasn't dismissal, this was his pain on display and he obviously wanted to hide.

 "I'm sure. I'm sorry.  I know this isn't what you had in mind." His fingers scratched through his hair in frustration as she picked up her purse and keys.  She laid a hand gently on his cheek and bobbed and weaved until she caught his eye.

 "Dean, this far exceeded expectations.  You are amazing in bed and a new friend is always a plus." She pulled out a business card with her cell number on it. "You can call me just to chat, any time, to chat or...blow off some steam.  I’ve got a fabulous ear and some other... _skills_ you haven’t seen yet." Her thumb stroked along his cheekbone as he smiled, nodded, and palmed her card.  

 Once she pulled away he closed the door and collapsed into the bed.  Andy was right, he needed to let some of this go but his guilt let him hold on to the memory of Cas' touch.  His smell. The fire in those blue eyes. His fist punched down onto the bed, frustration welling behind closed lids. Out of pure desperation for contact of any kind, he pulled his phone out of his back pocket and began typing.

\- "Hey, it's Dean.  Just wondering how you're doing?"

\- "You don't have to respond if you don't want to, I just thought I'd make an attempt.  No pressure."

 "OH MY GOD Shut up Dean!" he shouted in embarrassment before tossing his phone onto the table next to him and burying his head under the pillows.

* * *

 

Castiel's phone vibrated in his pocket once, then twice. Pulling it out he gave it a cursory glance before shoving it a little too quickly back into his pocket.  A look must have crossed his face because Mick stopped talking and fixed his gorgeous teal eyes on Cas. "Everything ok? That was quite a look."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGER! Ok, not really, but I hope you enjoyed this little FWB situation. I'm hopeful that it didn't turn any of you off, anyway. Please let me know what you think in the comments below and I'll keep working on the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas' date with Mick ends well, but can he stop thinking of Dean? Should he respond to his texts? 
> 
> I'm terrible at summaries...

Castiel stared at the television but he wasn't paying any attention. He was also keenly aware of the heat coming off of Mick. All too aware of the way he smelled, the sound of his breath leaving his chest, and the way he'd looked when he talked Cas into inviting him upstairs for "drinks". Cas didn't drink so "drinks" became a can of coke and some microwave popcorn in front of an old 27" television with a bad picture. What on earth was he doing?

 "Cas, are you alright? You're so stiff, I'd think you were expecting me to attack or something. I'm not gonna jump you, mate." He chuckled as he spoke but Cas felt the distance between them widen. "Talk to me, Mr. Novak. What are you scared of?" Cas' turned to meet those pale blue eyes that had first attracted him in the bookstore.  If he'd known Charlie was setting him up with this sexy Irishman he would have definitely chickened out. The smile on Mick's lips was warm and teasing, Cas had an urgent need to touch those lips. Shaking his head, Cas turned and pulled a leg up under him so he was facing Mick.

"I'm not scared really, just clueless. I mean, I have no idea what you're expecting and even less experience so maybe I'm just worried about doing something wrong." sentence punctuated with a shrug before he dropped his eyes to inspect a string in the seam of a couch cushion. Well played Novak, now you sound like an inexperienced man-child.

 Mick rolled his eyes and brushed his fingers through Cas' unruly hair before tilting his chin back up to look him in the eye. "Cas, we can take this as slow as you want. I thought I picked up on mutual attraction but I've been wrong before. If you want me to go, you only have to say it. I'll not blame you." Cas shook his head and stopped chewing his lip. His sweating palms rubbed along his thighs before he leaned closer to that unending icy blue, framed in the darkest lashes he'd ever seen. Mick drug a thumb along the scruff of Cas' jaw before leaning in. Cas held his breath as Mick growled low before brushing their noses together,"I want to kiss you. Badly. I also want to be sure, you want it too."

Heart pounding, Cas slipped his fingers behind Mick's neck and pulled him in before softly brushing their lips together. A first kiss should be memorable and this kiss was a bit bumpy, but Mick rolled with it, nipping at Castiel's bottom lip playfully before sucking it gently between his own lips. When they pulled apart Cas' eyes were blown wide, his fingers stroking gently along his bottom lip. Mick stroked his cheek before giving him one more gentle peck.  A parting kiss, Castiel knew.

 Mick stood and pulled Cas up by the hand before pulling him in close, wrapping his arms around him tenderly. He kissed along his cheekbone and then in that irish brogue that always broke Castiel out in a sweat, he gutted him.  "Never been kissed, eh gorgeous one?"

 Castiel pulled away, brow furrowed in confusion, arms crossing defensively over his tummy. "How did you know? Did Charlie tell you?" He felt silly, if not juvenile.  How many men his age had never been kissed? Mick pulled him back in and reassured him with little kisses along his jaw as he stroked up and down his back.

 "Cas, I can tell.  You were so tense and let's just say it had beginner written all over it.  That's not to say I wouldn't _love_ to teach you everything I know.." His lips brushed softly along Cas' neck before he stepped back to look at him. Cas' eyes half lidded, lips kissed red and cheeks even redder. This was enough for one night.  "Ok, gorgeous, I'm going to go."

Castiel went cold. "You're leaving so soon?" He sounded panicked in his own ears and it embarrassed him.  He cleared his throat awkwardly before moving toward the door.

Mick smiled to himself before pulling on his jacket and grabbing his keys.  He paused as he reached the door, tucking a soft curl of dark hair behind Cas' ear, and kissed his cheek.

"Give me a call, ok?" Cas nodded before opening the door.  He tried not to stare at Mick's perfect backside as he left but he failed.  He was human, after all.

 Cas collapsed onto the couch and turned off the TV.  He should go to bed but he kept thinking about the way Mick's lips felt on his own, their incredible softness, the feeling of his warm breath.  He wondered if Dean's lips would feel the same, would it be so gentle? He couldn't imagine anything about Dean being gentle. Groaning in frustration, he tossed a throw pillow across the room.  WHY was he thinking about DEAN? Leaning back against the couch, he went over the list in his head of reasons he should avoid Dean. Not the least of which was that he really wasn't interested in anything but sex, that much was obvious, but if that was true why had he sent those messages earlier?  

Castiel pulled his phone out of his pocket and stared at the messages from Dean for probably the tenth time before finally answering.  

Hello Dean

It's nice to hear from you.

I'd like to chat if you want to. Just let me know.

He groaned as he tossed his phone onto the couch.  Could he be ANY more stiff? Arms propped on the back and arm of the couch, he lay his head back and closed his eyes. Determined to relax so he could eventually sleep. It was so late already and tomorrow he had to work.  Thank god it was the afternoon shift. He was almost asleep when a soft buzzing woke him. He groped blindly for his phone and tapped the screen to read the message.

Dean : Hey Cas, how are you?

 Castiel chewed his lip like he always did when he was nervous.  The butterflies in his stomach were trying desperately to escape through his mouth but he forced the rising bile down.  He could do this.

Cas : I'm good, Dean, how're you?

Before he knew it they had messages flying back and forth talking about everything but what they wanted until Dean finally broke the ice.

Dean :  So you're really out now?

Cas : Yeah, I guess I am.

Dean : How is that going?

Cas : Well, I had my first date tonight so I guess it's going pretty well.

Dean : Oh really

Dean : I mean, that's great right?

Castiel stared up at nothing in particular before sighing to himself. It was great, wasn't it?  He was excited about it an hour ago so why wasn't he as excited now?

Cas : Yeah, I guess.  You're a lot more experienced in these things than I am.

Dean: Am I? haha

Cas : Aren't you?!

He shuffled to the bedroom, phone in hand, and stripped before slipping between the sheets. Trying not to count the minutes that passed without a response was pointless.  Cas had to wonder if maybe he'd crossed a line.

Cas : Dean?

Dean : Can I call you Cas?  I wanna hear your voice.

Should he do this?  What was it about texting that felt harmless while actually talking was so much riskier? Typing and deleting his message several times did nothing to ease the anxious feeling in his chest.

Dean : Please Cas.

He took a deep breath and jumped off the cliff.

"Hello Dean." His voice sounded too loud in his ears after being so quiet for so long.

"Hey Cas." That velvet rumble in Dean's voice always curled his gut but this time it felt practically pornographic. "I'm sorry to have kept you up so late. I hope you don't mind."  How could he possibly mind, his brain was completely numb and his lungs had forgotten what breathing was. He could smell colors if he wanted to.

"No, it's no problem. I'm already in bed, it doesn't matter really."  Smart, Castiel. Tell him you're in bed. Genius.

"Yeah, bed here too." He could hear Dean shift beneath his covers and he suddenly sounded a bit more far away.  Was he on speaker? Surely he wasn't... "So tell me about your date? What's he like?" Something in Dean's voice sounded strained.  If he had to guess, he'd say Dean didn't really want to hear about his date. He switched to speaker and set his phone on his bedside table before turning to tuck an elbow and prop his head in his hand.

"You don't really want to hear about that, do you?"  Baiting Dean was a bad choice but a choice nonetheless.  Cas' heart began to pound as Dean sucked in a deep breath.

 "I have to admit, I'd like to know who this guy is so I can find him in a dark alley somewhere."  Cas chewed his lip nervously. Dean being possessive, even if he had no right to be, scratched an itch he didn't know he had.

"Dean..." Cas chided even though he wanted to goad him on.

 "I'm sorry Cas, I have no right. I can't help it, I just don't like the thought of someone putting their hands on you....I should stop talking, I'm only digging a bigger hole with my big mouth." Dean chuckled to himself and Cas couldn't help but palm his cock, if only to try to calm its obvious agreement with Dean.

"If it makes you feel better, we only kissed." The minute the words were out of his mouth, Cas knew he wasn't helping.  Dean's groan was audible but he hadn't meant it to be, he bit it off as quickly as possible as Cas dropped back and wrapped his fingers around his cock.

"Tongue?" Dean asked, sounding like he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"No. No tongue." Dean huffed and Cas squeezed, biting his lip to keep from letting a tiny gasp escape.

"Tongue is good for lots of things, Cas.  Were you just not interested? Something had you distracted?" There was a change in his tone. A roughness in his voice that curled Cas' hips up involuntarily.

"Maybe. I was a little distracted." He was more than a little distracted now.  His voice came out small and breathy. If Dean noticed the change he didn't let on in any way other than changing the direction of the conversation.

 "Was it my messages Cas?  Were you thinking about me?" A soft huff came from Dean at the end and Cas was keenly aware of what was going on at the other end of this conversation.

 "Are you...Dean are you..."

 "Answer the question Cas, were you thinking about me.  Tell me." Cas didn't hide his groan, or the sound of the lube bottle popping open.

"Yes Dean. I'm always thinking of you." A soft "fuck" ground out between Dean's teeth. The soft slippery sound of Dean stroking had Cas' cock swollen and dripping.

"Do you think about my hand on your cock, Cas?  My fingers wrapped around your gorgeous cock? How it would feel when I stroked it?" Cas' stroking sped up as his moans grew ever louder. "Fuck, Cas I want to touch you."

 The sound of Dean's stroking grew louder and more intense. Cas watched as his slick cockhead disappeared in and out of his fist, his moans growing louder. "God, Dean, make me...please...I'm so close"

"Come for me Cas.  Oh fuck, do it...I'm right fucking there." The cry that erupted from Cas was wanton and more than just release.  The sob that broke after, was drowned out by Dean's guttural cries. Cas covered his face with his pillow and cried.  His emotions raw and unexpected and hidden from Dean.

"Jesus, Cas, I'm a mess.  Are you ok? Were you able to finish?"  Dean's warm chuckle is met with silence as Cas tries to collect himself enough to hide his tear streaked voice.  "Cas? You didn't fall asleep on me did you?"

"I'm here, sorry, I just needed a minute." His attempt to hide what he was feeling was thwarted by the thickness in his voice.

"Cas...talk to me.  If I hurt you, or pushed you too far...god, I'm such a fuck up.  I'm sorry Cas." Cas tried to choke back the sob but it wouldn't be stopped.

"It's ok Dean, but I need to go.  I think I'm just overtired." Lies.

"Ok, but please believe me when I say this was not my plan when I called.  You believe me don't you, Cas?" The desperation in Dean's voice did nothing to assuage the tears that wouldn't stop.

"I know Dean.  Goodnight." He didn't wait for a response before hanging up.  He didn't want to want Dean. He wanted love, a partner, someone who shared his interests, the happily ever after that other people had.  Dean just wanted sex. If he kept doing this to himself, he'd never have what he wanted. Curling onto his side he let the sobs wrack his body until sleep overtook him.

* * *

 

Dean went from warm satisfaction to cold rejection in seconds. He had hurt Cas again and he wasn’t even sure what he’d done.  Maybe he’d moved to fast, pushed too hard.

“FUCK!” Frustration at his own stupidity boiled over into hot tears.  He swiped at his face angrily and toyed with the idea of texting. Maybe if he said the right thing, Cas would forgive him.  But what should he say?

Dean: I suck at this, Cas.  Just let me know you’re ok.

When Cas didn’t answer, Dean folded his hurt and anger in on itself and buried it deep.  This would be no different than any other time he’d caught feelings. He’d get over it in time.  He just had to get Cas out of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there with me, I know where you want this to go and we'll get there but I don't want to rush it. It'll be worth it I promise!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After impromptu phone sex with Dean leaving him empty and in search of more, Cas isn't sure if he wants romance with Mick or the carnal attraction that draws him to Dean. Dean is struggling to push his feelings for Cas away but the more he tries, the harder it is. Can they work this out?

Cas set the phone down on the counter determined to ignore it.  He had piles of books to price and he hadn’t touched them after being on the clock for more than an hour.  He should be focused on the date he had with Mick tonight not whether or not he was getting messages from Dean Winchester.  

A frustrated sigh forced past his lips as he restacked the books for the umpteenth time and began tapping each one a bit harder than necessary with a pricing gun.  Every title made him think of either Mick or Dean. “Rebel on the Loose”, Dean, “Man in Black”, Mick, “Salvation of the Sinner”, Mick, “Forbidden Fruit”, Dean.

“Come on!” he bellowed to a thankfully empty store.  He needed to focus. Mick would be here in a few hours to pick him up and he didn’t want to spend all day trying to figure out if the guy he was dating was going to be able to keep his mind off of the guy he wanted.  Maybe this second date was a bad idea.

* * *

Dean stormed into the shop more than a couple hours late on account of the lack of sleep. He needed to get busy on this foreign piece of crap car that not surprisingly just wouldn’t go away.  DIdn’t these people know they should stick with Chevy?!

He started tossing tools into a bucket, the clang of metal on metal ringing out through the garage but not nearly loud enough to block out the sound of Cas’ moans that replayed over and over in his head.  

“DEAN!” Bobby, his boss, had been yelling and apparently Dean missed the first few yells. “What the hell is going on out here?”

“Sorry Bobby.  I’ll keep it down.” He scrubbed a hand over his face to hide the blush that threatened to creep over his cheeks.  He needed to maintain his cool or he wouldn’t _maintain_ this job.

“Look, Dean, you’ve been wound up for days.  Why don’t you come shooting with me and the boys tonight.  I’ve got a range behind the house, it’s safe and you can use one of my rifles.  It might make you feel better.”

He thought for just a beat before answering.  Maybe Bobby was right. “Yeah, if you’re sure it’s ok, I think that would help.  Thanks Bobby.” He shot his boss a reassuring smile, though the tension in his frame didn’t let up.

“Alright then son, I’ll see you after your shift.”  Bobby gave him a quick nod before stepping into his truck and pulling out of the drive.

Dean lowered himself onto the crawler and slid under the engine with a deep sigh.  Losing himself in his work seemed like the best course of action for now. He only hoped it would work.

* * *

Cas had been pacing up and down the aisles since he finished shelving the used books.  He had a text ready to send and just couldn’t make himself do it. His thumb twitched over the send button and the message inadvertently sent.  “Great.” He stared at his phone wondering if there was a way to undo the sent message.  
****

 

> **Cas** :  Hello Dean, How are you?

When three little dots popped up he made himself comfortable on the floor and tried not to think too much.  They were just friends having a conversation. No reason to see it as anything other than that.

* * *

Dean rolled out from under the car as soon as he felt the vibration in his pocket, his thoughts spinning..  It had to be Cas. Please be Cas. Actually no, fuck Cas. It was probably Andrea.

He sat up on the crawler and looked down at the message from Cas. Was it possible to be relieved and annoyed at the same time?  Why couldn’t Cas just walk away and make this easier on them both.

 

 

> **Dean** :  Hey Cas, I’m ok.  Just working on a car that shouldn’t have been on the road in the first place. You doing ok?
> 
> **Cas** : Yeah, working too.  The bookstore is dead and I’m anxious so I thought I’d see what you were up to.
> 
> **Dean** : Anxious about what?
> 
> **Cas** : I have another date with Mick tonight.  I’m just nervous.

Dean felt like the air had been punched from his lungs.  He hesitated for several minutes before asking a question he wasn’t sure he wanted an answer to.

 

 

> **Dean** : I guess you like him then?

Cas thought for a minute before answering.  Did he like Mick or did he just like the idea of dating and of being wanted?  He decided to answer as honestly as he could.

 

 

> **Cas** : I think so.  He’s kind, and he listens to me.  He actually cares about what I think and what I want.  I’ve never had that before.

Dean grimaced and chucked the wrench he’d been gripping a bit too tightly onto the toolbench so hard that it ricocheted back onto the floor. How dare this pompous ass insinuate that he doesn’t care when all he can do is think of his stupid face. Fuck him.

 

 

> **Dean** : Yeah, I guess you’re right Cas. He’s the only one who cares.  Good luck to the both of you.

He turned off his phone and stuck it deep in his pocket before crawling back under the car.  Swallowing his feelings was something he was damn good at and if that’s what he needed to do now to get through this then that’s what he’d do.  Even if it meant the whole damn town would hear him clanking on this piece of shit car.

* * *

Castiel stared in disbelief.  What just happened?

 

 

> **Cas** : Dean, what are you saying?  I’m sorry if I upset you.

When an hour passed and Dean still hadn’t responded, Cas decided he probably wouldn’t and that he needed to focus on Mick, the gorgeous Irishman he probably didn’t deserve.  He had roughly 30 minutes to clean this shop up and close before Mick got there and he wanted to sneak off to the back and brush his teeth and fix his hair, not that it stayed where he put it.  There just wasn’t any reason to keep pining after Dean.

* * *

Dean didn’t want to admit to anyone how much he hurt.  He wasn’t used to being rejected and he hadn’t been so hung up on someone in years….or really ever.  He’d never felt this way about anyone and he had no reason to. He knew so little about this man outside of his stint as Father Cas, Savior of the Poor.

He’d cleaned up the shop and reorganized the tools.  Scrubbed his face and hands and even managed to sneak out back to his place to change into a clean shirt.  By the time he got to Bobby’s the family was sitting down to dinner and invited Dean to eat with them.

“How long have you and Bobby been married, Janie?” Small talk wasn’t his gift but he felt like this was a simple question.

“Fifteen years this October.  I married her on Halloween because she’s such a witch.” Bobby laughed at his joke while Janie choked on her water.

“For the love of Christ, Bobby!  He’s an ass, Dean, pay no attention.  We dressed up for the wedding and passed out candy to the kids after the ceremony, it was a good time.  What about you? Anyone special in your life we should know about?” She smiled warmly at Dean even as Bobby continued to chuckle to himself.  Dean couldn’t help but laugh at the pair of them even as his heart sank.

“No, no.  Not for me.  I’ll probably be a loaner for a while.  Living behind Bobby’s shop doesn’t exactly make me boyfriend material.” Bobby had to nod his agreement.  Janie shook her head though and tried to reassure him.

“Now Dean, the right person will come along and when they do, don’t waste time wondering.  Speak your mind. Bobby and I danced around dating for five or six years before he finally asked me out and by that time I’d almost given up on him.” She shot him a look that said he shouldn’t interrupt just as he cleared his throat. “I’d loved him since the day I laid eyes on him and so many years wear hard on a heart.”

“She’s right.  I was a dumbass, afraid of my own shadow and of rejection.  Trust me, the embarrassment is worth it on the off chance that the one you love will love you too.” He shrugged as if to punctuate his words.  “Alright, enough sap. Let’s shoot some stuff.”

Dean laughed as the wheels started turning in his head.  He had a sudden urge to pick up the phone but interrupting Cas’ date wasn’t an option.

* * *

Castiel sat at the dining room table in Mick’s small home a fork hovering over his plate.  It seemed huge compared to the apartment Cas lived in and it was smartly decorated in art deco furnishings.  Cas was impressed, if not a little overwhelmed.

“What’s on your mind, gorgeous? You seem lost in thought.” Mick’s wintry eyes glistened in the candle light.  He sat back in his chair and watched Cas squirm a bit at the attention. Obviously nervous, his eyes finally met Mick’s and those crinkles deepened as he smiled.

“You are an excellent decorator. You must have thought my apartment was quite plain, now that I think about it.”  Cas smirked playfully at Mick and watched as he curled forward to place his elbows on the table. He really was a sight.  Those familiar butterflies whirled as he felt his gaze fall to his lips.

“There’s nothing plain about a space that has you in it, Castiel.” The words dripped of desire and stole Cas’ breath. He licked his lips without thought and Mick’s eyes drug down to them like a moth circling a flame.

Standing slowly, Mick rounded the table to pull Castiel’s chair back just a bit.  Cas froze, unsure of what what happening and not able to think with the blood rushing south.  Before he knew it Mick’s strong legs had straddled his thighs where he sat. His arms crossed behind Cas’ neck as his lips brushed over his jaw, his nose, the other jaw, and then his slightly parted lips.  His swelling cock jumped with each touch, wordlessly begging for more.

“I’m going to kiss you now.  Is that ok?” Mick’s whispered words called out to Cas’ need as goose bumps covered his neck and arms. Cas nodded his approval and stayed frozen in his seat. The gentlest of swipes from Mick’s tongue parted his lips the rest of the way as their mouths pressed together softly, it was a caress, a promise of tenderness and desire. Cas’ warm hands moved on their own, up and under the back of Mick’s shirt gliding along his smooth skin, gently dipping beneath the edge of his belt.

The pad of Cas’ finger sliding over his lower back jolted through Mick’s core, his hips rolled against Castiel’s with a gentle pant over his lips.  He threaded his fingers into Cas’ dark hair and pulled his head back exposing the column of his throat. Dragging his wet tongue up and over his adam’s apple had Castiel moaning as he pulled tight on Mick’s belt loops.

“Would you like to see the way I’ve decorated the bedroom?” Mick asked between wet kisses along Cas’ neck. He punctuated it with a gentle puff of warm breath into his ear.  Cas was up like a shot, setting Mick on his feet as Cas claimed his mouth for a much more wanton kiss.

Mick pulled away with a chuckle and wiped the back of his hand over his damp brow.  “You are so hungry and you just ate…”

“I’m pretty certain that it’s your fault.  Don’t you think?” Cas smirked cheekily back at him, feeling bold and like his body was on fire.  All he could think about was Mick’s hands on him and Green eyes. Green? A flash of concern rolled across Cas’ features and Mick pulled back to look at him, uncertainty growing between them.

“Are you sure?” Their connected gaze a swirl of emotion and desire, Cas’ body was more than ready.

“I’m ready.  Please don’t make me wait.” Cas burned one more kiss onto Mick’s kiss swollen lips before their fingers laced together.

* * *

Dean took aim and fired, the sound of the rifle blast landing squarely in his chest even as the butt kicked into his shoulder.  The pain felt good. He needed something to hit him. He knew Cas was probably in the arms of whoever this Mick character was right now and it was eating him from the inside out.

“READY!” he yelled as he cocked the rifle again, took aim, and slowly pulled the trigger back.  The kick hit him again, he grunted against it thinking it sounded a lot like Cas’ grunts but in a completely different context.

* * *

Mick pulled his t shirt up and off of his body, his chest bare, but for a few sparse dark hairs, muscled gently and glistening in the soft light.  Cas stared back at him, a mixture of awe and need curling in his gut. Taking a few steps closer he reached out a hand and gently stroked along the furrow between Mick’s chest muscles.  Mick surrounded Cas’ bristled cheeks with his hands and pulled him in for a kiss that dripped of hunger as the other continued to explore. His hands traced down over the ridges of his torso, before working to unbuckle his belt.  Mick’s teeth captured Cas’ lower lip and pulled as he growled low. The whimper that came from Cas was needy and tinged his cheeks a bright red as the button popped on Mick’s waistband. His fingers worked down over the rest of the buttons, brushing over Mick’s desire the whole way.

Mick kicked off his jeans and briefs and stepped back just enough to strip Cas’ as naked as he.  The both of them stared at each other for just a moment before Mick slid down Cas’ body to his knees and nosed against his hard cock. He lapped a broad wet tongue against his warm sack as his fingers kneaded Cas’ clenched ass.  When his lips wrapped around his cock, Cas let out a moan and fisted into Mick’s hair as his head bobbed up and down his shaft. His mind ricocheted from the present to Dean’s moans in his ear as his hips struggled not to buck forward.  Mick moved painfully slowly, teasing, tonguing over the slit in the head of his cock, before swallowing him down to nuzzle his nose in the soft hairs at the base of it. Cas’ knees wobbled as he fought to hold on to the post of the bed.

* * *

Dean fired again, and again.  The blasts doing nothing to rid him of the anger growing in his gut. He could feel someone else's hands on Cas.  Someone else's lips stretched around his cock. Cas’ perfect cock fucking into someone else.

“READY!” He bellowed as the shout broke around the lump in his throat.  The shell casing hit the floor as he fired, feeling very much like the last pieces of his heart. Leaving behind a cold emptiness.

“Bobby!  You got a pistol?” He yelled loud enough for Bobby to hear through his soundproof muffs.  He waved him over and handed him a .22 and a box of bullets. Bobby knew something was up but he didn’t want to pry. A man’s heartbreak was his own business but he knew it when he saw it.

Dean loaded up the chamber and fired 6 shots in succession, before letting out a deep breath and loading again.

* * *

Castiel found himself laid back on the bed, Mick crawling up his body laying tender kisses up his chest as he moved.  How he got here, he wasn’t sure but his head was swimming with the need to come. He wanted to make Mick come. He wanted to hear his moans in his head and not Dean’s.  Rolling them over, Cas wrapped a hand around their cocks and stroked gently before Mick pointed to the lube on the bedside table. Before he could say a word, Cas swiped it from the table and drizzled it over the tips of their throbbing cock heads. Mick bit back a moan as Cas began to stroke.  He tried to go slow. To savor the sensation, but Mick thrusting up into his hand was pushing him closer and closer to release. “Mick...god….I’m gonna…”

* * *

The shots rang out as Dean gritted his teeth against the growing ache in his chest.

A reload and then more shots but it did nothing to tamp down the feelings he knew he couldn’t escape.

He had to make things right with Cas before it was too late.

* * *

Mick’s groans echoed off the walls of his room, Cas’ own intermingled but he marveled at how loud he was. Fists full of the sheets, Mick rocked up and into Cas’ fist over and over as Cas finally closed his eyes and let his thoughts go where they wanted.  To Dean.

“Come with me Cas.  Make me come, gorgeous…” In seconds Cas was marking Mick’s chest with thick ropes as Mick came over Cas’ fist.  Cas continued to stroke as he rode out his orgasm before Mick finally squirmed beneath him begging him to stop with a laugh.  

“You’re going to milk me dry there, Cas. Go easy!” He pulled himself free of Castiel’s grasp as Cas slowly relaxed. a mixture of relief and pain in his chest.  Mick reached up and brushed a lock of Cas’ hair away as he searched his face. There was something there that shouldn’t be but he couldn’t put his finger on it. “You alright there, gorgeous?” Mick laid back on his elbows and waited as Cas rolled onto his back on the bed.

“Yeah, of course.  I’m fantastic. That was….amazing.”  He fought to catch his breath as Mick slotted their bodies together, a mixture of sweat and come sticking them together. “Ewwww” Cas cried out as Mick let out a loud belly laugh.  

“Come on, I think a shower may be in order, yeah?” He slid off the bed and pulled Cas up and into his arms before softly kissing his parched lips.  “You’re sure you’re alright, mate? No regrets?” Their eyes locked together as Cas’ heart pounded in his chest.

“No.  No regrets.” Their lips met one last time before Mick pulled away dragging Cas to the bathroom before he could hear his phone vibrating on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is already being edited! Posting on Monday 2/18 so mark your calendar!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big decisions are made and truths are revealed as Cas and Dean finally start saying what they mean. The slow burn is slow. :)
> 
> A big thank you to Writer75 who is my long suffering beta reader for helping to make this chapter so much better.

Castiel stared at the message he’d received from Dean asking him to call before shoving his phone back into his pocket for the umpteenth time.  He’d seen it when he left Mick’s last night but couldn’t bring himself to call and now it felt like it’d been too long. Anxiety was twisting his stomach into knots.  What was it about Dean Winchester that just wouldn’t let him let go? He liked Mick, a lot actually, but it was Dean that showed up in his dreams and behind closed eyes while Mick’s fingers played over his skin.  It just wasn’t right.

The bell chimed announcing a customer's arrival, pulling Cas out of his own head. He looked through the bookshelves and noticed a familiar black t-shirt stretched across familiar shoulders.  Mick. Shoving the last two books back onto the shelf he ran a shaky hand through his mess of hair and made his way to the front of the store. A slow smile spread across Mick's lips as Cas approached looking disheveled and tired.

"Exhausted suits you gorgeous, not that it's ideal.  I take it you didn't sleep well?" He smirked as Cas shoved his hands into his pockets before leaning on the counter.  Wrapping his gently muscled arms around Cas' waist, Mick slotted his lips against Cas' and kissed him gently, tugging softly at his lower lip as he pulled away.  A silent promise of more to come. Cas blinked his eyes open and slowly let go of Mick's jacket. He didn't remember grabbing a fistful of it but his brain felt drugged and fuzzy.  Kissing was rapidly becoming his new favorite thing.

"Cas, are you in there mate?" Mick waved a hand in front of Cas' face as he chuckled, impressed with his effect on the dark haired book hawker. "I mean, I'm a fair to middlin' kisser but you'd give a man a big head reactin' like that... in more ways than one."

Cas shook his head as if clearing the cobwebs away and smiled softly. "Sorry, I'm more than a little out of it today and that was more than I expected out of my lunch hour."  Mick grinned and leaned in close before brushing his warm lips along Castiel's rough jawline, a sensation that curled a familiar tendril in his gut. Guilt. He pushed Mick back gently, but firmly.   The confused look on Mick's face spoke volumes.

"Mick, I’m sorry, I just..." a sigh escaped where the words wouldn’t form.  Cas looked at the floor as he fumbled through navigating this painful situation.

"Cas, why do I feel like you're apologizing for more than just pushing me away?" Mick took another step back, arms crossed defensively in front of him.  Castiel met his gaze with a blue ocean of pain.

"Mick, I don't think I’m ready for…” Cas paused a little too long searching for words.

"You know Castiel Novak, I had a feeling you weren't ready but when Charlie set us up and you walked into the restaurant I was sure it was fate.  What were the chances that the guy I hit on at the bookstore was the same guy my best friend would pick out for me.”

"Mick, let me explain…” Cas took one more small step toward the ice in Mick’s gaze.

“I don’t sleep with everyone.  What happened last night was special to me and I thought it was to you. There’s someone else, isn’t there?” There was hurt in his eyes but the dawning of understanding that was there was throwing Cas into a panic.

“It was and I think that’s what made me realize I’ve got to be sure I’m 100% in with you before this can go any further.” Cas stared at his feet. The shame he felt in his gut felt like the past coming back to haunt him.

“I just wish you had told me this before last night.” Mick rubbed the back of his head as a grimace stole over his face.”Dammit Cas.” his sigh was pained and sharp.  “Whoever he is, he's a lucky man. I just hope he’s worth it." Mick turned to head for the door, as Cas followed weakly behind, panic swirling in his chest.

“Mick, I...I’m so sorry.” The lump in Cas’ throat was hard to force down. Hurting Mick was the last thing he wanted.

“Just do me a favor and don’t call. I’m not in the business of being anyone’s second choice." He nodded as if reassuring himself that he meant it and pushed his way through the door a little too roughly. Cas stared after him wondering if he’d done the right thing.  What if this _thing_ with Dean, whatever it was, turned out to be nothing he wanted.  

He lowered himself into the tattered wing back chair in the sitting area and groaned in frustration. Dean had a way of ruining everything without even knowing it if for no other reason than Cas can’t seem to get him out of his head.  He needed to figure this out once and for all but he needed a plan.

* * *

 

Dean fumed as minutes seemed to take hours while he waited for a response from Cas.  Could he not at least text to say he wasn’t going to call? Any kind of response at this point would be better than radio silence.  He didn’t want to think about the possibility that Cas had fallen for this “Mick” guy.

Dean grunted against the squeeze in his chest that threatened to steal his breath. If he hadn’t heard from Cas by the time he got home today he’d just call himself.  Simple as that. With a grumble he flipped down the mask on his welding helmet and went back to work on the old Indian Motorcycle he'd snagged on the cheap from the local junkyard.  

A vibration in his pocket stalled his thoughts and almost had him dropping the blowtorch. With an air of stubbornness, he continued to work until he’d finished the weld and put his tools away.  If Cas was going to take his time to respond, so was he.

That stubborn streak lasted all of fifteen minutes.

 **Cas** : I’m sorry Dean, things here have been chaotic.  Can I call you tonight or is it an emergency?

How do you say, “I can’t stop thinking about you” in a way that doesn’t sound desperate and needy?  You can’t.

 **Dean** : No big deal. Whatever.

Ok, yeah, that sounds sufficiently disinterested.

 **Cas** : Are you sure? Your message sounded urgent.

He wanted to be an asshole and say “It was.  Yesterday.” but he knew that would just start this whole conversation off on the wrong foot.  

 **Dean** : No, really, it’s fine.

 **Cas** : I get off at 6pm and then it’ll take me about an hour to settle in at home.  I’ll call you then.

 **Dean** : k

Four hours.  How the hell was he going to get through the next four hours. He thought about grabbing some dinner on his way home to pass the time but suddenly he wasn't so hungry. He could keep working on the bike but his hands were probably too shaky.  Laundry? Who the hell does _laundry_ to pass the time?

What was he even doing? He was setting himself up for a whole lot of heartache.  Maybe he should just keep his trap shut.

* * *

 

The rest of the day passed so slow that it bordered on painful for Castiel.  Obviously Dean was upset. He ricocheted back and forth between a gnawing desire to fix whatever was wrong and wanting to tell him he wished he’d never called and ruined his perfect little life.  He felt like he was running toward the edge of a cliff with no hope of stopping.

When the last customer finally left, he cashed out the register and closed up without tidying up.  He could always come back in the morning a little early. Dinner wasn’t going to happen, the thought of food made him want to vomit.  He stopped at the liquor store on his way home and looked for something palatable. Grabbing a small bottle of the whiskey and a shot glass, he finally headed for home.

* * *

 

The moment he opened the door, Dean’s green eyes lit on the newspaper clipping of Cas laying on the table.  He'd been staring at it last night when he finished of his near nightly bottle of whiskey waiting for Cas to call when he should have been sleeping.  He turned on the stereo he’d found at the local thrift store and roamed around his tiny space aimlessly. He only had about thirty more minutes to wait, why did it feel like it was taking forever.  

Finally allowing himself to sit on the couch, he picked up the picture and stroked a grease stained thumb over it. Could he do this?  When Cas calls, will the words even come out? He sighed and dropped his head back onto the throw pillow that was permanently situated where his head rested on the back of the couch. Slowly but surely, the lack of sleep caught up with him and between the music and the snoring, he didn’t hear the ringtone he’d been wanting to hear all day when the first few chords of Stairway to Heaven rang out.

* * *

 

Cas ended the call when Dean’s voicemail picked up.  Maybe he’d been right all along, and Dean had been upset about something. Three shots down and still feeling anxious as hell, he decided to knock a couple more back before he tried again.  When he missed the table and dropped the newly empty shot glass on the floor he knew he was in trouble. His head swam when he leaned back on the couch and he started to giggle at the way his stomach rolled, something akin to being on a roller coaster.  Maybe he’d just call back and leave a message. Yeah. He felt really good about this idea. When the voicemail picked up the second time, he took a deep breath and let loose with what’d been on his mind all day.

“Dean, it’s Cas.  Look, I know you probably just want to fuck, I can deal with that for now I think.  I broke it off with Mick and….yeah… Anyway, call me back.”

He fell over on the couch overthinking everything possible until he passed out. Maybe the whiskey hadn’t been his best idea.

* * *

 

Dean woke up with a jolt and grabbed at his phone. He cursed low under his breath when he noticed the missed calls.  Rubbing sleepily at his eyes, he toed off his boots and turned off the radio before logging into his voicemail. Cas sounded...drunk? What the hell.  Fuck sake. He couldn’t talk to him like this, and what was this bullshit about only wanting sex. Where did he get that idea? He didn’t even think before hitting the call button.  When Cas’ voicemail picked up, he wasn’t ready.

“Um...Cas, look.  I don’t know what made you think sex was all I wanted. I mean, sex with you is amazing wherever it is so..  Shit. What am I saying? Look, just call me please, and put the damn bottle down. Since when do you drink?!”

Dean sighed as he dropped down onto the corner of the bed.  He needed to eat and he needed some sleep. Cas was probably passed out somewhere so he wouldn’t be calling any time soon and his stomach was more than a little angry about the lack of food.  Knowing Cas wasn’t wrapped around someone else eased his anxiety a little but he still didn’t know what to do. Even if they wanted to give this a try, how could they?

* * *

 

Several hours later, Cas woke with a crick in his neck from being folded against the back of the couch for so long. He grabbed his phone and winced at the hour.  1:00 am felt like an impossibility so he drug himself to the bedroom and looked at the alarm clock. Nope, it was definitely 1:00 am. Great. He peeled out of his clothes and left them in a pile on the floor before climbing into bed.  All of a sudden, the memory of the message he’d left Dean flooded back and he groaned. He grabbed his phone and noticed the voicemail.

He dropped a pillow over his face as he listened, cheeks flaming. Without even thinking about the time he hit the call back button. A very sleepy Dean answered the phone.

* * *

 

“Cas, do you even know what time it is?” Dean rubbed into his eyes with the heel of his free hand, willing the sleep away.

“I’m sorry Dean, I just woke up and..”

“...came to, you mean.” Dean interrupted. Cas sounded anxious and a little out of it.  Dean couldn’t help but be concerned. “Are you ok? What’s going on?”

“Ok, ok.  Yes, I had been drinking.  I was kind of anxious and thought maybe...I don’t know.  Can we just forget the message I left?” Castiel tried to laugh it off but he knew he wasn’t getting off that easy.

“Nope.  I tend to tell the truth when I’m tanked Cas, and I’m pretty sure that’s what you did.  You wanna tell me why you think I only want to get in your pants?” Dean could feel his voice softening. The hurt he was trying to stifle was coming through loud and clear.  The sigh on the other end of the line told him he wasn’t the only one feeling wounded.

“Dean, look.  When I was still ministering to the people in town, my desire for you is what got me.  Let’s face it, there was no emotional connection, there wasn’t time for one! Then the one time we talk on the phone it devolves into phone sex.”

Dean felt like he’d been punched. "Cas, is that what you think I do?  Randomly call people and jack off? Sex isn’t my job anymore but thanks for that." The anger didn't quite hide the hurt in Dean's words.

"No, Dean, that's not what I meant at all!  I just...." Cas sighed his frustration away and fought for a new way to say what his heart wanted to know.  "Dean, I need to know if you're interested in seeing where this might go. I can't stop thinking about you and if that's not what you want, I need to distance myself."  There was silence on the line, he was almost sure Dean had hung up. "Dean?"

"Cas...I can't stop thinking about you either." Dean curled onto his side as if the very words caused him pain. "But what are we going to do?  You're there, and I'm here. Hell, we don't even know if we have anything in common."

"Come for a visit." The words were out of Cas' mouth before he could stop them. It was rash, and stupid really, but he needed to know if there was anything to this.

"I mean, maybe. I suppose I could scrape up enough to stay a couple days." Dean knew this was going to put him in a bind but he had to try.

"One week Dean, only if you really want to, and you can stay with me. I have a guest room for you and we can just take it slow. Just get enough together for a round trip flight and I’ll take care of the rest." Cas voice wavered on the last bit, afraid he’d gone too far.

"I would love to come see you." Dean's words came out hushed, reverent. "Just tell me when Cas, and I’m there."

"I'm off next week. Can you get here that fast?" The hope in Cas' voice was palpable and Dean couldn't help but grin.  

"Yeah, I'll let my boss know tomorrow. Just text me your info and I'll be up there Sunday night." The butterflies in his stomach belied the calm confidence his words carried. Nervous as hell would be an understatement.

"I'll look forward to it then, Dean. Talk to you soon."

"Night Cas."  

"Night Dean."  

Dean sat with the phone against his ear for a full minute before pulling it away. This was his chance and now he had to just not mess up. No problem.

* * *

 

"You did WHAT?" Charlie's temper was just as fiery as her hair.

"Char, calm down." Cas sat on the couch cross legged while Charlie stared at him, mouth agape, hands on hips, like a mother scolding her child.

"Castiel Novak. You invited the man who destroyed your career to come stay with you for a week?  Help me understand because I have concerns." She dropped to the floor, a hand draped over her chest dramatically. Cas rolled his eyes and sipped his tea. "DID YOU JUST ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME?!" He choked back a laugh, almost spraying her with tea and spit.

"Charlie. It's going to be fine. He's not violent, he's just....a retired sex worker." The words stuck in his throat like they didn't want to come out. Charlie cocked an eyebrow in wordless annoyance. "Don't look at me like that, I need to make sure there is nothing there or I'm never going to move on with my life."

"Mick is not even talking to me right now. I hope he's worth it." Charlie smirked as she spoke, obviously exaggerating. “Since when are you even talking to this guy?”

"He text me during dinner." He spoke quietly as Charlie's eyes grew wide.

"DURING DINNER WITH MICK?!" She cursed silently to herself as Cas resumed sipping his tea. "I'm going to need a drink."

"Shot glass is in the cabinet next to the whiskey." He chuckled over his mug as she stood and stared at him, mouth agape. Sitting his cup down on the table next to him he allowed her to drop into his lap as she often did. She tucked her forehead against his neck in resignation as a deep sigh left her body. "It'll be fine Char, you'll see." He stroked her back hoping to reassure her.

"Alright Cas. I'll let this one go but you have to promise to introduce me to this guy.  I want to know that you're ok." He groaned but knew he couldn't refuse. Her concern came from a good place. "Promise me..."

"At the end of the week _if_ things are going well, I'll introduce you. Promise." She smiled at him and kissed his cheek before hopping off his lap to grab her jacket.

"I love you Cas. I'll call you." She winked as she popped open the door and he waved at her as he took another sip of his lukewarm tea. He hoped he was doing the right thing, there was really only way to know.

* * *

 

Before either of them knew it, Sunday had dawned and Dean was throwing the few things left of importance into his duffel. He didn't know what was going to happen after this week was up but if Cas gave him any reason to stay, he didn't want to have to come back. The fact that his whole life fit into this one bag was a testament to how he lived his life. Ready to pack up and leave in a moment's notice, maybe this time he was heading into something good instead of away from something bad.  

Purchasing a plane ticket had taken a sizable bite out of his savings account but he'd sold the bike he was working on to his boss for his son. Probably a last ditch effort at a father son project before the kid left this tiny town for good. Dean walked down to Mrs. Bennett's with his bag slung over his shoulder, a mixture of fear and anticipation rolling in his gut. The brisk wind did him some good and by the time he got there he was feeling downright optimistic. She met him at the door with her traveling clothes on ready for a bit of a drive to the airport. He grinned down at her as she popped on her hat.

"My, don't you clean up well Mr. Winchester. I'm certainly glad Castiel will have such handsome company." Her eyes flashed a bit as she spoke. Dean’s jaw dropped in shock.

"How did you...Andrea told you didn't she?" He smirked at the older woman as she picked up her purse. She might as well have been straightening her dented halo.

"Actually no, seemed obvious to me that you were going to see him. You nearly blanched sheet white every time I mentioned his name.” Dean took her frail hand and walked her to the car shaking his head the whole way.

"I can't believe you didn't say anything, Mrs. Bennett. I hope you don't think badly of me." He couldn't quite look at her, shame colored his face. She clucked her tongue at him and grabbed his chin firmly, pulling his eyes to hers.

"What happened between you two is between you two. It's none of my business. The Dean Winchester I know is the sweet boy that fixes my car and has dinner with a lonely old woman. There's not an ugly bone in your body. Now you get in this car or we're not going to make your flight." Dean seated her in the car and shut her door, swiping away a tear as he stood. Viola Bennett was going to be the only thing he missed about this town.

After spending an hour in the car with her, he felt like he was leaving family behind. She knew he probably wouldn’t be back but he wasn’t so optimistic. He promised to call and to give her love to Cas before kissing her wizened cheek and wiping away her tears with a gentle swipe of his thumb. He waved as she pulled away before making his way to the gate to wait for his flight. The flight that would take him to Cas. His heart pounded in his chest as he boarded, his head full of “what if’s”.

* * *

 

Cas had been running around the apartment cleaning and re-cleaning for no reason other than the fact that he just could not sit still. He checked his hair a million times and changed his clothes twice before finally deciding he was being ridiculous. Now, as he sat in the car waiting for Dean to text that he had landed, his stomach rolled and fluttered. Maybe this was a terrible idea. What if it really was all about the sex? What if Dean didn't want anything to do with him unless he was dressed like a priest? He rubbed over his face roughly as if trying to erase his errant thoughts. Surely he was losing it.

His phone vibrating on the console let off a loud buzzing noise and jarred his already tattered nerves.

 **Dean:** I'm here. Meet me in Luggage Pick-Up? Should be carousel B3.

Cas let out a sigh, a mixture of fear and relief.  Ready or not...

 **Cas:** See you there.

The walk in to the airport seemed to take forever but he'd arrived before the luggage.  A few people were roaming around chatting and obviously waiting for loved ones. Cas didn't know what to do with himself. He shoved his hands into his pockets nervously and then changed his mind and decided to sit. Finally he settled on leaning against a pillar that Dean would have to pass to get to the luggage. He crossed an arm against his waist and nibbled absentmindedly on his thumbnail, a habit that only showed itself when he was a hair's breadth from a breakdown.  

Through the crowd he saw a flash of a familiar face before someone blocked the view.  Standing straighter to get a better look, he fought to find that face again, only to be thwarted with even more passengers.

Dean thought he saw Cas through the crowd. That had to be him by the pillar, didn't it?  He'd know that hair anywhere but the way he looked in street clothes stole his breath. He stood stock still for a moment and let the flow of passengers move around him. It was definitely Cas.  A Green Day t-shirt, olive green cardigan, black well worn jeans slung low and holy hell, were those Docs? Dean watched as Cas rubbed a nervous hand through already messy dark hair and scanned the crowd. He was overcome. He'd waited so long to see Cas again and there he was waiting just for him. Dean made a beeline straight for him, practically pushing people out of his way.

Cas stiffened and then started to move toward Dean when he saw him pushing through the crowd, the panic in his gut replaced with urgency.  He was right there, he just had to get to him.

Dean dropped his bag and shuffled the last couple steps before throwing his arms around Cas, pressing his soft lips to Cas' chapped ones. Cas’  arms slipped around Dean's neck, pulling him tighter into an embrace he didn't realize he wanted so badly. Dean pulled back first to catch his breath and Cas slumped against him, his legs feeling jelly like and useless.  

"Sorry Cas, I didn't mean to attack you I just.." Dean’s brow furrowed as his eyes roamed over every feature of Cas’ face.

"I couldn't help myself either." Cas' blue eyes searched Dean's for any hint of remorse and found none.  They were just about to go for one more kiss before someone yelled out, "GET A ROOM!". A red blush moved across Cas' cheeks as Dean chuckled to himself.  He grabbed his bag from the floor and motioned for Cas to lead the way to the car. Cas took off at a frantic pace, desperate to get out of the airport but Dean slipped his fingers between Cas' and pulled the back of his hand to his lips for a quick kiss  before giving him a reassuring wink. This was going to be a long drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So remember how I said there were only going to be 6 chapters.... Ok, I lied. lol Don't hate me. We needed this sort of tender meeting between these characters. The good stuff is coming, the question is, will they be able to take it slow? I guess we'll find out!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've been waiting for this moment for so long, but now that it's here would there be anything that they could hold on to? Was it all lust or could love be lurking around the corner?

Dean didn’t realize how tightly he’d been holding Cas’ hand until they were abruptly separated  as they made their way through arrivals. Dean’s fingers ached to thread themselves back through Cas’ and feel the thump of his heart beat through his thumb.  He had never been this into anyone else and it scared the shit out of him, he just couldn’t stay away. 

Cas cleared his throat nervously motioning toward his car.  He scrubbed at the back of his neck. “Sorry, it’s not much but it gets me where I need to go.  I’m still not very into ‘stuff’ so it’s really just about practicality. I only have it for long drives though I may need to find something else.  It’s making a weird noise lately.” He side eyed Dean who was smiling softly as he watched Cas squirm. “What are you smiling at?” 

“You.  This whole ‘not a priest’ look is good Cas, you look amazing.  Happy.” Dean’s fingers moved as he spoke, brushing the smallest of damp curls behind Cas’ ear before trailing the calloused pad of his thumb over his bristled cheek.  The growing heat in his belly was going to have to be tamped down. He’d promised to take this slow but he had no idea how hard it was going to actually be. 

“I am, Dean. Especially now.” Cas pinned Dean with a warm smile that stole his breath and sent the panic off in his gut again. Maybe two weeks would have been better. 

“Don’t worry Cas, I can take a look at the car this week.  Why have mechanic friends if you can’t take advantage?” He winked back at Cas trying to take some of the heaviness out of the space between them.

Cas started the car and maneuvered out of the parking lot as he thought through what should happen next.  Plans. He needed plans.. His panic laden chest was practically vibrating with nerves and desire that he wasn’t sure he wanted to have just yet.  After several minutes of silence, Cas could feel himself being watched. “Dean, you’re staring.” He meant it to be a joke but Dean stiffened and turned to peer out the dash.

“Sorry, I just... I only had a few memories of you and one picture.  I’m still taking everything in.” He rubbed nervously at his bottom lip with his thumb before folding his arms protectively across his chest.

“I know, I struggled with the same...wait...a picture? Where on earth did you get a picture?” Cas grinned at Dean who’s face reddened as he squirmed.

“Don’t change the subject Cas, what was that about a struggle?” Dean smirked back at him in challenge and Castiel laughed.  God he loved that laugh.

“Oh no you don’t, I asked about the picture first!” Cas’ gummy grin melted any resolve Dean had, confession had begun.

“It was a newspaper clipping.  Now that I think about it, I know Ms. Bennett was feeling me out but she told me they’d run a story about you in the paper and I picked one up and there you were playing with the local kids, a huge smile on your face and I just.. I kept it, ok?  Don’t make me regret telling you.” Dean harrumphed defensively as Cas thought about the implications of what he was saying. He’d kept a picture of him. Swallowing a lump in his throat he decided it was time to tell Dean about Virginia Bennett.

“Are you and Ginny close?” Cas nervously wrung his hands over the steering wheel as he spoke and Dean picked up on the change in his demeanor instinctively.

“Ginny...you mean Mrs. Bennett?  She’s the only family I have outside of Sam.  Why?” There was an emptiness growing in the pit of his stomach and he wasn’t sure he really wanted the answer to this question.

“Ginny was the one who was sitting in the church when I ran out of the confessional, Dean.” He said it quietly, hesitant to disrupt the relationship Dean had with her.  Reaching across the seat he covered Dean’s hand with his own as Dean sat in silence, letting the pieces of his memory click into place. It only took a moment for him to see it.  The shocked look on her face as he sauntered out of the confessional still redressing himself like he was proud of what he’d done. The shame came back on a wave of insecurity. “Dean, please understand, she didn’t have anything to do with why I left, that was…” Dean cut him off quickly.

“...my doing.  You left because of me.”  Forcing the bile that threatened to rise back down, Dean popped his door open just as Cas slid the car into park.  Cas almost ran around the car towards him. He stopped in front of the grown man who more closely resembled a defensive teenager in this moment and took both of his hands, stroking softly across the back of each one.

“Dean, I’m only going to say this once, and I need you to hear me.  Are you ready?” Cas’ eyes demanded attention but he could feel the wall around Dean cracking. Nodding, he looked away, overcome with the intensity of that blue gaze.. “I left because I needed to.  I’d been running from who I was since I was in Jr. High, your attentions were impossible to resist but that’s because I am  _ who I am _ and trying to hide it wasn’t going to stop it.”  Dean swallowed in vain against the growing lump in his throat.  Great. Tears on the first god damn day. 

“Ginny loves you like one of her own, if her words mean anything to you.  She wrote to me after she found out you were coming out to see me and sang your praises over five sheets of floral scented stationery.  It was remarkable really and my apartment smelled like someone’s grandmother for a week.” Dean’s chuckle was all the reassurance Cas needed that he was right to tell him.  He swiped away the tears on either side of the face he desperately wanted to kiss before Dean grabbed his bag and let him lead them inside with Cas’ fingers slotted between his own. That simple touch was something they both needed. It was the tether that connected all the emotions they were struggling to work through and letting go was painful. 

Cas tucked their joined hands into the small of his back as he worked to unlock the door and pull Dean inside.  Dean pushed the door closed with the heel of his free hand and Cas jumped at the sound as it closed. The tension that followed them inside was palpable, suddenly supercharged.  There was something about being behind closed doors alone that seemed to take their emotions and drag them all the way down to the very edge of desire. 

“So, this is it.” The words came out hushed as Cas spoke, suddenly feeling less confident about his bare apartment, and nervous about Dean’s silence behind him.  Dean, moved up against Castiel’s back to wrap strong arms around him from behind. Nosing into his dark hair he breathed in the shared space between them as Cas began to tremble.

“Cas, I’m not going any further than this. I just needed to hold you, and I know it’s weird but I wanted to remember the smell of you when I first got here. Maybe all of this goes sideways, but I don’t want to forget this moment.” He pressed a kiss to the back of Cas’ warm neck before taking a step back, pushing anxious hands deep into his pockets.  Cas stood stock still, his mind in a whirl.

Dean couldn’t see the range of emotion that moved across Cas’ face as he fought with himself to move slow, to not jump off this cliff and let his emotions fly. Cas turned to take Dean’s face into his hands, his thumb stroking along his cheeks as he searched the forest of green staring back at him for answers. Dean wrapped him up in his arms again and pulled him impossibly close. His name a ragged whisper on his lips as their noses brushed against each other.

Cas poured himself into into the fire that just wouldn’t go out between them. His arms slid around Dean’s neck as he fought for control only for Dean to pull back. It was too soon, they needed to stop or this was just more of what they were already doing. Breaking the kiss only encouraged Castiel’s soft kisses down Dean’s neck.  The amount of restraint it took to stop this was monumental and as much as he wanted to give in, he needed Cas to see that this wasn’t about sex. 

“Cas...Castiel, stop.” Castiel pulled away, his expression drunk on desire even as it clouded with embarrassment. Dean fought for a full breath to get himself thinking with the right head.

“I’m sorry Dean, I didn’t…” Cas rubbed his hands over his face as he stepped away, clearly misunderstanding.

“No, no, no, Cas listen.” He took his hands, unaware of the way he mirrored Cas’ earlier behavior, “the physical stuff between us, it’s a given.  You know how I want you, don’t you?” Cas nodded silently as his hands started to tremble.” I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt that this is not about sex. I’m not here to get in your pants, Cas. I know there’s something more here but I need for you to know it.  I don’t want you to look at me and see that asshole who corrupted you in a confessional. I don’t ever want to be that guy again.” 

“Dean, you can’t corrupt the corrupted.” An apologetic smirk played on his kiss swollen lips as his blue eyes shone. His hair was a bigger mess than ever from Dean’s wandering hands. Did he really have to be so gorgeous?  “Come on, let me show you to your room so you can unpack and get washed up. We can go out or stay in, it’s up to you. I know you’ve had a long flight and are probably hungry.

“Come on Cas, I’m always hungry.” Dean’s attempt to break the tension was mildly effective as he followed Cas down the hall but he couldn’t help allowing his eyes to rove over every inch of his host, trying desperately not to pick him up and carry him off to the bedroom himself. When they turned the corner into the spare bedroom, it took everything he had not to throw Cas down on the bed.  Steadying himself with a deep breath, he moved to sit on the bed and smiled at Cas who was propped up in the doorway nibbling at his lip the way he seemed to do when he was nervous. Dean’s heart ached to lock this small thing away, a documenting of one of Cas’ nervous habits. He was learning his partner.

Dean rubbed at his jaw as he weighed his options. It might be good for both of them to go out and get some distance between their overactive bodies.  “I’ve never been on an actual date Cas, so if you want to be my first, I’d love to go out. Just give me some time to clean up.” Castiel’s grin was all the answer he needed, Dean’s heart began to pound with nervous excitement. Almost everything they did together was going to be new and he couldn’t wait to have those moments with this ocean eyed, sex haired, disgraced clergyman.

“I’ll be right across the hall.  Just knock when you’re ready.” Closing the door behind him, Cas moved to his bedroom to work on his own disheveled appearance. He caught a look at himself in the mirror and couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face. Dean had left his mark on nearly every bit of exposed skin in one way or another and it was making him want to run back across the hall. Slipping his phone out of his pocket, he fired off a text to Charlie.

> Cas: So happy.  I’m so incredibly happy.

As if she’d been waiting to hear from him, his phone buzzed in his hand almost immediately.

> Charlie: If he hurts you, I’ll murderize him.  You’ve been warned. 

He rolled his eyes as a second text appeared..

> Charlie: If he loves you, I’ll love him forever. You deserve this Cas.
> 
> Cas: I love you too, Char.

Castiel collapsed back onto his bed, ready to combust and happier than he’d ever been. If he wasn’t careful, he’d be off the deep end by the end of the night.

 

* * *

 

Dean stretched as he settled onto the bed, checking his phone for messages and relieved to see a text from Andrea.

> Andrea: Well?  Don’t leave me hanging Dean, is it love at first sight or are you two banging like rabbits already?
> 
> Dean: I don’t even know how to describe this feeling.  

Dean laid back on the bed and laid his phone on the sliver of his exposed belly as he thought about the unending squeeze in his chest and the feeling like he needed to run a marathon and climb Everest in the same moment. He’d never felt like this.  His phone buzzed.

> Andrea: Oh Dean, you idiot, that’s what the locals call “love”  ;) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 is almost done! Look for it to appear on Monday, March 4th!  
> ** All, due to the passing of Luke Perry, I'm going to be working on an article to celebrate his life tonight. I'm going to push publication of the next chapter to Friday, 3/8 to accommodate my IRL work schedule changes. Thank you for your patience!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sexual tension in the apartment is running high. Can they keep their hands to themselves long enough to get to dinner?

Dean grabbed the stack of towels from the dresser in his room and couldn’t help but smile.  Everything was perfectly in place. Cas didn’t appear to be anything close to a neat freak but this place was spotless and it made him want to break Cas out of that sense of order.  To take him apart until all he wanted was sex and the air he needed to breathe. Realization of such carnal intentions made his stomach turn. Frustrated by his inability to think past his dick, he slammed the door just a touch too hard on his way to the bathroom and shocked Cas out of his daydreaming.

Castiel jolted upright from his position in his bed wondering if something had happened.  Maybe it was too much to ask Dean to go out after such a long flight, or worse, maybe the formality of an actual date was upsetting him. He weighed what to do and listened to the shower start up in the bathroom.

* * *

Dean scrubbed a little too hard on his skin in frustration, the pain slowly bringing him back to himself. He could do this. He could stay away from Cas long enough to prove himself. Cas deserved all the effort he could drum up so come hell or high water, he’d keep his dick in his pants.  After a quick rub of his hair, he toweled off, popped in his ear buds and cranked up the music while he brushed his teeth and rushed through a quick shave. He gave himself a long look in the half fogged mirror. If the tented towel he was wearing was any indication, his body was going to make this hell.

* * *

Once Cas had worked himself into a nervous mess over analyzing every little thing that had happened since that kiss in the airport, he decided he needed to check on Dean.

He padded down the hall to the bathroom door in his socks and knocked softly. “Hey, Dean, if you don’t want to go out, I don’t want to push you…” the door popped open as he spoke.  As the steam billowed out of the tiny bathroom, Dean’s half naked and startled form filled the doorway. Towel tied so low around his hips the neatly trimmed curls just peeked out, wet hair rubbed into a sexy riot on his head, and a look that said he had no idea Cas had been at the door.  Hands full of dirty clothes and toiletries he struggled with what to do and how to make this look less like a cheap porno.

“Fuck.” Cas whimpered but Dean couldn’t hear him any more than Cas wanted him to.  Dean turned his cheek to show Cas the earbud so Cas plucked it from his ear and dropped it onto his damp, freckled shoulder. Jesus. He swallowed hard, willing his erection away and glad it was pinned down by a layer of denim.  Dean wasn’t so fortunate. 

“Cas, hey, uh...I’m sorry. I hear you knocking. Did you need the bathroom?” He cleared his throat and thought about anything he could think of to deflate his desire.  Grandma. Dead folks. Festering wounds. There we go….

Cas’ face was flushed and words weren’t coming easy.  His fingers itched to give that towel a quick tug. “Uh, no, I just wanted you to know that it was absolutely fine if you didn’t want to go out.  I was a little concerned that maybe you felt coerced.”

“Coerced?  Aw, Cas, no.  I can’t wait to just relax and spend time with you and have my first official date.” Dean’s smirk spread into a full blown grin as Cas looked away and tried to hide his embarrassment.  Flattery wasn’t something he was used to. When Mick did it, it made him uncomfortable but when Dean does it he just craves more.

Cas blushed and looked at the floor to try to hide a grin before turning to walk back to his own room.  Keeping his hands to himself was hard but Dean had a point. They were trying to decide if this could really go somewhere.  He needed to find some self control. 

Dean almost ran back to his room and locked the door behind him. If he was gonna make it through this night, he was gonna need to give his dick some relief or it would never calm down. Dropping everything into a pile on the floor, he all but threw the towel across the room and leaned back against the door, taking his defiant cock in his hand. That first easy stroke curled his hips and stole his breath as his mind painted a picture of Castiel’s perfect mouth wrapped around him. 

* * *

Castiel lay across his bed, jeans already discarded across the back of a chair. His hand, slipped beneath his briefs, palming his cock as his hips rolled imagining the feel of humping up along Dean’s thigh. The vision of Dean half naked in the doorway...he was close enough to touch, and god he wanted to touch him.

His cock dripped and rock hard might be an understatement.  Letting go for just a second to tighten the waistband across his slicked length, leaving just the tip exposed, he began rolling his hips more intently, allowing the tightened waistband to stroke up and down his shaft. Teasing, not quite giving him what he wanted but letting the desire build. What started as a barely audible whimper, was getting louder.

* * *

Dean froze, cock in hand. He strained to hear what he thought was a soft moan coming from Cas’ room. The gaps under the doors didn’t help muffle any noise in this old house and Dean was so damn grateful. He heard it again, definitely a moan...maybe a “fuck”. His dick jumped in his hand as if screaming for attention.  If he didn’t want to spook Cas, he was gonna have to be careful. He stroked lazily as he weighed options. If he went to the bed, where he would most definitely fuck the hell out of Cas eventually...focus Dean...he wouldn’t be able to hear as well and oh god did he want to hear him. 

A stuttered groan carried across the hall urging Dean to hurry.  Grabbing a clean sock out of his bag, he stuffed it into his own mouth in case being quiet got too hard, and lay a hand against the door as he listened for any tiny noise from Cas while watching his thickness pump in and out of his fist.

* * *

Cas could hear the hardwood floor creak by Dean’s door and how it would stop every time he let a moan escape.  Dean was listening. The thought of Dean listening to him stroke was insanely hot. He added some lube and wrapped his fingers fully around his exposed rod making the sounds of his stroking so much louder. He remembered the tight press of Dean’s ass around his cock, that little ring stroking up and down his shaft, and let it drive him crazy like it had so many nights before. His moans became erratic and desperate as he chased his release with every shaky thrust of his hips. 

 

* * *

Dean let his eyes roll back and moaned loudly into the makeshift gag as his body locked up, his fist furiously taking what his body so badly wanted.  He wasn’t going to make it and if Cas said his name…

“ _ fuuuuuuuuuck…Dean… _ ” Cas’ filthy moan slid under the door like smoke, the words wrapping themselves around his cock, milking out every last drop. His legs wobbled as he went to his knees, a hand sliding down the door as he let the waves overtake him.

 

* * *

Cas was waiting on the couch, showered, dressed and very mellow, when Dean strolled into the room looking very content. The smile they shared spoke volumes but neither wanted to breathe a word of what just happened.  Just letting the shared experience lie felt right. Cas stood and crossed the room, brushing a gentle kiss onto Dean’s lips before taking his hand, a touch that still felt so necessary.

“We have all of two options in town unless you’d like to drive?  I thought we could take a walk, the weather is perfect.” Cas’ blue eyes seemed even more blue, so open and ready, confident.

“You pick, and I’m there.” Dean returned the kiss as he spoke, giving Castiel’s fingers a squeeze. His smile grew as Cas grinned mischievously before pulling Dean out the door.

“What are you up to Castiel Novak?” Dean couldn't stop himself from teasing Cas, he was obviously up to no good. Castiel laughed the first completely comfortable laugh since Dean arrived. When he turned to lock the door, Dean stroked the curve of his jaw with his finger.  “I love your laugh, Cas. Hearing it in person is amazing.”

“Come on, don’t get sappy on me!” Cas grinned as Dean rolled his eyes in exasperation. They made their way down the steps to the sidewalk in a comfortable silence strolling along like lovers might in the sleepy northeastern village.

Walking through town was tender in a way that Dean had never experienced.  Cas showed him every corner of his world, from the bagel shop where he got coffee and breakfast most days to the liquor store where he bought his first bottle of whiskey.  Dean laughed at that revelation, knowing how that all turned out made it much more of a landmark than a run down state store. He brushed an easy kiss onto Cas’ knuckles as they walked into a restaurant at the far end of town that boasted unusual cuisine on the beat up signage.  Nothing good could come of this. 

Dean shot Cas a look that challenged his decision and Cas just shook his head.  “You said I could pick and I think you’ll like this place.” His raised eyebrow dared Dean to complain and there was no way he was going to fold.  The hostess sat them toward the back before handing them menus and taking drink orders. Dean chose a lager and Cas ordered a water which gave Dean cause for alarm.  The look he gave Cas only sealed his fate. When the waitress appeared, Cas locked eyes with Dean before placing an order for cow brains and sweetbreads.

Dean’s mouth hung open in shock.  If Cas wanted to test him, he was going to pass even if it meant he had to eat any or all of that. When he spoke however, his voice came out on a squeak. “Can I get some fries with that?” The waitress smiled politely as she picked up menus before heading to the kitchen to turn in their order.   
  


“Come on Cas, is this a test or something?  I  _ know  _ you don’t eat like this all the time.” Cas was already shaking his head.

“But you  _ don’t  _ know…”

“Yes I do.” Dean was so sure of himself, his lips ticked up in a smirk.

“How would you know? You’ve never seen me eat.” The triumph on Cas’ face made Dean pause to think.  

“Shit.” Dean scrubbed at his face in defeat as Cas dissolved into the worst impersonation of an evil laugh imaginable.  “Stop. Just stop. Do not EVER do that again.” their laughter reverberated through the little restaurant. Cas had always tried to fly under the radar, not draw any attention to himself, but being with Dean made him brave. He couldn’t remember ever being so sure of who he was and what he wanted.

They talked easily about everything and nothing.  When the food came Dean did his level best to choke some down but ultimately they both ordered burgers which gave Dean a sense of satisfaction.  He celebrated his win with a slice of pie while Cas watched him eat. 

“Are you going to stare at me the whole time?” Dean asked around a bite of apple and crust while Cas watched him with a dopey grin plastered on his face.

“Mmmhmmm, probably.” The amused look on Dean’s face softened as his eyes met the ocean of blue watching him. “I hope I get to watch you for a long time, Dean.” Cas grabbed his napkin to wipe his hands before excusing himself to find the men's room. .  

Dean watched him walk away because goddamn how could he not. That man was here with  _ him  _ and he was a wonder.  His focus was pulled back to the table quickly when a thick Irish brogue spoke his name.

“Dean Winchester?” He was tall, with dark hair and the palest blue eyes Dean had ever seen in person. He instantly didn’t like him.  Dean stood defensively, arms folded across his chest. Habit, sure, but something told him this wasn’t a friendly meeting.

“Who’s asking?” The smile on the other man’s face felt off and Dean was out of touch with his surroundings and cornered. 

“Mick Davies.  I’m a...friend of Castiel’s. Calm down there, mate, there’s no need for posturing.” His cool confidence unnerved Dean and started a boiling defensiveness in his core.

“I’m not posturing, whatever the fuck that is.” Dean spat which only widened the smile on Mick’s face into an obnoxious smirk.

Castiel turned the corner from the bathroom and stopped abruptly to look at the two men locked in some kind of a testosterone filled staring contest.  This wasn’t happening. He quickly made his way to the table “Mick. What are you doing here?” Castiel side eyed Dean willing him to sit down but if the rhythmic working of Dean’s jaw muscle was any indication, he wasn’t backing down any time soon.

“I just needed to come meet the competition, Cas, that’s all. No harm intended.” Mick’s attention turned back to Dean who’s face had steeled itself into a menacing gaze.

“Oh, there’s no competition. I’m positive that your time is up.” Dean’s stance widened as he clenched his fists at his sides. Cas had the distinct impression that he needed to shut this down before it got out of hand.

“Mick, let’s not make a scene.  We already had this discussion, didn’t we?” Cas pinned Mick with a look that brooked no discussion. It wasn’t really a discussion.

“I suppose Cas, but maybe I had second thoughts. Could be that Dean wasn’t everything you thought he’d be and maybe you needed someone to show you how you deserve to be treated. This place isn’t exactly top shelf, is it?” Mick let his eyes graze over Dean as he spoke, willing him to act but Dean fought hard against his instincts and ground his teeth instead in an effort to stay still.

“That’s just it, Mick.  It is for me. This is where I’m comfortable but you don’t get that.  As a matter of fact, I don’t remember you ever trying to “get” me. I think we’re done here.” Castiel stared back at Mick in a way that made sure the conversation was closed.

“Alright Cas, alright. I’ll leave you be, but when you get tired of what Dean has to offer, don’t call me.”  Dean made a move like he was going to cock back a swing but Cas laid his open palm on Dean’s chest before looking him in the eye.  Wordlessly asking him to hang on. It just wasn’t worth it. Mick made his way toward the door, but turned to shoot Cas a meaningful look before pushing through the door.  Castiel shook his head and looked at Dean who shook with rage where he stood. 

The anxiety swirling in Dean’s chest made him angry. He had the vague feeling that he was being played and Cas had every right to want revenge for what Dean had cost him.  If he lost Cas again...

“Dean.  Dean, please look at me.”  Something fierce had broken loose in Dean.  Cas just wanted things to calm down, the tension was too much. His warm fingers curled around Dean’s wrist, prompting a loosening of his fist. Dean’s breathing slowed but the fire in his eyes hadn’t changed.

“Cas....Do you have any kind of feelings for that guy? Don’t lie to me. I need the truth here.” Cas’ eyes widened in surprise, shaking his head in disbelief, he pulled Dean so close that his lips brushed against the shell of his ear. Dean’s eyes closed on a heavy swallow as Cas’ breath delicately brushed past his ear in a soothing whisper.

“There is no one but you. No one, Dean. My focus is on you.” Pressing a kiss into Dean’s cheek.

“Here’s the check boys, who’s picking up the tab?” She winked playfully hoping to loosen a bit of the obvious tension. Cas touched his forehead to Dean’s cheek before turning is attention to her.

“I’ve got it this time but when we come back it’ll be his turn.  I’m no one's sugar daddy.” He smirked at Dean who couldn’t hold back a small smile.

“Hell yes, you are.” he mumbled with as much enthusiasm as he could muster but it fell flat.  All the wind had left his sails, the confidence he'd felt earlier had been swept clean away. Cas handed the waitress a bill far too large for their meal and told her to keep the change, he just needed to get Dean out of there so the could put this behind them.  Sliding his fingers through Dean’s he tugged him out of the restaurant and into the cool of the night air. 

As they headed home Cas searched for a way to reassure Dean. All Cas could do was speak truth. “Dean, I I didn’t know Mick would be there.  He doesn’t even live in town.” Dean nodded his understanding but gave Cas little more to work with.

The more Cas talked the more Dean wanted him to stop. He was so tense his bones felt like they would snap at any moment.  When they finally closed the door to Castiel’s apartment behind them, Dean yanked Cas into him, wrapping his arms around him until he was almost squeezing too tight. Their lips slotted together with a possessive spark as Dean slid his hand down across Cas’ back and into the back pocket of his jeans - claiming what he wanted to be his and only his.  Cas licked into his mouth softly, this new possessiveness both a turn on and a terror. 

The rush of blood through Dean’s body was like a balm, the rush of hormones had always been the thing to soothe his anger and frustration. Slowly as their bodies moved into a slow grind Cas began to give himself over to wordless signals. Dean's control was instinctive and if Cas didn't know better he'd think it was a direct result of this interaction with Mick. 

Cas wanted to give Dean everything he needed and if that meant giving him control, he would oblige. Cas’ thigh pressed in between Dean’s, the jolt of friction against his cock sent a wave of sensibility to his fevered brain. As Dean slowly regained his confidence the fire between their bodies eased to a smolder while they explored each other's mouths and let their hands roam over their clothes, tender touches to reassure, not ignite. 

With his need to control finally waning and reason returning to his senses, Dean’s teeth pulled at Cas’ lower lip before he loosened his grip, letting his hands rest at Cas’ waist, not quite ready to let go but trying to.

Cas was drunk on Dean's desire, but his eyes gave away his worry. Slipping his arms around his neck to bury his face into the crook between his own arm and rough thump of Dean’s heartbeat. “Where did you go in that head of yours, Dean?.” After a moment of silence Cas looked into  Dean’s green eyes and whispered, “Let me help you.” before brushing a hair back into place softly.

Dean stroked a shaky hand up and down Cas’ back as he spoke in hushed tones. “I’m sorry Cas. I don’t know…I’m not sure what just happened.  I got scared and then...I don’t know.” Castiel dropped a soft kiss on the gentle sandpaper of Dean’s neck, breathing him in and realizing he was strangely attracted to this commanding version of him. Leading Dean over to the couch, he sat against the overstuffed arm and motioned for him to sit.

Dean took a seat, and looked into deep blue pools so filled with worry over him, maybe it was time for Cas to know what he was getting into. Better to tell him now how much better he'd be with Mick than to fall any deeper and have him walk away because he will. They all seem to walk away. 

Cas let Dean settle against his chest so he couldn't see his face. It would be easier to admit to how he'd used other people to survive. Stealing, conning, home wrecking, all that and more made up his childhood and teenage years. When Cas asked about his father, Dean's stomach lurched, he pulled Castiel's arm around himself tighter as if looking for protection from the truth. 

“Cas, you deserve better than what I can give you. I barely take care of myself and you should have someone who can treat you the way you should be treated. I just want to know that that’s enough for you.” Dean, wiped at an errant tear as he sat up to move away from Cas but Cas wasn't having it. 

“Dean, I don't need a caretaker, I want… I need a partner. I need someone who wants to laugh with me and can hold me when I need to be held. Eventually I want someone who will love me as I am, with all my flaws and I will do the same because as much as you look at yourself and only see your past, I look at you and only see my future.” Cas bit his lip to keep from saying too much as Dean moved to be able to see Castiel’s face. 

He stared at Cas, his chest pounding, not with desire but willingness. A willingness to try. “I may not deserve you, Cas, but I know how goddamn lucky I am.” Cas looked up at him, eyes and heart full, before pulling him down onto his chest as he stroked through his hair. Dean was very quickly becoming everything he needed. 

As emotions calmed, and before Cas knew it, a far calmer Dean was asleep on his chest. Gentle snores arcing through the air. He hated to wake him but he couldn't lay here all night. With a few gentle nudges he finally roused him but only enough to get him down the hall to his room. A sleep fogged Dean held Cas’ gaze a bit too long before Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s muscled neck and pulled him in for a tender good night kiss. When he finally broke away, he brushed a thumb across Dean’s lips.

“Sleep well, Dean.” the words came soft and low as he backed across the hall.  Dean watched him move away filled with an empty ache. He wanted him to stay.

“Cas…” Dean’s eyes said everything he wanted and Cas knew but not like this. He leaned into his door frame and took a deep breath.

“Yes Dean.”

“Goodnight.” Dean scrubbed at his head before turning around and pushing the door closed without another look.  Cas closed his door and rested his head on the cool walnut. The end of day one and he wasn’t sure he ever wanted Dean to leave.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on Chapter 9 now, so I'm shooting for an upload next Friday 3/15. Hang on until then!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a run in with a fiery red head who has no problem warning him to behave and he can't help feeling that he's got something to prove to more than just Cas. A lazy day at home is in order but closeness and desire drives them to the brink of breaking their agreement.

Cas lay awake mulling over the chaos that was their first date. Dean’s reaction to being challenged by Mick was intense and he didn’t quite know what to make of it.  Dean was possessive in a way that made Cas wary but he couldn’t deny that it turned him on in ways he hadn’t imagined. He wasn’t used to being wanted and it felt really good.

He rolled onto his side and imagined curling up behind Dean’s muscled body with a pillow pressed into his chest. What he wanted was right across the hall.  All he had to do was get up and knock on the door and he knew Dean would let him in. He thought Dean would let him in….wouldn’t he? Dean was showing a tremendous amount of restraint considering the way he’d been throwing himself at him since he got here.  Cas didn’t realize how hard it would be to keep his hands to himself. Dean would give him that look, those green eyes would flash as he laughed - head thrown back as he held his chest with those hands that Cas could still feel gripping him. 

“Gah, this is stupid.” he grumbled to himself. Slipping out of bed, he threw his pillow back onto the bed and quietly moved out into the hallway past Dean’s door to make his way to the kitchen.  As he got closer, he heard the gentle clink of silverware hitting a dish. Peeking out from the hallway, he watched Dean chewing thoughtfully on a piece of the pie Charlie had left for him before he picked Dean up from the airport.  He was leaning back against the counter in a navy blue pair of knit pajama pants that were barely hanging onto his hips, one ankle crossed over the other so casually as if he wasn’t aware of how pornographic this all was.

Cas couldn’t help letting his eyes roam over every inch of Dean’s skin, freckled and smooth, his tongue slicked over his lip just thinking about touching it. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears as he considered whether or not to interrupt.

“Cas, are you going to come in here or just stare at me creepily from the hallway.” Dean smirked, eyes still straight ahead, as he drank from the bottle of water he’d pulled from the fridge.

Cas shuffled softly into the kitchen, his embarrassment evident. “I wasn’t staring, I was trying to decide whether or not to interrupt.” He crossed his arms over the worn out t-shirt he had worn to bed and leaned against the stove, mirroring Dean. Watching as Dean turned to drop his dishes in the sink and wash his hands, Cas stared openly at Dean’s back as the muscles stretched and rippled while he worked, letting his eyes linger at the waistband of the thin pants that lay gently across his ass.  He tried not to think about the last time he’d seen that ass and the way he wanted to sink his teeth into it at the moment.    
  


“Cas. Did you need something from the kitchen or were you looking for me?” Dean’s hungry eyes and the way he curled his body forward to rub at the back of his neck said everything he wanted to say.  He knew exactly why Cas was out of bed and he knew his half naked body was making things even harder. He couldn’t help but want to make it difficult. Turning Cas on made his blood surge and his breath quicken, being this close in the quiet of the night while he looked so deliciously rumpled was some kind of hellish torture.  Cas opened his mouth to speak but nothing would come out. A frustrated groan escaped Dean’s lips before he lunged toward Cas like a cat after it’s prey.

Cas’ moan into Dean’s mouth as their lips met was filthy and spoke of the need he had been trying and failing to suppress.  His arms wrapped up around Dean’s neck as warm hands caressed the skin of his back under his shirt. The roughness of Dean’s fingers was delicious and felt like power, a power he needed.  That power roamed over his body like hot waves, sliding under his shorts to cup and grip him as he slipped his tongue into Dean’s mouth inviting him to play. Begging him to play. He rolled his hips into Dean’s...tempting, teasing, wordlessly asking.

Dean pinned Cas’ writhing body against his own and broke the kiss on a whimper. He knew what Cas wanted. He wanted it too. Relief. The touch of the other. A promise of more to come but it was too soon. Cas sucked kisses onto Dean’s neck, hungry, greedy little kisses, while Dean fought for words to ask him to stop though he didn’t really want him to.

“Cas” his name came out like breathless caress. “Cas, baby please. We need to stop.” A little stronger that time but not before Cas’ tongue lathed over his pebbled nipple. “Fuck, Cas, no.” Gripping him tightly by the shoulders, Dean took a step back and waited for Cas to focus on him.  Both of their cocks were straining against their confines.

“Cas, look at me.” he growled. Those blue eyes that stole his heart all those months ago finally caught his own but the hunger he saw there made him doubt his resolve. He shook his head, “Cas we have to stop.  We can’t ruin this now, I just got here.” Disappointment etched into Castiel’s features. “ I’m sorry, I know I started it, you just….you came out here in that damn tee shirt and my brain went straight to my dick.”  

Cas pinned him with a pained look. “You don’t get to blame that on me, Mr. Low Slung Pajama Pants. I just needed a drink of water to get your grabby hands from last night out of my head because  _ I  _ still remember you grabbing my backside.” Cas smirked back at the embarrassment that crossed Dean’s face but resigned himself to the fact that Dean was right. “Ok, fine, you’re right. We’re just acting like a couple of horny teenagers and I’m too damn old for that even if the waiting is going to kill me.” Cas huffed his frustration as Dean lifted a brow in amusement.

“Well, sir, it’s time for bed.  We’ll discuss your potty mouth in the morning.” Dean grabbed at Cas’ shoulders and spun him toward the hall. “And you can just go first so that you aren’t forced to look at this hot bod I’ve got going on.” Dean chuckled while Cas whined and fussed at being pushed down the hallway toward his room.  Before Dean could get a decent grip, Cas spun and stole one more playful kiss from Dean’s soft lips. When he pulled away Dean couldn’t help a smile as his fingers traced along his tender lower lip. He winked at the smug hipster heading into his room. “G’nite my angel.” the words softly spoken, not intentionally but the tenderness of Cas’ smile made the slip worth it.

“G’nite you.” Cas was inside his room before Dean could breathe. His absence was immediately palpable.  The realization that he was already so far gone on Cas was scary, and that same fear that Cas may leave like everyone else was persistent.  He shoved it away and focused on the smell of Cas that was all over his skin before turning in for the night. Curling under the covers imagining being wrapped in Castiel’s embrace made it all too easy to find peace.

* * *

Monday dawned early and Dean lay in bed awake when the sun finally came up.  Going back to sleep wasn’t an option and if the stillness in the apartment was any indication, Cas was still asleep. He slipped into his clothes, cracking the door carefully to avoid making any noise. Butterflies tumbled in his gut as he slipped into his shoes and grabbed his jacket before scribbling a note onto a piece of paper on the counter.

“Ran out for something.  Be back soon, Dean” 

Grabbing Cas’ keys off the hook on the wall, he quietly slipped out the door and locked it behind him before hurrying down the stairs.  The night before when they’d walked through town, Cas had shown him the bagel shop where he picked up breakfast every morning. Dean was hoping that whomever was working would know what Cas usually ordered.

The bell jingled as the door opened, and Dean stepped into the warm yeasty smell of fresh bread. A fiery redhead stood behind the counter in an apron, helping another customer with their order. She was cheerful and the other customers in the shop seemed to know and like her. When the elderly woman she was helping stepped away from the counter, Dean held the door open for her before stepping up to the counter and a pointed gaze.

“You don’t look familiar, are you new here?” Charlie’s green eyes looked him over curiously.

“I’m actually looking to order for Castiel Novak.  You wouldn’t happen to know what he normally gets, would you?” Dean gave her his best smile but the way her face fell when he spoke made any hope sink.

“Castiel...You’re Dean?” Her eyes clouded, but only briefly before she painted on a smile and tried to fake her way through being friendly. “How nice to meet you, I’m Charlie.  I’m sure Cas has told you about me.” She stretched her arm across the counter as Dean’s face paled. He shook her hand and tried not to think about how unhappy she seemed to meet him.

“He has, yes. It’s nice to meet you too.  I just wanted to do something nice for him this morning since he’s been so good to me. Can you help a guy out and tell me what he might want?”  Dean’s eyes pleaded and ultimately Charlie wanted Cas to be happy so she bagged up two of Cas’ favorite blueberry bagels and two cups of black coffee. 

“It’s on the house, Dean. Just be good to my Cas, deal?” Charlie’s eyes flashed as she spoke, it wasn’t a request and Dean knew it.  He nervously cleared his throat and took the bag from her before nodding his agreement as he stepped toward the door, suddenly desperate to escape.

“I promise.” He smiled as he pushed the door open with his hip and made his way back out onto the sidewalk.  Proving himself to Cas’ friends might be harder than he thought. Charlie was definitely skeptical but he knew he would do his damndest to make Cas happy. He just hoped his damndest was enough.

* * *

Cas heard the door click shut as Dean returned.  Sleepily he wondered where Dean had been but couldn’t will his exhausted limbs to move. After he’d returned to bed last night, sleep was elusive. He couldn’t stop picturing all the ways their bodies could have been entwined and regretting pushing the envelope when he knew they were trying to take it slow. Who’s idea was that anyway?? 

The soft tap at his bedroom door was enough to shake the sleep from his foggy mind. The door popped open and a drink carrier with two cups of coffee pushed through the small gap.  “I brought a gift…” Dean’s voice was soft and warm, Cas just wanted to be wrapped in it.

“Come in, but only if you have a bagel too.  I recognize those cups.” Cas grinned when he realized that Dean had picked up on his morning routine when they were walking to dinner the previous night. It was a sweet gesture.

“As if I’d only bring you coffee.  What kind of potential boyfriend would I be?”  Dean crossed to the bed and settled himself on it facing Cas, while still leaving space..  Cas looked good enough to eat, bare chested and sleep mussed hair, he looked like sex and Dean had to fight the urge to pounce.  He passed him a coffee instead and a Blueberry bagel smeared with cream cheese. “Charlie said that’s how you liked it so if it’s wrong, it’s not my fault.” Dean waited for Cas’ reaction and wasn’t disappointed.  The mention of her name stopped his movement completely with the cup midway to his lips.

“You met Charlie?” His voice held a nervous wobble, and given Charlie’s admonition to treat him right, Dean had kind of expected it.

“Yep, and she threatened my life if I hurt you so I’m going to have to watch myself.” Dean tried to brush it off as amusement but Cas picked up on his tone immediately.

“She wasn’t rude to you, was she?  She can be kind of...overzealous.” If she made Dean feel unwelcome, he was going to have to find a way to make it up to him.  This was NOT how he planned to bring them together.

“No, but I could tell she was concerned. What did you tell her exactly?” Dean asked but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He fiddled with his bagel while Cas chewed thoughtfully, brows creased with concern.

“I mean, I met her pretty quickly after I moved here and I was still kind of a mess then. She was the first person I came out to, actually and with that came some background about...what happened between us.” Cas searched Dean’s face as he spoke wanting to be honest but not wanting to hurt him.

“I get it. I just have to show her that I’m going to treat you right.  That won’t be hard because I was planning on it anyway.” He tried to show confidence but his eyes carried his worry. Charlie was going to be tough and he knew it.  Cas returned Dean’s smile as he finished up his bagel.

“Same, Dean. You aren’t the only one here wanting to prove something, it goes both ways.” Dean nodded. He already knew how much he felt for Cas, but he wasn’t sure if it was completely reciprocated. The physical was there, but how far did the emotional connection run?

“Ok, now that we’ve gotten that of the way, what do you want to do today?” Changing the subject felt like the right thing to do, things were getting heavy and it was barely breakfast.

“How do you feel about staying in? I thought we could grocery shop a bit and then hang out and watch movies, talk, cook, those kinds of things. I’d like to get to know more about what makes Dean Winchester tick.” Cas blue eyes flashed mischievously and Dean couldn’t hold back a chuckle.

“Ok, sounds good as long as you’re not serving brains and sweet...whatevers.  That was TERRIBLE.” Cas’ laugh filled the room and Dean reveled in it. If he could make Cas laugh like that every day he didn’t think he’d need anything else.

“Alright, fair enough.  I’ll get ready and we can head out, will that work for you?” Dean nodded his agreement but stayed put on the bed, brow lifted in challenge. Cas smirked, knowing he was trying to hang around to watch him get ready. “OUT Winchester.  I’m not decent under this blanket and we both know you can’t keep your hands to yourself.” It was Dean’s turn to laugh.

“Whoa now, I’m not the one creeping around in the dark in the middle of the night trying to play grab ass.” Cas feigned shock and tossed his bagel wrapper at Dean’s backside as he headed for the door.  “I’ll park on the couch while I wait for you, sweetheart. Hurry it up.” He winked before shutting the door on Cas’ eye roll. 

* * *

Dean lounged on the couch and waited while Cas got ready, thinking about what he would do if he decided to stay in town beyond this week.  He couldn’t expect to stay with Cas and he’d need a job before he could find a place to stay. Pulling out his phone he started scrolling through the want ads.  Maybe things would go south sometime between now and Sunday but he could at least put some feelers out. There were lots of retail jobs but he knew those weren’t right for him.  His thumb hovered over the perfect opportunity.

Mechanic needed.

Decent hours for good work.

Minimum Wage to start.

Ready to fill immediately.

Harvell Auto Body

603-859-7666

Ask for Ellen

 

“What’re you up to?  That’s a pretty serious look.” Cas was shouldered into the doorway watching him.  Hair wet and tousled, tee-shirt, jeans, and bare feet looking every bit the beauty he was.  Dean stared for a second before smiling nervously as he saved the link to look at later.

“Ah, nothing really.  Just checking messages. Are you ready?” Cas didn’t look like he quite believed him but he let it drop as he slipped on his socks and shoes and grabbed his keys and wallet.

“Yep, let’s go.” Dean met him at the door for a gentle kiss, nuzzling into his neck to whisper about how good he smelled. Cas chuckled before pushing Dean away playfully. “Ok, ok...I’m already struggling here, let’s go before I drag you into the bedroom.”

Dean smirked as he opened the door.  “Doesn’t sound so terrible to me but if you insist.” He ushered Cas through and followed him out to the sidewalk. The little grocery was just around the corner so it was a quick trip.

They made their way through the aisles pretty quickly, chatting about little unimportant topics and things they liked to eat. Cas picked out a bottle of wine, and Dean showed Cas how to pick ripe melons. Dean shot Cas a look as he picked up some feta for a watermelon salad.  Laughing and bantering back and forth like a couple that had been together for ages. When they got to the check out, the girl that rang up their order wanted to know how long they’d been together. Dean blushed and scratched at his scruffy jaw as Cas smiled that gummy smile at him before turning to the cashier, “Feels like ages, but only a few days.” She grinned back at him, his joy was contagious.

They had their hands full for the walk home, but that didn’t stop them from stealing glances at each other while they walked and bumping shoulders playfully while they joked about meaningless things. They put the groceries away as soon as they returned.

“Are you always so clean?” Dean sat on the far side of the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, giving a look that screamed judgement - even if he only half meant it.

“I guess so, I hadn’t thought about it.  Are you not?” Cas looked worried and Dean couldn’t help a laugh at his expense.

“Eh, I’m not a slob but if there’s no reason to tidy up, I don’t think about it I guess. I don’t hate it though so don’t worry, I would clean up after myself….for you I mean.  If you wanted. I mean, assuming you wanted...shit. Can we just forget I said all that?” Dean pinched at his nose in frustration but Cas wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easy.

“Are you saying you like being here with me, Dean? Because it sounds like that’s what you’re saying.” Cas grinned as he pulled Deans fingers to his lips for a quick peck.

Dean’s lopsided smile warmed his heart.  He knew the answer already, he just wanted to hear Dean say it. “Yeah, ok, but it’s a bit soon.  We’re still in the honeymoon phase. At some point I’m going to be really done with your shit, right? Isn’t that how it works?” 

Cas let out a belly laugh that had Dean grinning.  “Does it HAVE to be that way? I’d rather you weren’t ‘sick of my shit’ any time soon.” 

Dean shrugged his concession before turning to the tv, “Let’s check out something on TV and see how much we have in common, I’m guessing it’s not much. Do you even watch rated R movies?” Dean grinned at his little dig. 

Cas glared his response, “Just pick a movie, tough guy…” but couldn’t stop a chuckle. 

“True Grit!  I think you’ll like that one.  It’s a western. John Wayne is amazing, the best cowboy there was. Have you seen it?” Dean looked so hopeful, Cas had no choice but to go for it. 

“Depends, do we get to snuggle?” Cas lifted a brow hopefully as a relieved Dean made a show of thinking it over. 

“Get over here.” Dean’s arm lifted over the back of the couch as Cas slid alongside his chest, nestling his head under his chin. The movie played, but he wasn’t paying attention, he was too busy watching the way his fingertips disappeared into the black and silver strands of Cas’ hair as he combed through. They weren’t an hour into the movie before they were both asleep, warm and more content than either had been in years.

Dean woke up to a blank television screen, Cas’ hand resting under his shirt on the soft hairs below his belly button, and his own overeager cock pressing hard against his fly. His hips curled slightly before he could stop himself as Cas’ finger began a slow circle through those soft curls.  Cas had obviously been awake for a while, his muscled hips rolled into the couch in a slow rhythm. He stared as Cas’ muscles worked. Dean was all out of strength and just couldn’t take much more, he slid his hand down Cas’ back and palmed a handful of his backside, squeezing as he pressed Cas’ hips into the couch again.

Castiel whimpered, his breath a whisper over Dean’s sensitive skin, a soft groan pushed past Dean’s lips in response. Cas took it as a sign that he could keep going, and allowed the tip of his finger to dip beneath the waistband of Dean’s jeans.  Biting in to his lip firmly, Dean stifled a groan as his eyes closed against all the ways he wanted to take Cas.

He let his middle finger dip into the cleft of Cas’ ass as his palm slid over the worn denim between he and Castiel’s skin. A firm squeeze was the only indication that he was losing control until he growled low.  “Cas, I can only resist so much.”

Cas’ lips drug along Dean’s stomach, sucking bruises into his skin as Dean sucked air in between his teeth and let his hips roll up against nothing. He looked desperate, but couldn’t help himself any longer.  The teasing was relentless as Cas’ fingers stroked over his fly, first the tips, then the scratching of his nails. Slack jawed and keening, Dean’s fingers dipped over Cas’ denim covered taint, stroking his own gentle tease. 

Needing more, Cas clamored off the couch and straddled Dean’s lap, claiming his lips in a hungry kiss.  Their hips ground together in a filthy dance, begging and taking from each other as fingers pulled at hair and squeezed rounded cheeks.

Dean’s lips broke away first as he licked over Cas’ neck to his collarbone, peeking out of the neckhole of his overstretched shirt. Cas panted as he humped against Dean’s covered hardness. “Dean, I know what we said, but I need you. Please.”

It was all Dean needed. He yanked Cas’ shirt over his head and then wrapping his arms around him, he lifted and rolled them over onto the couch. Hips rolling onto Cas’ erection, he leaned up to rid himself of his own shirt before reclaiming the lips he’d dreamt about for so many months. “You taste so damn good, Cas.” Cas licked into his mouth in response, even as Dean pulled away to kiss down over Cas’ chest. His tongue toyed with nipples that were pebbled tightly, dragging whimpers from deep inside Castiel. His fingers continued to pinch and pull at them even as his lips continued their jagged path toward freeing his cock.  

Cas fingers pulled at Dean’s hair while he pushed gently, so eager for his hot mouth and wet kisses.  Dean’s fingers worked fast, unbuttoning Cas’ pants. When he’d pushed them just far enough, Cas’ cock jumped up at Dean. Cas laughed nervously as Dean grinned before closing his fingers around the base. He locked eyes with his angel before licking softly over the tip. Swirling and licking gentle strokes up and down his shaft as Cas begged, his hands fisting into the soft cushions of the couch. Dean pinned his hips down and continued to tease out drops of slickness before letting his head bob a few times shallowly over his cock.   

Cas moaned his name in frustration pushing Dean over the edge of his own desire, he popped the button of his jeans and let down his fly, wigging out of his own confines so he could fist his cock before swallowing Cas down. 

“God Dean, yesss...” Cas groaned as he thrust into Dean’s mouth. Humming his approval all along Cas’ shaft, Dean used his free hand to stroke over Castiel’s warm sack. Fisting his own cock in rhythm with the bobs of his head, Dean let his moans rattle into Castiel’s core.  Dipping his thumb into the dribble collecting on Cas’ balls, he slipped it between Cas’ cheeks and stroked against the tight pucker he found there. Cas hissed and thrust his hips up hard in surprise, pressing his tip into Dean’s throat before releasing his load with a loud groan.

“Hnnnnnggg... _DEAN_... _nnngoddd_ …” Dean continued to draw from him until there was nothing left and Cas was pulling his head away with a chuckle. “Ok, OK...OK….DEAN….god stop.” He grinned down at Dean before realizing Dean was still stroking his own cock, red and dripping   The grin went from playful to hungry in a flash as he moved to his knees in front of Dean on the floor. Dean leaned back, ass to heels, his hands behind him propping his body up so he could watch as Cas’ tongue swirled over his swollen tip.

“Cas...I need… _ please _ ...” the soft pleas had Cas wanting to give him anything he wanted.  Digging his fingers into Dean’s hips he took his length deep into his mouth, the tip pushing into his throat over and over until Dean finally took the hint. His fingers tangled into Castiel’s hair and pulled as he fucked up over and over again, chasing his release as Cas’ fingers stroked behind his balls. Dean jerked his hips pressing his cock deep into Cas’ mouth with a shout as he found his release. Finally.   _Finally_ …

Cas licked over his lip as he pulled Dean up onto the couch with him, both of them with pants down around one ankle or another, they fit together like puzzle pieces.  Dean lay on top of Cas, head on his chest listening to his heart slow, Cas’ cock softening, pressed between his belly and Dean’s chest. Cas’ sighed contentedly as Dean fought for his breath.

“Cas, that was...amazing. I swear I had no intention of breaking our deal.” Cas’ chuckle reverberated in his chest beneath Dean’s ear.

“I know, Dean, I knew what I was doing when I started playing with those irresistible curls. Maybe if we stop denying ourselves what we obviously crave, we can relax and have some real conversation.”  Dean’s fingers stroked along Castiel’s outer thigh mindlessly, as he spoke. Cas was probably right, they had been so distracted that they weren’t really learning anything about each other.

“I guess you’re right, I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be right now than on this couch with you.” Cas smiled at the gentleness of Dean’s tone. That warm flutter was starting in his chest again, the one only Dean could bring out. He wondered at what it meant but knew it was more than a physical attraction.

“Are you hungry?” Cas asked lazily with no intention of getting up.

“Does that mean you’re making sandwiches?” Dean sounded so hopeful that Cas laughed at the ridiculousness of it.

“Hell no, Dean. I thought you were in charge of lunch! I’m just going to lay here and be blissed out for a while.” Dean chuckled before tickling Cas’ sides with his fingers, almost getting him kneed in the face.  He jumped back as Cas yelled threats and swung mercilessly at him. 

“Come on Cas, before you kill me. I guess we’re fixing sandwiches together.” Dean pulled up his jeans before grabbing Castiel’s hand to help him off the couch.  Cas left his jeans where they lay and made due with his boxer shorts before pulling on his tee shirt. 

The two of them milled around the kitchen smoothly like they’d done it a million times before, joking and jostling for condiments before settling again on the couch with the bottle of wine. Dean wasn’t a fan but Cas thoroughly enjoyed it, and Dean thoroughly enjoyed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plan is to cover a day of the week per chapter until their week is over and then...what will happen?? Chapter ten (Tuesday) will be hot off the presses next Friday, March 22nd! Stay tuned!


	10. Chapter 10

The distant sound of Led Zeppelin rouses Dean from a heavy sleep.  He and Cas had watched movies and made out like a couple of teenagers until the wee hours of the morning and his neck and chest had the love bites to prove it. Grabbing his phone he stared at the unfamiliar number with a local area code.  Who could be calling him from here? Reluctantly he answered,“Hello?” with the thick sound of sleep in his voice.

“Ah, a late sleeper huh?  That’s already a strike against ya.” the female voice on the line laughed.

“Who is this?” Dean finally sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as his mind whirred.

“This is Ellen from Harvelle’s Garage. I want you to come in to show us what you’ve got if you can drag yourself out of bed.” He didn’t need any other reason to get up.

“Yeah, sure.  I can be down there in 30 if that’ll work.” He tried not to sound overeager but this was his chance to stay in Hampstead and given the way things are going with Cas, he definitely wanted to.

“Yep, just bring something to work on.  We don’t have anything I’d trust you on here at the moment. Bye now.” The call ended before Dean could think. Where the hell was he going to get something to work on?  He scrubbed over his face with his hands while he thought about what he was going to tell Cas. He hadn’t thought this far ahead when he left the voicemail for Ellen last night.

He pulled an old t-shirt over his head and roughed up his hair before an idea hit him. Cas’ car needed work, he could get Cas’ repairs done for free while he interviewed. There was one problem, what would he tell Cas?  He didn’t want him to freak out and think that he was trying to move in. That’d scare him away for sure. He needed to be smooth about this, no lying, just ….massaging the truth.

He pulled his worn out jeans and socks on before heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth.  Cas was standing sleepily in the hallway in a t-shirt and boxer briefs like he was lost when Dean opened the door.

Dean leaned back against the door jamb and let his eyes roam over Cas. “Good morning sunshine.  How are we feeling?”

Cas glared playfully, “Hung over. I’m thinking that bottle of wine was a bit much for a lightweight.” In an instant his face brightened, “Heading out for bagels?”

Dean thought for just a second about just telling Cas the truth but the instinct to protect what he wanted took over. “Nope, actually I’m going to work on your car. Ellen Harvelle is going to let me use her garage and I’m not taking no for an answer so wipe that look off your face.” Dean’s stomach flipped when Cas started shaking his head. Suddenly he wasn’t so sure he was making the right decision.

“Alright Dean, but you have to let me bring you lunch.  Deal?” Cas’ defeated look tugged at Dean’s guilty heart. Pulling Cas into his arms he kissed along his jaw before whispering “deal” into his ear.

Cas slid his arms tight around Dean’s waist and let his hands travel under his shirt onto his back, the warm skin seeming to heat his whole body from the inside out. He groaned loudly and slumped as the object of his affection peeled away from him to kiss him softly.

“I’ll be back before you know it. Maybe you won’t even have to bring me lunch.” Dean winked at Cas before trotting down the hall to grab a banana and the keys.  Before Cas knew it, Dean was out the door leaving him feeling domestic and content. His “boyfriend” was working on his car. Could he call him a boyfriend? It didn’t matter, it just felt really good to be taken care of.

* * *

Dean rang the bell at the service desk when he arrived, looking for Ellen, only Ellen wasn’t the one who greeted him.  A tall grizzly bear of a man poked his head out from the office and waved a grease stained hand at him.

“You Dean?” The Baton Rouge in his voice couldn’t be any thicker. Dean nodded and tried to maintain eye contact but staring into the icy blue was blinding. A grin split the other man’s bearded face as he nearly shouted, “Fresh meat, ‘cher!”

A small blonde woman came in from what looked to be the door to the garage, wiping her hands on a rag. “Hey there.  You must be Dean, I’m Jo. You spoke to my mother a little while ago but she had to step out so she asked me to get you started. Benny over there is going to watch you.  You ready to go?” Dean smiled as she crossed her arms and tried to look fierce. For someone so small, she didn’t look like someone you wanted to mess with.

“Yeah...yeah I’m ready. Should I just pull the car in the garage or did you want me to do it somewhere out of the way?” Jo started to speak but Benny cut in.

“Bring her on in, don’t be shy.” He winked at Dean as he stepped through the door into the garage. Dean watched him leave and wondered how much harassment he was gonna have to take.

Jo rolled her green eyes and huffed a laugh. “Don’t let Benny get to you. He’s just a big teddy bear, if you like that sort of thing.” She smirked but turned to look out the window at the car Dean brought in.  “Hey, is that Castiel Novak’s car?”

Dean blushed slightly and shifted nervously on his feet. “Yeah, we’re uh...we’re dating so I offered to work on it for him. He doesn’t know I’m interviewing and I’d like to keep it that way but he knows I’m here with the car.” She looked suspicious but didn’t press him further.

“Hmm. Ok, then, bring her on in.” She watched Dean head out the door, trying to imagine sweet Castiel with this grease monkey.  Something seemed off. Pulling out her phone she called Ellen to fill her in.

* * *

Charlie was still curled up in bed when Ellen called. Her phone ringing almost didn’t wake her.

“Hello?”

“Jesus, doesn’t anyone get up at a normal hour in this town?” Ellen’s disapproval was typical.  Charlie didn’t even flinch.

“I’m off today, Ellen, so I was _trying_ to sleep in. What’s so important that you had to get me out of bed?” Charlie stretched and yawned in an effort to work the sleep out of her body.

“Do you know anything about this Dean Winchester that says he’s dating Castiel?  I let him come in for an interview today and he showed up with Cas’ car. Jo just called from the shop.” A sick feeling curled in the pit of Charlie’s stomach.

“Did you say for an interview? Like moving to town - interview?” Charlie’s voice pitched higher with each sentence.  That sick feeling grew as she considered the possibilities. “What are you going to do? Are you going to hire him?”

“I don’t know Charlie, that’s why I’m calling you.  Benny’s watching him work now so I’ll know if he knows his stuff in a bit but is there anything I should know about this guy?” Ellen was coming to her in good faith but Charlie wasn’t sure what to do.  Cas would kill her if she betrayed him by hurting Dean and what if this was what Cas wanted.

“Oh, and Charlie, one more thing.  He said he didn’t want Cas to know we were interviewing him.  Does that seem odd to you?” Charlie groaned.

“Look, I don’t like this guy.  He’s the reason Cas is here and that’s great but he’s not good enough for Cas and now he’s _lying_ too?  Something isn’t right.  I’ll call Cas and see if I can get a feel for what’s going on.” Charlie was already half dressed when she ended the call with Ellen and dialed Cas’ number.

* * *

Benny had been watching Dean run a diagnostic, degrease the engine, replace the spark plugs and air filter, change the brake pads and rotors and rotate the tires. It was all he could really do since Cas’ primary issue was the spark plugs.  Dean leaned against the hood as he wiped his hands and looked over at Benny. “You good or do you need to see more?”

Benny’s blue eyes crinkled as Dean fumbled with his rag. “Nah, I’m good.  Obviously you know what you’re doing. If Ellen is as smart as I think she is, she’ll have you working here tomorrow.” Almost immediately a voice came from the open garage door.

“Almost done, Dean?” Cas puffed his chest out just a shade and tried to look imposing, the result was comical.  Dean’s green eyes showed nothing but relief as he smiled at Cas.

“Hey Cas…” Benny walked over to shake Cas’ hand and grab the rag from Dean.  “Everything looks good there, go on and go. I’ll let Ellen know.”

“Thanks Benny, tell Ellen to give me a call.” Dean held the car door open for Cas. “Your ride awaits, angel.”

Cas couldn’t get enough of Dean’s smell, and the way he looked covered in dirt and grease. One finger was cracked and another scratched, his shirt was all but ruined but goddamn he looked good.  Cas reached over and just grazed the shell of Dean’s ear with his finger which had the delicious effect of making Dean growl low.

“What are you up to over there…” Dean couldn’t look at Cas, he was too much of a responsible driver, but Cas looked at every inch of Dean. He breathed in as much as he could before they pulled into the parking lot.  Dean turned to find himself face to face with lust hungry Cas. “Damn Cas. I didn’t know you were so turned on by motor oil.” He couldn’t help the smirk of control that curled his lip sinfully.

“Neither did I.” Cas admitted as he leaned in to lick at the seam of Dean’s smug lips but Dean put a hand up to stop him.

“Oh no, no.  Inside now.” When Cas began to protest Dean growled, “Now angel…” Obedience was the only response. Dean laid a hard slap on his denim clad ass as Cas climbed out of the car.

“OW! A little warning!” Cas yelped as Dean chuckled. Cas rubbed the ache in his backside while they made their way upstairs. Dean was feeling cocky, Cas’ obvious affinity for his filthy state made him feel sexy and in control. His eyes followed every movement of Castiel’s thick thighs as they climbed the stairs, thinking of how he wanted to dig his fingers into them, and nip at the seam between his ass and his leg. A soft groan escaped his lips as he passed Cas to unlock the door.

Cas followed him inside and pushed the door closed, sorry to see Dean heading for the shower already. Just before Dean stepped through the bathroom door from the hallway, he called out to Cas.

“I need a shower Cas... are you coming?” The look on Dean’s face brooked no discussion. His green eyes were bright with power and his feet were planted wide with control. It took everything in Cas not to crumble where he stood and beg to be taken.

Dean pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor as Cas quickly made his way to him. The soft denim of his jeans was work worn and stained in places, open at the knee from years of use. Cas drug a finger over his chest and down to his belly button, reveling in the heat coming off of Dean’s skin. The musk lived in the air from the work his body had been doing all day.  Work Dean was doing for _him_...it was overwhelming.

Standing in the bathroom doorway toeing off his boots and socks, Dean kicked them aside into the hall and just popped the button on his jeans as Cas’ eyes watched his fingers work. His own jeans were beginning to bulge, just looking at Dean was driving him mad. Dean palmed over Cas zipper, letting his fingers tease at his full sack. Dean stepped up close, letting his breath wash over Castiel's ear.

“You like it when I tease you, don’t you Angel…” Dean’s softly spoken words lit Cas’ need up like a bonfire. Cas opened his mouth but could only nod.  Dean shook his head. “Talk to me Cas. I want you to tell me what you like.”

Cas trembled as the words formed on his lips. “Touch me, Dean...please.” Dean smiled as he brushed an finger along Cas’ scruffed jaw. His fingers pressed gently, guiding Cas to lift his arms before Dean pull Cas' shirt up over his head. Dean looked over the tanned chest he’d dozed on the night before. Arms still over his head, Cas watched as Dean ran his tongue over each nipple before blowing a whisper soft breath onto the wet skin to watch them pebble. Cas whimpered his approval before Dean’s hot skin was against his own, his tongue licking into Cas’ mouth as his hands slid down over his back, claiming the curve of his ass with grease stained hands.

Dean’s lips broke away to nip at Cas’ earlobe, a whispered “mine” escaping his lips. Cas’ arms dropped onto Dean’s shoulders as his head tilted back to expose the column of his neck to Dean’s hungry lips. Giving Dean whatever he wanted was the only thing he needed in this moment.

“Take whatever you want, it’s yours.” Cas was delirious with need by the time Dean’s teeth grazed along his shoulder, his fingers popping the button on Cas’ jeans - opening them just enough for him to slide his hand inside without touching Cas’ hardness. Merely a tease as his hand hovered between denim and soft cotton.

Spreading his legs further to invite the touch he craved, Cas dug his fingers into Dean’s shoulder muscles as he tried desperately not to hump into Dean’s touch.

“Tell me you want it Cas. Tell me how badly you want me to touch your cock.” Dean’s voice seemed to drop even lower with the weight of his desire. Cas trembled as his mouth went dry.

“Please Dean…” As soon as the words left his lips, Dean’s work rough hand was trailing along his length over the thin cotton of his briefs. The touch was almost enough but not quite, Cas needed more. His hips pushed forward against Dean’s hand, searching for more friction. Dean pulled his hands from Cas’ pants and shoved them to the floor, landing a firm swat on Cas’ rounded ass. Cas bit into his lower lip to stifle a whine, shocked at how much he liked the sting.

“No, Cas. I set the pace. I make the rules today. That swat is the extent of the pain.  The rest is pleasure. Understood?” Cas looked into the bright green of Dean’s eyes, wanting to drown in their depths.  Dean needed this and Cas desperately wanted to let Dean take control. He nodded his agreement as Dean rubbed a soothing touch over Cas’ ass. “Good. Now finish stripping and start the shower, please.”  Cas grinned as he peeled off his straining briefs and socks before tossing them aside. Brushing his ass against Dean’s denim clad crotch as he moved past, Cas enjoyed Dean watching his body move as he prepared the shower and pulled towels out from under the sink. As Castiel bent to retrieve the towels, Dean ran a finger over the split of his ass.

“I want to be inside you, angel Just a finger, maybe two...we’ll go slow. Is that ok with you?” Dean knew that Cas had never been penetrated so he wasn’t sure how he would answer.  Any sign that he didn’t want it would mean it didn’t happen. Dean had experienced unwanted penetration before, he could never do that to Cas.

Cas turned slowly as the steam rolled out of the shower.  His eyes caught Dean’s with a look of total desire. He crossed the room and wrapped Dean in his arms and pressed a kiss to his lips before nodding his approval. Dean responded with a groan before leading Cas backward toward the shower.  When Cas collided with the shower door with a clang, Dean dropped to his knees in front of him, licking a wet stripe up the throbbing shaft of his lovers cock. Wrapping his fingers around the shaft as Cas muttered pleas and overtures, Dean took each weighted ball into his mouth as his fingers stroked gently over the soft skin behind them.

Just as Cas started to come unglued Dean stopped and got to his feet.  Cas’ hips continued to thrust forward of their own volition as Dean pushed past him into the shower. Cas stared into the empty bathroom as if in shock. He’d been so close.

“Are you coming in here, Cas or am I showering alone?” Dean’s voice carried over the pounding of the shower spray.  Cas was in the shower in an instant as Dean’s muscled body rippled with the effort of wetting his hair. He let the hot water pour over his body as Cas watched. Dean’s cock practically bounced, erect and twitching as Dean’s hands worked the shampoo into a lather on his head. Castiel went to his knees unbidden, preparing to swallow him down before Dean stopped him with a single finger.

“Cas, you have to ask.  Tell me what you want.” He rolled his hips in punctuation while Cas tried to make the words come.

“I need your cock in my mouth.” Cas big blue eyes gazed up at Dean from a position of submission and it made Dean’s blood boil. It wasn’t often he desired dominance but Cas was a beautiful sub. So obedient, so patient. Those years in submission to the lord had served him well.

Dean took his shaft in hand and stroked the tip of his cock along Castiel’s lips. Cas’ tongue slipped out to lap at his slit before Dean slowly pushed his length into Cas’ waiting mouth. No further invitation was needed as Cas gripped Dean’s ass and swallowed his length.  Dean gripped the top of the shower, knees weak from the sensation, and let the water cascade over his head. Cas poured everything he had into pleasing Dean. His tongue worked along the underside of Dean’s shaft as his throat opened and closed around the tip, it’s sensitivity driving Dean ever closer to the edge.

“Fuck, Cas...you’re gonna make me…” the words barely made it out of Dean’s mouth before he was rolling over the edge of his climax, his hips thrusting into Cas’ mouth over and over. His fingers found their way into Cas’ wet hair as he moaned, “Angel...my angel…”

Cas stood and wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, pressing tender kisses into Dean’s face and lips as he came down from his release. Reaching to the side, Dean pumped soap into his hands and began to lather up Cas’ back, kissing down his chest as he knelt down, his hands rubbed the lather onto the backs of Cas' thighs and over his ass. He nosed into the crook of Cas hip, teasingly lapping at the tender skin as Cas’ cock stroked against his cheek. When Castiel relaxed, he slid a soapy finger between his cheeks.  Castiel tensed before relaxing again with a moan as Dean’s finger tip stroked in a circle around his tight hole. Not pushing, just stroking. Teasing. Letting Cas get used to the sensation. He kissed and sucked the soft skin next to his cock, loving the way it jerked and begged for attention.

“Fuck…” The profanity coming from Cas almost had Dean’s cock filling again but he wanted to do this right.

“Not yet, Cas. I know it feels good but not yet.” Dean nipped at his hip and chuckled as Cas’ hips bucked in response.

“Fuck, Dean….please. I need it.” Dean watched as desperation played across Cas’ features.  He was somewhere else in his head, hips bucking as he tried to press into Dean’s finger. He stood as his finger slipped from between Cas cheeks.

“Not yet. Wash me, angel, and then I’ll take you to bed. I’m not done playing with that beautiful ass.” Dean turned his back to Cas, as Cas reached for the bottle of shower gel. His hands ran all over Dean’s freckled skin, careful to stroke gently, slowly bringing his cock back to life as Dean groaned encouragement.

When they were both clean, Dean turned off the water and let Cas dry him off before gently toweling Cas’ skin as well.  Every touch a heightened sensation as Cas' body had been edged and denied release twice already. He was anxious to come and Dean wanted to give him the relief he craved.

Leading Cas to the bedroom with their fingers interlaced, he motioned for Cas to lay on the bed while he grabbed a bottle of lube from his own room. When he returned Cas lay sprawled on his back, cock standing at attention. Dean had to chuckle.

“No, Cas, on your knees facing the headboard, unless you’ve changed your mind.” Cas scrambled onto his knees as Dean grinned at him. The view was gorgeous. Cas lay prone, ass up, hands grasping at the rungs of the headboard, waiting patiently for Dean.

“That’s my beautiful Angel.” it was an involuntary whisper, a sense of awe.

Dean knelt on the bed behind Cas and nipped at his rounded cheek, dragging a whimper from Cas. He teased a lubed finger through the crack of his ass all the way to the tip of his cock before wrapping his hand around the shaft, pumping as Castiel shuddered and moaned. Finally, he buried his face between his cheeks and stroked his tongue along the puckered rim of his ass. Cas groaned a curse as his hips rocked back for more and then forward into Dean’s fist. His body didn’t know which pleasure it wanted first. As Dean’s tongue continued to flutter against him, Cas began to beg wantonly. He was so sure of what he wanted and only Dean could give it to him.

“Christ Cas, I wanna fuck you...you have no idea how bad. We have to take this slow though.” Stroking a freshly lubed finger against his hole, Dean began to press. “That’s one finger, angel, just one.” the tip popped through the opening and Dean could feel it relaxing and contracting over and over.  Slowly he slid it inside, stroking against the swelling that would make Cas insane. The noises he was making were turning Dean inside out with desire. Noises he had wanted to hear Cas make for months now. The way he writhed against the intrusion was filthy and sensual and everything Dean wanted. He twisted his finger, slowly loosening Cas up before easing in a second slick finger.

“God Dean… _yess…”_ Cas had never felt anything like it. He’d craved the feeling of being filled but had been terrified of the pain.  There was pain, but he found his body only wanted more of it. The feeling of being stretched and submitting to the desires of someone who wants to please you above all else was heady.  Even as he begged for release, his heart swelled under Dean’s affection.

“So beautiful, Cas...so damn beautiful.” Dean stroked Cas’ cock, letting his fist close over the tip over and over again.  Cas rocked into each stroke, his moans telling Dean how close he really was until he finally spilled over Dean’s fingers, his rim contracting against Dean's fingers as he worked through his finish. Dean praised him between soft kisses across his shoulders as he came down.

* * *

Cas dozed curled up on his side as Dean cradled him from behind, an arm slung protectively around him. He relished the smell of Cas, the warmth that radiated from his skin, the dimples that lived just above the arc of his rear; there wasn’t anything he didn’t adore.

Castiel’s phone began to vibrate on the bed stand, waking him from his contented sleep.  Dean returned to kissing his back and shoulders while he checked his phone. Dropping it back on the bedside table, he rolled onto his back and stretched like a cat before pulling Dean down onto his chest. Cas’ blue eyes said things that his mouth wouldn’t as Dean rested his chin on his neatly folded hands.

“Hey, sleepy face. Good nap?” Cas grinned at Dean’s smug look.  

“Yeah, I guess.  Letting you boss me around is exhausting.” Cas’ own smug look brought a laugh out of his lover.

Dean feigned offense, “Oh is that what it was? You _LET_ me?”

“Mmhmm, and I loved it, but playtime is over.  Charlie wants to have dinner and I’d like to introduce you properly.  Also, if you think I’m not going to take my own turn doing the bossing, you’re mistaken mister.” Cas tried to look ominous but it only made Dean laugh harder.

“Alright angel, I’ll let you take over and do whatever your heart desires.  Later. Let’s get ready to go.” Dean climbed out of bed and chased Cas to the bathroom swatting him with a damp bath towel while Cas yelped.  He tried not to worry about dinner while they got ready. Charlie seemed to like him ok, maybe this was a good thing.

* * *

Charlie sat nervously at a table in the only restaurant in town Cas and Dean hadn’t been to yet going over her talking points in her head. When they got there, she was toying with her napkin and downing her second beer. Cas eyed her suspiciously. This wasn’t his normal bubbly Charlie.

Charlie eyed Dean as they sat down, but he put on his most loveable face and said hello as Cas made introductions.

“Are you boys having a good week?  Dean came in and picked up bagels for you Cas, he clearly knows how to make himself look good to you..” She was being snide.

Dean could tell Cas was uncomfortable so he tried to smooth things a bit. “I prefer to call it wooing. Cas was being so sweet, I wanted to do something nice for him.” Dean winked at Cas, drawing out a relieved smile from him.

Cas smile turned to concern, taking in Charlie's red face and closed fists. “Charlie, what’s going on?”

“Oh, I’m just trying to figure out why you’re with someone who threatens people who talk to you in restaurants.” Charlie nearly spat the words at Dean’s confused face.

“If you’re talking about Mick, he started that conversation with me, not Cas, and I didn’t threaten him. He sure as hell made sure to push all my buttons but I stayed right where I was and let Cas take care of it. Mick is his  - situation - to deal with.” Dean fought to stay calm, but clearly Charlie was looking to cause a problem. He took a long drink of his water and looked around for the waitress, he was gonna need a beer...or five.

“Charlie, you’ve got to calm down.  Whoever you’ve decided in your head that Dean is, isn’t true. At least give him a chance. At the very least be civil or we’ll be leaving.” Cas pinned her with a look that he hoped would get her under control but she was having none of it. She had one last bomb to drop.

“So are you saying you have no problem dating someone who asks people to lie to you for him?” Charlie looked triumphant. Dean’s jaw hung open slightly as his eye flitted between the confused look on Cas’ face and Charlie’s beaming one.

“Dean? What is she talking about…” The panicked look on Dean’s face was all Cas needed to know that Charlie had landed on a truth. His heart began to pound as Dean tried to find the right words. “The truth, Dean.”

“Cas, I…I had an interview with for a position at Harvelle’s yesterday and that’s why I needed to take your car over there. I didn’t want to tell you just in case you didn’t want me to stay. I’m sorry.” The look on Cas’ face shattered Dean’s heart. Cas stood and excused himself to the bathroom and left Dean sitting with a self-satisfied Charlie. “Are you happy now? You wanted him to be hurt?  What kind of friend are you?!”

“The kind that doesn’t want a low quality partner for her friends. He deserves so much better than you, Dean Winchester. You’ve been together three days and you’re already lying about something so small. What else would you lie about?” Her words cut into him, revealing the most vulnerable parts of himself.  He couldn’t breathe. With a loud scrape of his chair against the floor, he left quickly and without looking back. He didn’t know where he was going to go but he had to get away. His brain registered nothing but, “run, run, run” and he couldn’t help but obey as his boots pounded the pavement down the street and around the corner toward the opposite end of town.

When Cas returned to the table, he didn’t sit down. He was seething and his face barely contained his rage. “Where is Dean, Charlie?”

Charlie watched him with wide eyes, this angry man in front of her completely foreign. ”He left.” She didn’t dare say another word.

Cas stared at her for a moment before finally trusting himself to speak. “If you loved me at all, Charlie, you would have been careful with him. He looks strong, but he’s not.  Obviously he shouldn’t have lied but his intention was good. You couldn’t see that though, could you? You couldn’t trust me to make my own decisions. You better hope this works out or don’t expect to hear from me again.” Her eyes welled as he spoke. Grabbing his phone off the table he began dialing but Dean’s phone kept going to voicemail.

He could walk all over town looking for him or he could go home and wait. Guessing that Dean needed space, he sent him a text that said simply, “I’m not angry. Please meet me at home so we can talk.” His thumb hovered over the keyboard as he contemplated the last part. “I need you.” was all he typed before hitting send.

* * *

Dean sat on a stone bench in the park under a street lamp, no phone and no wallet like the most tropey part of any story where the main character fucks up royally, trying to figure out how he was going to face Cas. He’d hurt people before, regulars who’d caught feelings, but this was different.  The way he felt about Cas was indescribable and the pain...he had made this mess himself. How on earth was he going to fix it?


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's poor choices and Charlie's obsession with finding Dean wanting in some way has Dean running away. Will he buck up and face the consequences?

Dean had been sitting on the same godforsaken bench trying to figure out how to fix this mess he’d made and judging by how far the moon had moved he’d guess it had been a couple hours. He jumped up when a gentle tap hit his shoulder, spinning on instinct with a fist cocked back, ready to strike. As soon as he saw Charlie’s flaming red hair, he dropped his fist and scowled.

“What are you doing here?  Haven’t you done enough?” He turned his back to her, dropping back onto the bench with a huff of annoyance.

“Yeah, I figured you’d be real happy to see me too. I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Can we talk please?” She sat down beside him before he could answer. “I know I screwed up, but you have to understand - I don't know you, all I know is that Cas was a mess when he got here and you’re to blame for that. He can’t focus on anyone else and the only connection you really have is from defiling him in a confessional!” Dean shot her a look and she shrugged before folding her own arms across her chest to stare off into the park with a sigh.

Elbow to knee, Dean buried his face in his hands in frustration. “You don’t have to believe me, but I’m not that guy anymore.  Cas is important to me…” 

She jumped in to interrupt, “Why?” 

He’d never thought about why Cas was important to him. He struggled to swallow the lump forming in his throat with the realization that just maybe, this thing with Cas was more to him than just dating.

“Cas is...He’s patience and kindness. His heart is huge and he gives it without strings. He’s beautiful, and when I’m with him I can be the best version of myself. Without him...I’m empty. I’m just empty, Charlie.” His green eyes shimmered with unshed tears as he turned to look at her.  Her own eyes were wide, and about to overflow.

She took a steadying breath, “He’s all of those things, Dean Winchester. He’s my family and I love him. If I know anything about him, I know he loves you so I swear to all that is holy, if you hurt him…”

“I wouldn’t.” Dean stopped himself. “I will never hurt him again. Never.”

“Good.  Then get back home and tell him you’re sorry because I know he’ll forgive you.” Charlie stood as she spoke, tossing her hair back over her shoulder to resettle her jacket.  Dean nodded before jumping up to head down the path toward the road. “Oh Dean…” she called after his retreating form. “I’m sorry. I underestimated you.” 

Not turning to look he yelled over his shoulder, “most people do!”, before taking off at a run to get to Cas.

* * *

It was just after 11pm and Cas was ready to grab his keys and go look for Dean.  He couldn’t have gotten far, everything was still in the apartment. He sat on the couch nervously rubbing his thighs, mulling over what had happened for the five hundredth time feeling the helplessness of the situation.

Unsure where to start looking but no longer willing to wait, he grabbed his keys off the counter and headed for the door when there was a soft knock from the other side. He froze. All Cas could feel was the pounding in his chest. Turning the knob, he pulled open the door to a teary eyed Dean with his work worn hands shoved deep into his pockets. Cas opened his mouth but his own tears wouldn’t let him speak.

“Cas, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I swear I didn’t…” Dean had no sooner gotten the words out of his mouth before Cas was on him.  His arms wrapped around Dean’s neck with all the possessiveness of someone who’d found something they didn’t want to live without. His lips slotted into Dean’s like they were meant to be there, the perfect match of rough lips to Dean’s soft. Two tears rolled down Dean’s face as he lifted Cas by the thighs and carried him back through the door, kicking it closed before putting Cas down on the couch.  

Dean knelt on the floor between Cas’ knees before burying his face into Cas’ chest.  Cas stroked his fingers through Dean’s hair and tried to calm down. The adrenaline running through him was making it hard to think, not to mention the smell of a clearly exhausted, sweaty Dean. 

“Dean, where did you go? Why did you leave?” Tucking a crooked finger under his scruffy chin, Cas lifted Dean’s eyes to his own.

“I couldn’t do it Cas. I knew she had me and that look on your face... I couldn’t sit there. I couldn’t face the pain I’d caused you.”

Cas bent down to drop a soft kiss onto Dean’s lips, brushing back and forth for good measure.

“Dean, I just needed a minute to collect myself.  I understand why you did what you did. I’d rather you hadn’t…” Dean’s face crumpled as Cas spoke, “but I get it. I do.” Cas thumbs stroked along either side of Dean’s face as Dean’s anxious heart began to slow. 

“I’m so scared of pushing you away, Cas, of losing you.” The words left his lips just as he settled his head onto his crossed arms on Castiel’s lap. Cas continued to stroke through his hair and onto his back, soothing him the only way he knew how. Dean’s skin lit up with tiny tingles that turned his body to goo. No one calmed him like Cas.  The idea of being without this...without him was terrifying.

“I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to. I just need honesty from you, ok?” Cas ran his fingers over the perfect ridges of Dean’s back muscles, unable to stop himself from admiring the way his shirt pulled across his back. He couldn’t help remembering the strong, commanding man he’d brought home from the garage and how different he was than the one face down in his lap. For some reason Dean wasn’t buying that Cas really wanted to be with him. He needed to help Dean trust him. The only way to do that was to use a language Dean understood. Sex.

“Dean, I need you to stand up. Can you do that? It’s important that you do as I say and be still.” Cas’ tone took on an edge that made Dean’s spine catch fire.  

Dean’s mouth went dry, as he stood he stole a look at the fierce blue of Cas’ eyes. They practically glowed with the intensity of his words. Without saying a word, Dean folded his hands neatly behind his back assuming a position of natural submission and waited for Cas to stand. He didn’t.

“Remove your shirt, Dean.”  Cas leaned back as he spoke, his hands stroking softly over his thighs as if contemplating his next move, while watching Dean morph into a something entirely different.  His whole face had changed. The strain was gone, the emotion eased. It was a wonder to behold.

Dean pulled his shirt over his head by grabbing the back of his collar, a move he’d used countless times before because of how it made his abs ripple as in a way that turned clients on. Cas bit into his lip to hold back a moan of appreciation but stayed seated. 

“Your belt.” Cas’ voice was whisper soft but commanding.  Dean stared into oceans of blue as he unbuckled, drawn in by the waves of control coming off of Castiel. When the belt slid through the loops as he pulled, Cas held his hand out without a word. He stood as Dean laid the worn leather across his palm. 

Cas circled him, taking in his stellar form. A cold sweat broke out across Dean’s bare shoulders as Cas guided Dean’s hands behind his back and wrapped the leather belt around his wrists. It wasn’t perfect but it did the job. Soft fingers stroked Dean’s palms reassuringly as he pressed wet kisses into his shoulder blades, Cas positioned himself just behind him, the soft cotton of his shirt against hot skin as he reached around to slip his fingers just inside Dean’s waistband. 

He stopped there for a moment, stroking just below the belly button with his thumb while Dean tried to be still. Physical submission was easy for him, he could take anything Cas could dish out as far as pain but this teasing was harder than he thought. He’d never attempted this with someone he wanted to please as much as Cas, or someone he wanted as much as Cas. 

After a few seconds, Dean’s hips rocked forward just a tiny bit with a frustrated groan.  Cas removed his hand, a gentle rebuke for a lack of obedience, as he watched Dean’s muscles work with the effort to be still. Backing away he moved the coffee table out of the way leaving Dean trembling.

Cas stripped out of everything but his jeans as he moved back in front of Dean. His hands caressed the broad shoulders in front of him as he searched the depths of those green eyes for any sign of breaking. Dean had steeled himself for pain, that much was clear from the set of his jaw. He couldn’t give that to him even if he wanted to. 

“Dean, I’m not going to hurt you, this isn’t about revenge. What happened with the car and the job is over. This is about you letting me in. I need to have your trust. I need you to know that I’m all in.  Do you understand?”

Dean nodded but didn’t speak, his tongue felt like it was glued to the roof of his mouth. Trust wasn’t something he gave easily and as much as he wanted to believe that Cas wanted him as much as he wanted Cas, his head just couldn’t get there. Cas’ gentle hands moved up his neck and onto the rough of his cheeks where he searched green eyes and stroked his cheekbones. Dean’s eyes shifted away from Cas’ piercing stare, the intensity too much to bear.

“Look at me. I need your eyes.” Cas caught Dean’s gaze again. “We’re both going to make mistakes. We’re probably going to argue. That doesn’t mean my feelings for you are going to change. I know you don’t believe me now but you will. Eventually.” Cas dropped his head to kiss across Dean’s freckled collarbone. Dean let out a puff of air on contact and let his head drop back, the first sign of any kind of relaxation since Cas had tied his wrists. Licking up his neck wetly, Cas continued to rain down his affections, nibbling across Dean’s rough jawline, guiding Dean’s head back up until he reached those perfect lips. The lips he spent nights thinking about. The lips he never thought he’d claim again only a few short days ago. Dean parted them granting him entry as he took first the top lip, then the bottom between his own. His tongue explored without hindrance as Dean let out little whimpers.  The facade was cracking.

As Cas moved down to brush his lips against hardened nipples, Dean swallowed down the lump that formed in his throat, he didn’t deserve Cas’ tenderness. He desperately wanted it but every touch reminded him of his unworthiness. He deserved roughness and disregard. This gentle worship was too much.

“Cas...Please.” Castiel’s fingers slid up Dean’s chest and onto his lips, wordlessly silencing him as he continued to kiss over his chest. Dean’s tongue licked softly at the pad of Cas’ finger without thinking, the hot burn of desire growing in his gut. 

“Focus on the pleasure Dean. The sensation. You deserve all of this, let me give you what you need.” Cas sighed as he ran a wet stripe along Dean’s ribcage. Dean’s self pity was being overrun with need and the inability to take control was forcing him to wait. He squirmed as his hips humped against nothing in frustration. On a growl, Dean took Castiel’s finger into his mouth, sucking as he continued to stroke it with his tongue.  

Cas groaned as he stood, watching Dean’s mouth work. He could feel the slickness dribble from his cock even as he pulled his finger from Dean’s mouth. He glared playfully as Dean licked his lips suggestively. There he was....his sexy soulmate.

“On your knees, Dean.” Cas popped the button on his fly as Dean settled into position. His face inches from Castiel’s covered hardness. Dean couldn’t help himself from nuzzling into it.  The need to please Cas was so strong he couldn’t hold back. Cas slid his fingers into Dean’s hair guiding his hot breath and open lips back and forth across the denim, the gentle tease fueling his need. 

Pulling Dean’s head back to meet his eyes, Cas practically growled, “Tell me what you want.” Dean’s eyes closed for a second as the roughness of Castiel’s voice washed over him.

His words came out in a whisper. “I wanna taste you, Cas...let me please you.” As soon as the words were out of Dean’s mouth Cas released his head and he went right back to caressing Castiel’s cock through his jeans with his lips. Cas couldn’t stop himself from digging his fingers into his own hair as he thrust his hips forward toward that hot mouth. Dean knew just how to make him insane even with his hands tied behind his back. He almost succumbed to Dean’s pleas but at the last second he stepped back from Dean’s mouth.  This was about Dean’s pleasure, not his own.

Cas knelt in front of Dean, his fingers working quickly to free his own cock before releasing Dean’s. He slid open the drawer in the front of the coffee table and pulled out a bottle of lube. Dean cocked an eyebrow but said nothing. Cas smirked to himself. “You never know where you might be when the mood hits.  Don’t judge.” Dean chuckled until Cas’ slick fingers closed around his hardness.

“Fuck, Cas…” Dean’s hip muscles worked to keep him upright as his knees shifted to open wider. Cas worked a slow steady rhythm as Dean’s moans got increasingly louder. The tip of his cock dripping as his eyes rolled. Cas stroked using different rhythms and techniques until he found what got the best response. Pleasure was the name of the game.

“God Dean, you’re so beautiful wrecked and wanting like this. Do you even know how badly I want to fill you?” Dean’s eyes opened as if willing the fog to clear. 

“Cas, I need you inside me.” The desperation in those gorgeous eyes told all the truth that he needed. Reaching around with both hands to release the belt binding him, Cas rutted his cock alongside Dean’s pressed between their chests, their lips pulling at the others hungrily as Dean’s freed arms wrapped around Cas’ chest pulling him tight, the heat of their skin threatening to catch fire and burn them both to the ground.

Breathless, Cas pulled away as if it took all of his strength.  “On your hands and knees, don’t forget who’s in charge, Dean.” but he really didn’t need the reminder.  Dean was on his hands and knees, ass in the air waiting, almost immediately. Cas’ fingers bit into the flesh of his ass hard enough to pinch before licking and kissing to soothe the bite. Dean’s back curled wantonly, wordlessly begging for more. Slicking up his fingers with a fresh coat of lube, Cas began the process of opening Dean up for him. Cooing encouragement and teasing with little licks and small intrusions of his finger tip. By the time he had three fingers seated easily inside Dean, he was stroking against the swelling inside him reveling in the sounds he was making. Little begging whines, and desperate groans that made Cas throb.

“Dean, baby, I think you’re ready.  You’re sure you want my cock…” Castiel grinned as he waited for the frustrated moan he knew was coming. He wasn’t disappointed. Lining up the tip to press against Dean’s hole, he stroked against it a few times to let Dean relax before slowly pushing it past the tight ring of his ass. Dean’s body accepted his cock easily, pulling and tightening along his length as he seated himself inside. He waited for Dean to relax again before working his hips in shallow thrusts, telling Dean how good he felt, and how incredible he looked as he stroked his hands over his back. 

Cas could feel the swelling begin inside Dean, he knew he was pushing all the right buttons but he didn’t want to go too hard too fast. He’d underestimated Dean’s need, however. Dean went down onto his elbows, resting his forehead on the carpet as he reached underneath himself to stroke feverishly on his throbbing length. “Cas please...don’t hold back. You won’t hurt me.”

Digging his fingers in to Dean’s hips, Cas picked up the pace as he chased his own release. “God Dean, you feel so damn  _ good _ ”, panting as he worked he let instinct take over as his hands slid up to grip Dean’s muscled shoulders, giving him the leverage he needed to pound into him in the way he knew Dean wanted. Possessive and fierce, all the emotions he needed to express came rushing to the surface.

Dean’s moans took on a different tone as he got closer and closer to his release. “Make me come Cas,  _ give  _ it to me!” he whimpered as he met each of Cas’ thrusts. With one final push, Cas whole body shook as he came, collapsing onto Dean’s damp back. Unable to hold Cas’ weight and finish, he rolled them both onto their side, still furiously fisting his own cock.

Cas rolled Dean back onto his back as he slid out, nestling himself between Dean’s thighs. Pinning his hands to the floor he lapped at the underside of his aching cock as it jumped and strained. Dean panted as his impending orgasm seemed to ebb away.  

“Fuck….Cas what are you…” his words were cut off on a whine as Cas sucked the tip of his cock into his mouth. The wet heat punched a groan out of his chest as his hips shot up from the floor. Cas took every thrust, his throat opening around the tip of Dean’s cock over and over. “Oh Cas, yes….god  _ yes… _ ” With one final thrust, Cas swallowed him down, taking all of his release.

Cas continued to lick and suck until Dean was fully limp, lying on the floor like he belonged there, with his pants around his ankles.  Sitting back on his heels, Cas took him in, completely fucked out, spent at his hand. Cas helped him out of the tangle of his jeans before laying next to him, one leg slung over Dean’s an arm across his chest, nestled against him as he listened to his heartbeat ease.

Dean was the first to break the silence.

“How did I ever get this lucky?” More hypothetical than anything, he turned to place a kiss on Cas’ forehead but the absent minded stroking of Cas’ fingers across his chest stopped abruptly..

“What we have is kind of amazing, dont’cha think?” Cas smiled to himself, still feeling completely blissed out.

“What is it exactly that we have, Cas?” Dean rolled to his side to look at Cas who dropped back onto the floor with a sigh.

“What do you think it is?” Cas knew how he felt but he wanted to make Dean say it.

“I mean, you know how I feel about you Cas, right? This is serious, this thing we’re doing. I’ve never felt...” when Cas smiled Dean groaned. “I’m so bad at talking about feelings Cas. You have to know that.”

“I know Dean, that’s why this is so cute.” Cas nuzzled into Dean’s neck and breathed him in as he held him tight. “It’s after midnight, Wednesday already. I feel like this week is moving fast and then what?”

“Exactly.  Then what?” Dean spoke on a yawn as exhaustion set in.  His emotions had been all over the place, not to mention he still hadn’t eaten.  He just felt weak. 

“Dean, come sleep with me. I know you’re tired, I’m exhausted, but I don’t want to let you go. I need you close to me.” Cas’ eyes were so hopeful but they didn’t need to be.  Dean didn’t want anything more than to be close to Cas.

“You know I won’t leave you Cas.” Dean stood, helping Cas up with him.  He forgot about food, about potential jobs, about the depths of his feelings. All he needed right now was the reassurance of curling up behind this man that he couldn’t live without. 

 

The sun dawned way too damn early for Dean’s taste. He’d slept better than he had in years, and even as his body began to rouse itself, he didn’t want to let go of this man he couldn’t get enough of.  Their bodies felt like they were glued together under the sheet. They needed coffee, something to eat, a shower. Then who knew what they would do.

They had three days left until Dean was supposed to leave and as of now he had no flight back.  The thought of leaving Cas made his stomach flip uncomfortably but he’d only been with him a few days. It would be unreasonable to expect to stay indefinitely.

Cas’ deep sigh pulled Dean out of his thoughts and back to the feeling of their naked bodies pressed together. A little morning wood never hurt anyone but his backside needed a break after last night.  He kissed the back of Cas’ shoulder and eased himself away slowly to try to keep from waking him fully. Cas stirred and rolled a bit but finally resettled and began to snore. His angel wasn’t a morning person and Dean thought he looked adorable clutching his pillow like a stuffed toy, not to mention the sleek lines of his back and that hip that…

He shook his head.  Enough of the boning, he needed to make a couple calls and get the coffee brewing. Slipping out to the hallway, he took care of his morning bathroom routine and grabbed some clean clothes from his room before getting the coffee pot brewing. The smell was heavenly.  Cas was used to really good, high end coffee. Dean was used to the instant crap. Their worlds were a lot different, he had to admit. 

He stood in the kitchen and sipped his dark roast while he scrolled through his phone looking for efficiency apartments.  There was literally nothing in Hampstead but one about a half hour away that looked promising, that meant he’d have to look for work elsewhere. This wasn’t going to be as easy as he thought.

“Hey gorgeous..” A sleepy faced Cas leaned against the wall just at the end of the hall watching Dean. His hair was a hot mess, and the two days of scruff on his face had him thinking very seriously about wanting to see Cas in a beard. His bare chest was perpetually tan and looked damn good paired with some black boxer briefs. Damn. Good.

“Do you always stalk your prey from the hallway or is it just when I’m in the kitchen?” Dean smirked as Cas scrubbed at his face trying to hide his amusement.  

“Look when I was watching you the other night we weren’t quite physical yet so it was a little different.” His embarrassed smile made Dean want to taunt him just a little. 

“You mean we weren’t fucking yet, right?” He winked as Cas blushed. “Come get a cup of coffee angel, it’s still hot. You still take it with a little cream and no sugar?” Cas nodded and waited as Dean stirred cream into his cup.

He wrapped his fingers around the warm mug and took a sip before he spoke. “If I’d known you made coffee this good, I would have had you making coffee from day one.” Dean smiled as he sipped his own. “Listen, I was thinking we could take a drive to the beach since you fixed the car. Get out of town a bit.  What do you think?”

“I’ve never been to the beach. Sounds like a plan to me but I don’t have any trunks.” Dean looked worried. If he was going to find a place to stay he had to be careful with his money.

“Oh you won’t need them.  It’s too cold to swim but the sound and the view is gorgeous. Just trust me.” Dean nodded thoughtfully before dropping a kiss onto Cas’ cheek  on his way to the couch, obviously distracted. Cas watched him walk away wondering what was going on in his head. “Dean, what’s going on? Something’s obviously on your mind.”

“Oh, I’m just thinking. I mean, if I get that job at Ellen’s, I need to find some place to live.” He dropped his phone on the couch and set his empty mug on the coffee table before turning sideways on the couch to look at Cas, who was still standing in the kitchen doorway. “See, I met this guy and he’s kind of awesome so I’d like to stick around and see where things go.” Cas blushed and hid his face in his upturned mug. 

“Maybe you could just stay here?” The words left his lips before he could stop them.  He made his way to the couch where Dean looked uncomfortable if not panicked.

“Cas, I can’t do that to you. You don’t need to be responsible for me. What if I’m here still next week and you decide that my coffee rings on your coffee table are annoying?” His voice dropped off at the end as he cleared his throat and nervously shifted on the couch. “No. I need to find my own place.” 

Cas couldn’t help feeling disappointed.  He wasn’t ready to come to terms with the idea of Dean leaving, even if it was only to a nearby apartment.  He’d gotten really used to the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, the way he smiled when he teased, the heat of his body on the couch. All those things.  He didn’t relish the idea of coming home to an empty apartment the way he did when he first moved in.

“Well ok, let’s get ready to go.  Can you pack some sandwiches and I’ll get cleaned up? There’s a cooler in the closet. I may have been to the beach a couple times already since I’ve been here.” Dean nodded but Cas’ half-hearted smile wasn’t lost on him.  He had to wonder if he hadn’t protested so hard that Cas misunderstood.

* * *

The car ride was a couple hours of Dean telling jokes and Cas laughing but not quite hard enough. Something was definitely off but Dean wasn’t sure how to fix it without making Cas feel obligated to let him move in. They had to do this the right way if it was going to work. At least he thought it was the right way.

When they finally reached the shore, Dean stepped out of the car and stared. The sheer power of the ocean was incredible. The wind carried the saltiness to his nose along with the tiniest bit of sand. The crashing waves drown out the sound of Cas’ feet in the gravel of the parking lot until he was just behind Dean. Cas’ arms stretched around his waist as his chin rest on his shoulder. Dean’s covered Cas’ clasped hands with his own, there just weren’t sufficient words. Overwhelmed was an understatement in the face of so much beauty. He was so glad his first time seeing this was with someone he couldn’t imagine his life without.

“It’s magnificent isn’t it?” Cas could have been whispering for all Dean knew, he didn’t hear a word. He pulled Cas around him by his wrist and flanked his scruffed cheeks with his hands. The blue of his eyes was the only thing more beautiful than the ocean in the distance. This moment was so perfect. Cas parted his lips in anticipation of the kiss he wanted and knew was coming. Dean licked into his mouth, capturing the ocean in the air along with the taste that was only Cas. He didn’t want anything more than this moment, here with Cas. Always with Cas.

They stayed all afternoon, walking for what felt like miles through the sand in their bare feet. Dean ran through the water as it ran up the shore line once before deciding it was way too cold. Cas walked alongside with his hand tucked in Dean’s back pocket, letting Dean lead them wherever he wanted to go. This was his experience and Cas just wanted to be in it with him.

By the time they were back in the car, Dean was exhausted. Cas gripped his hand tightly with his free hand as he drove, his heart full of feelings he wasn’t sure he was ready to name. Dean kissed the tips of each of Cas’ fingers before placing the hand on his belly and closing his eyes. Before he knew it the rumble of the car tires on the road had him dozing peacefully. Dreaming of sandy beaches and salty kisses with his blue eyed angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Three more chapters to go and I'm on vacation this week with the family so I'll do my best but it may be two weeks (4/12) before the next update. I just wanted to keep your expectations from being too high, but I'll do my best. ;)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is closing in on the life he so desperately wants, will he find it?

Charlie's alarm hadn't even gone off yet when her cell phone rang early on Thursday morning.  One look at the caller ID told her what the call would be about.

She answered, "Seriously Ellen, can you call at a normal hour for once?  I prefer my alarm clock to you waking me up in the morning."

"Good morning to you too, sassy ass. Listen, I just wanted to tell you I decided not to hire Castiel's boyfriend...what's his name again?  Dean?" Ellen huffed as she talked. Clearly expecting a positive response from Charlie.

"What?  Why?! It's not because of what I said, is it?" Charlie was up in a shot, a sick feeling in her gut.  She had to fix this.

"Look Charlie, I don't want any unsavory individuals in my garage.  If he's anything like what you described, I don't want anything to do with him. I didn't think you liked this guy, anyway.  What changed?" Confusion colored Ellen's words. She knew she hadn't misread Charlie the last time they spoke.

"I was wrong.  Very wrong. It's a long story but suffice it to say, he's proving to be a trustworthy and humble man. I had him painted in my head as this conniving miscreant but meeting him and talking to Cas has completely changed my mind.  If anything, I'm now positive you should hire him as long as he's qualified." Charlie held herself back from begging but the guilt she felt for having caused this mess ran deep.

Ellen was quiet for a moment while the wheels turned in her head. "Ok Charlie.  I'll take a risk here but only because I trust you. Don't say anything to Castiel, I'll call Dean this afternoon."

The relief Charlie felt was immense. "Thanks Ellen.  I appreciate this."

* * *

 

Dean strolled toward the bagel shop looking disheveled and distracted. There were only two days left and he still didn't have anything figured out. He desperately needed to get an answer from Ellen but that didn't fix the fact that there was nothing available in this town that fit his needs. He had plans this afternoon to go check out the apartment in the next town but if he took that place, he'd need to find work there since he didn't have transportation.  He was getting overwhelmed, stomping his way down the street as he grew increasingly worried. When he finally made his way to the shop, he blew through the door like a man on a mission.

Charlie smiled sweetly at him from behind the counter. "Rough morning, Mr. Winchester?"

Dean took a breath. "Sorry Charlie, just got a lot on my mind.  Can I get a double order of Cas' usual? Just make the second coffee black please."  She nodded and whistled as she worked to put together the order. Dean watched her with curiosity. She was so upbeat, so peppy...this wasn't a Charlie he was used to seeing.  "Looks like someone's having a good morning." He cocked an eyebrow in question at her.

"Yeah, you could say that. How'd things go with Cas last night?" She mimicked his expression and he couldn't help but grin in response. "That good, huh?" She laughed as he squirmed.

"It was...good. Great, actually. I think we're back on solid ground. Thanks for coming to find me, I appreciate the effort." Dean looked away nervously, shifting and folding his arms.

"I did what I needed to. No thanks are necessary. Now, here are the bagels, and two coffees, one with light cream, one black.  Anything else?" Dean shook his head in response and handed her some cash.

"Keep the change Char, thanks." He flashed her a smile before pushing through the door.

* * *

 

Dean elbowed the apartment door open just as a sleepy faced Cas was ending a call. He shot Dean an apologetic look as he flopped onto the couch.

"That's not a good look, what's up?" Dean passed him his bagel and coffee before settling next to Cas, close enough to feel the heat of his body as much as the heat from the coffee.

Castiel groaned. "I have to go into work this afternoon. My backup has a 'mysterious illness' and apparently my boss decided at the last minute to go out of town." Laying his head on the back of the couch in frustration, he turned to look at Dean who couldn't help but chuckle at how ridiculous he looked.

"How is that even _comfortable_??" Cas rolled his eyes in response.

"I think you're missing the point. I have to _wooooork_." Cas lifted his head, eyes wide like Dean was completely clueless.

"That works out though, because...well... I was going to ask if I could borrow your car to check out an apartment in Armacost." Dean looked anywhere but at Cas, his embarrassment was obvious. Asking for help was way out of his comfort zone but obviously this was important to him. Cas shifted to set his coffee on the coffee table and turned to face Dean.

"Dean look, you don't have to ask. While we're together, what's mine is yours. If you want to go look at an apartment, you just tell me what you need and it's yours." Dean nodded and moved to drop a tender kiss on Cas' lips. He still looked uncertain but grateful for the lack of judgement. "Now that that's settled, why Armacost? That's like a half hour away!" Cas face expressed the panic that Dean felt when he thought about being so far from Cas.

"I know, I wanted to be in town but there just isn't anything.  No efficiencies, no apartments, no one looking for roommates. Hell, I still don't know if I have a job yet. I'm probably jumping the gun." Dean scrubbed at his face before downing the rest of his coffee.

"Well, it doesn't hurt to look.  Might as well give it a shot, right? I'm sure Ellen will call soon and I can't imagine her not hiring you.  You know what you're doing and she's been trying to fill that spot for an age." Cas' hopeful expression boosted Dean's confidence.

"You're probably right, Cas.  I better figure out this living situation so I'm ready on Saturday." Cas' face fell as Dean spoke. They had so little time left and Dean was adamant about being out at the end of the week. Cas couldn't figure out why he wanted to be gone so badly but from what he'd learned about Dean he knew it was probably a pride issue.

"If you want to go, I'm not going to stop you but I meant what I said. You're more than welcome to stay here with me. If it's too much too soon for you, you can have the second bedroom, I just...I don't want you to be gone." Cas shrugged as he stood to head back to the bedroom. Dean smiled but it was clear he was working through something in his head. "I have to go get ready but why don't you come by the bookstore after you're done in Armacost? You can check it out and keep me company until I close up."

"Sure Cas, sounds good to me." Dean sighed as he watched Cas mill around getting ready. This could be the beginning of his new life but he couldn't help but wonder what was going to destroy it.

* * *

 

After dropping Cas off at the bookstore, Dean spent the car ride thinking about the future. The possibility of a life with Cas made him hopeful that he could do something with his life. Something other than drifting around scrapping for work and places to live. He'd never done anything but squat somewhere since his dad took off and taking care of Sam was his only priority. This was the closest thing to a "white picket fence" life that he'd ever had and being this close was both a relief and a terror.

He pulled up in front of a large two story house on a quiet tree lined road in a gated community.  It wasn't at all what he expected and immediately he felt out of his element, what little confidence he'd had was dwindling fast. Making his way to the door, he straightened his shirt and ran his fingers through his hair to make sure he looked presentable before climbing the steps of the wrap around porch and ringing the doorbell.  While he waited he tried to stamp out the negative voice yelling in his head that he should just turn around and leave.

Through the stained glass of the door he could see a broad shouldered man in a suit approaching and that seed of unease in his gut grew to a full size panic.

"Mr Winchester I presume?" The British accent caught Dean completely off guard. He blinked for a moment before stretching his hand out in greeting.

"Call me Dean. And you're Mr. Ketch?" The man nodded before stepping aside to make a grand sweep of his left arm to usher Dean inside.

"Arthur Ketch, but you can just call me Ketch.  Everyone does. Please, have a seat in the living room there to the right."

Dean could feel the man's eyes on him as he moved to the living room.  The air dripped with judgement that settled in his chest only making his anxiety worse. Men like this made Dean's skin crawl and he preferred to give them a wide berth.

Ketch settled onto the leather wing back chair across from where Dean was seated on the couch. He was handsome in his navy suit, white shirt, and coordinating tie. The glint of gold cuff links peeked from his sleeves. He crossed his legs as he settled in, the light catching the shine of his oxblood shoes. Everything about this man was polished. He was the polar opposite of Dean and by the look on his face, he saw it too.

"Dean, look, I'm not sure this neighborhood is right for you but It's only fair to hear you out. Appearances can be deceiving.  Tell me, what do you do?" The smug smile on his face as he spoke just begged to be punched. Dean gritted his teeth and tried not to look rattled though he was ready to turn right around and leave. He needed this apartment.

"Well, Ketch, I'm unemployed at the moment but I'm expecting a job offer from a garage in Hampstead any day now. I'm an auto mechanic and had been employed by Bobby Singer in Leland Grove, Illinois up until last week when I decided to move here to be close to..." he hesitated. "family." Cas was like family. It felt right to say it.

"So you have no income presently." Ketch's smile fell. Dean swore he could feel an eye roll coming.

"Well not at the moment but I have two month's rent and I'll have a job before I need the third month's rent. I can promise you that." He could feel the disdain dripping from Ketch. It almost felt like he'd already made up his mind and just enjoyed the power he had to make or break this for Dean.

"Promises mean nothing when you don't know a man's worth, Dean. How long did you work for Mr. Singer?" He cocked an eyebrow as he spoke, clearly unimpressed.

Dean cleared his throat and thought for a second about lying but he didn't want to put Bobby in a position where he might feel like he had to lie for Dean. "Only a few months. Leland Grove was kind of a place to live while I figured out what I wanted to do long term after my kid brother went off to college.  I took care of him growing up so once he was gone I had options." He hoped this would help make him look responsible in Ketch's eyes but all it did was open him to more questioning.

"So where did you live before that then?  What did you do?" The furrow between Ketch's dark brows only deepened as Dean shifted in his seat, clearly uneasy.

"Oh, well odd jobs here and there, mostly working on cars and staying with family." Dean looked everywhere but at Ketch, clearly giving away the fact that he really wasn't giving him the truth. When Dean opened his mouth to continue, Ketch cut him off.

"Mr. Winchester, you have no real job and no prior landlord to speak of. Leasing the apartment to someone like you would be phenomenally stupid on my part. Not to mention, this is a gated community of wealthy homeowners, bringing someone in here with such a _vague_ history would be frowned upon. I just can't do it." Ketch stood to indicate it was time for Dean to go.  Dean didn't want to beg but he was desperate to stay close to Cas. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he stood, his cheeks flaming with shame.

"Mr. Ketch, look, I'll do what I need to prove to you that I'm a good tenant.  I can give you Bobby's number as a reference along with a couple others if you'll just give me a chance. I need this apartment, please." The disgust on Ketch's face was obvious. He didn't wait for a response. Picking up what little self-respect he had left, he squared his shoulders and crossed his arms. "Nevermind, I can see you'd made up your mind before I ever came in the door. I'm outta here."

Dean hurried from the room without so much as a look at Arthur Ketch before slamming the front door behind him. When he pulled away from the curb the fact that it was the second to last day and he still had nowhere to live hit him like a cruel punch to the gut. The thought of asking to stay with Cas made him ill. Depending on someone else to take care of him was the last thing he wanted, especially Cas. No, he needed to be able to show Cas he could take care of himself. That he could be an equal partner in this relationship. He wanted to be a partner Cas could be proud of and right now, he felt like gutter trash.

The ringing of his cell phone pulled him out of his destructive thoughts.  Without even looking to see who it was he swiped up and answered.

"Yeah."

"Yeah? Is that how you always answer the phone??" Ellen Harvelle's annoyed tone hit the last frayed nerve Dean had left.

"I'm terribly sorry, let me try again.  Hello, how may I help you?" The sarcasm dripped from his words and wasn't lost on Ellen.

"Mr. Winchester, this is Ellen Harvelle. I'm calling to offer you a job.  Do you want it or not?" Annoyance was replaced with irritation as she spoke but Dean's heart broke. If only she'd called a couple hours earlier maybe he'd have that apartment.  At this point, he'd burned that bridge to ashes. He hesitated to respond. "Are you there or did I shock you mute? I'm thinking that might be an improvement..."

"Yeah....yeah I'm here.  Um, look, I don't think I can accept. I'm sorry Ms. Harvelle." The tears started to well as he spoke. What good would a job do if he had nowhere to live and no one was going to rent to someone like him.  It was hopeless.

"Well, I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm surprised. I'll move on to the next guy I suppose. Good luck to you." When the call ended Dean tossed his phone into the seat next to him and cranked up the radio.  Anything to take his mind off this shitty situation.

When he arrived back to Castiel's apartment, he went straight to the shower without thinking. He had a need to wash Ketch's disdain from his body, the judgement from his soul. No matter how hard he scrubbed his skin, he still felt small and worthless. He hadn't felt this low since he'd met with Sam's college admissions counselor to discuss his financial aid options and handed them a stack of ill gotten cash. The look on their faces was burned into his memory and it looked a lot like the look he got from Arthur Ketch.

He didn't know how long he stood under the scalding water but when he got out his skin was red and angry. His green eyes shone in the mirror, not with tears but with frustration. He had an aching need for control and he knew it was just his mind's way of burying his emotions. Without bothering with a towel, he made his way to his room. The bed was still unmade from where he'd left it two nights ago so he sprawled naked across the sheets, letting the chill of the cold cotton sink into his warm skin. A nap would probably help but he felt riled and pent up. His mind swam with visions, anything to calm him, finally landing on an image of Cas stretched across his bed, ankles tied to their respective corners, just as his wrists were tied to theirs. Dean groaned as his hips ground his cock into the sheets. This is exactly what he was trying to avoid.

His fist grabbed at a pillow as he growled in frustration. His mind went right to a new image of Cas. A wanton look on his face, ankles and wrists bound to the same spreader bar which kept it suspended over his chest, his cock, balls, and ass on full display as his knees were drawn up. He was a beautiful vision of total submission and the need to own him and ravage his body pushed Dean over the edge. Laying in his own bed, Dean slid a hand between his cock and the sheets, his fingers wrapping around his rapidly filling thickness. His hips humped against hand, thrusting his cock through his grip, as he sighed in satisfaction. He could see himself teasing Cas with his tongue, slicking his taint as Cas whined and begged. The thought had him throbbing.

Rolling over he let a leg slip over the edge of the bed as he lazily stroked against the fantasy playing in his mind. Cas' tight hole stretched around his cock as he stroked him achingly slow. Making Cas beg and relishing the sound of Cas calling his name. Dean....Dean…

"Dean? Are you home?" Dean's eyes shot open as Cas made his way down the hall. He rolled to his side grabbing a sheet to cover himself just as Cas poked his head around the door jamb. His warm smile turned into a sly grin as his eyes roamed over Dean's form through the white sheet.  "What are _you_ up to?"

"Um...nothing.  I just took a shower and you know...thought about maybe a nap. You're home early." Dean's attempt to change the subject failed as Cas crossed the room to perch on the end of the bed.

"A nap, huh?" the air quotes made Dean hide his face with a pillow. "Look, I shouldn't mention it, but you're leaking through the sheet...don't let me stop you if you need to finish. Actually, I think I'd...I mean if you're ok with it, maybe I could watch?" Dean turned to look at Cas. Did he just say what he thought he said? The blush that stole across Cas' cheeks made Dean's blood run hot. His cock jerked under its covers.  Cas pulled the covering slowly from Dean's body as he rolled onto his back. His cock lay swollen on his stomach begging to be touched. The itch to control flipped a switch in Dean, this was his chance.

"You want to watch me, is that what you're saying Cas? Tell me." Dean knew how to use his body. It was one of the few things he was confident of. He watched as Cas' lower lip slid through his teeth, Dean slid his hand across his stomach close to his cock but not quite there.  Cas fidgeted before opening his mouth to speak.

"Please let me watch you.." The words were hushed as Cas watched Dean's hand move. A single finger moved up the underside of his cock to the tip where he spread the slickness around.

"Take your clothes off, Cas. I want to see you. All of you." Cas moved quickly, stripping out of his cardigan, tee shirt, and jeans. Dean spoke before he could sit back down. "Stand there. Just there where I can see you. Put your hands behind your back and just watch me. I want to see your body come alive for me." Cas' eyes grew wide as Dean slid his free hand up behind his head under the pillow, his knee was cocked out to the side as he cupped his sack, a thumb slowly stroking its smoothness. He was on display and he loved it. The ability to make Cas want him was like a drug....a drug he needed right now.

"Do you know, Cas, how good it feels to just feel the weight of my balls in my hand. God, it's good. Does this make you want to touch me?" His green eyes flashed when Cas nodded. "Say it Cas. I need your voice."

"Yes. Yes, Dean, I want to touch you..." Cas hips pushed forward slightly as he swallowed down a groan. He hadn't been told but he felt the need to stay quiet until asked to speak.

"I was thinking about you Cas. I was thinking about fucking you. You do want want me to fuck you, don't you Cas?" Dean's fingers wrapped around his cock as he spoke, he stroked slowly milking out small beads of wetness.

Cas trembled as his cock swelled, lifting away from his body. He was breathless with the effort to keep from touching himself. "Yes..."

"One stroke, my angel, you can stroke it once." Dean's eyes slid to Cas' aching cock as his hips rolled up stroking his own cock through his fist. Cas' fingers wrapped around his own length gripping it tightly as he moved slowly from root to tip, getting all the sensation he could from that one stroke. Dean growled low as Cas' fingers let go and disappeared back behind his back. He was so obedient. So good.

"Fuck, Cas, you're so good.  Such a good angel for me." Dean's hips worked his cock in and out of his fist as he spoke, his words coming in small pants as his concentration waned. He wanted to cum in the worst way. "I want to mark you Cas, make you mine. I want to fill you - be the only one to fill you. To make you feel what I feel when you're inside me." His eyes rolled back as they closed, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as his hips stilled.  The only sound was the whisper of skin stroking skin as both men held their breath in anticipation.

Cas moved around the bed to pick up the bottle of lube from the bedside table. He poured it onto the tip of Dean's cock as it peeked through his fingers. Dean let out a satisfied groan as his strokes picked up speed, the wet sound of it making Cas' cock jerk - begging to be touched. A single drop of slick dripped from his neglected cock as Cas moaned his frustration.

Dean grunted as his strokes picked up speed, his breath desperate. "God Cas, I will make you feel so fucking good..." With one last gasp, his cock spilled out over his fingers as his hips jerked involuntarily. It had been ages since he'd cum so hard. There was something about Cas' bedside obedience and all of his pent up frustration that caused an explosion when he finally found his release. His whole body relaxed into the bed as he caught his breath. When he opened his eyes Cas remained, hands behind his back, cock straining and red. Dripping. It was the sexiest thing Dean had ever seen. When he looked into Cas' eyes there was a barely contained desperation there swimming in the oceans of blue. "Oh Cas...you deserve a reward for your incredible obedience. Come lay on the bed."

As soon as Cas had positioned himself on the bed, Dean knelt between his lovers legs, a hand moving up and down each thigh - slowly easing them wider and wider apart. When they were spread wide enough, Dean took in the view. It was reminiscent of the vision he'd had earlier of Cas tied to a spreader bar, ready and waiting. "Fuck, Cas..."

Castiel's hands twitched at his sides, he watched Dean move intently as his body trembled with want.  A touch, a kiss, a hiss of breath...anything to bring him some relief. "Please Dean..." he whimpered in desperation.

"Put your hands behind your head, my angel, you've earned my mouth." When Dean's wet tongue drug across the crook of Castiel's open hip, the moan that left Cas' lips was wanton and needy.  Dean's hands slid behind his angel's knees and forced them up as he nosed beneath his sack to coat his taint with his desire. Castiel writhed on the bed as Dean teased and toyed with his body. Tongue fluttering over his pinched hole before sucking first one ball and then the other into his hot mouth. Finally, his lips closed over the tip of Cas' dripping cock as he swallowed him down. His need so great, Cas' hips jerked at the touch. Dean hummed as he worked over the throbbing member, the vibration rumbling right to the root as Castiel groaned his approval.

"Fuck..Dean yessss...." Cas' words went straight to Dean's own waning erection. He had nothing left but he was going to make sure Cas didn't either. His thumb stroked and pressed gently against Cas' tight hole as he sucked, each time he pressed Cas hissed and rocked into the slight intrusion. A whispered "please baby..." was all Dean needed. 

He let the swollen cock pop out from between his lips, "Hand me the lube, I want nothing but pleasure for my perfect angel." Dean chuckled as Cas almost threw it at him. So needy...  He coated his fingers before taking his cock back between his lips until he was nosing into his soft curls. His slicked finger pushing gently at Cas' entrance before Cas opened to it, the muscles pulling and squeezing around it.

"I've been waiting...I need more..." Cas was uninhibited splayed before Dean like an open book of arousal. His skin glistened with a mist of sweat and trembled with the need to come unglued. Dean slowly eased a second finger in as Castiel began to fuck himself onto Dean's hand. His cock jerked in Dean's mouth, against the tongue that stroked relentlessly along its length. He whined and bucked as Dean's fingers assaulted the swollen muscle that had so long been neglected. Dean swirled his tongue around and around the sensitive tip while Cas jerked before wrapping his fingers around his cock to stroke.

"Fuck my fingers Cas, I'm going to swallow that cock down again and I want you to cum. As soon as you're ready, you cum. Don't think about it, don't apologize for it, you cum in my mouth.  Understood?" Cas was gone, his body shook with the effort to hold on as his hips rocked against Dean's strong fingers, eyes rolled back and moaning greedily. "Ok angel, give it to me." as soon as the words left his mouth the tip of Cas' cock was thrust down into the tight confines of his throat. Over and over Dean milked his angel's cock as Cas came with a loud groan.  His ass clenched and released over and over around Dean's fingers as his mouth continued to work until his cock was completely spent. Dean had paid attention enough to know that Cas could take the extra stroking and he loved making sure he was completely sated.

Dean gently slid his fingers from Cas before kissing up his body to nuzzle into his neck. For the first time since he'd dropped Cas off this afternoon, he felt completely relaxed. Content. At peace. He lay quietly listening to Cas catch his breath but as his breathing slowed, the anxiety began to creep back in.

Cas stretched and turned to wrap his arms around his lover but Dean had gone tense. Something was off. "Dean? You ok?" When Dean didn't answer right away, Cas leaned back so he could get a look at him. His freckled face that had been so confident and in control just moments ago was crumpled and pained. "Dean??"

"I'm going to have to go back to Illinois, Cas." Dean had barely gotten the words out before Cas interrupted.

"No. I don't care what's going on, you are not going back. I don't know what's happened but let's get cleaned up and then we're going to figure this out." Cas didn't wait for a response, he was out of bed and into the hallway toward the bathroom before Dean even registered what he'd said. After he'd cleaned himself up, Cas moved to his room to put on fresh pajama pants and then stood in the doorway looking at a defeated Dean sitting on the bed. " _Now_ Winchester. I'm going to fix dinner."

* * *

 

Almost a half hour later, Dean was parked at the dining room table sipping a beer while Cas buzzed around the kitchen preparing dinner.  Hamburgers fried in a pan as he sliced tomatoes and onions on a cutting board by the sink.

"I turned down the job, Cas. I don't have somewhere to live and the asshole I talked to today made it very clear that I'd not be finding a place to stay because I don't have any rental or job history. I'll just go crawling back to Bobby, and we can do this long distance until I develop the kind of background that I need to do this right. I don't want you taking care of me. You don't understand what it's like to be reliant on someone." The words had rushed out like they'd been rehearsed over and over in his head....and they had.

"Are you done?" Cas tossed a pointed look at Dean over his shoulder as he flipped the burgers. Dean stared. He hadn't been prepared for the irritation in Cas' voice. Disappointment, maybe but not anger. "Good. Now listen, I don't _need_  to take care of you Dean, I want to.  However, I know you won't let me. You're stubborn and proud and you're not going to let me so if I force you, you'll resent me and we won't survive.  That being said, I happen to know someone who's looking for a roommate and he's already called to ask if you might be interested. If you are at all interested in seeing this continue, you'll call him and take his room. If this is really just a way to get out of seeing me long term, then fine, go back to Leland Hills and I'll move on with my life but _don't_ try to spare my feelings." Cas' fist slammed down on the counter with the burger flipper in his hand for emphasis. He sucked in an involuntary breath to swallow down the sob that threatened to escape.

Dean stared as Cas fought to compose himself. "I won't let you go easily, Dean, but I will let you go if that's what you want. You just have to be man enough to tell me." Cas flipped the burgers onto a plate and turned off the stove before turning to the sink to get himself under control.

"Cas, god, no...that's not it." Dean stood, moving quickly to wrap his arms around Cas. "How could you possibly think I wanted to go. I can't stand the idea of being away from you for a day, let alone forever." Cas turned to bury his face in Dean's neck, the concave of it fitting perfectly to the crest of his forehead as if it had been made only for him. Relief washing over him in waves. "Cas, angel, who do you want me to call. I'll call tonight. Just don't be upset."

Cas kissed up his neck and nuzzled into his cheek.  "It's Benny. He called on my way home and said Ellen told him you might be looking for a place to stay. I'm guessing that was before you talked to Ellen though.  What exactly did you say to her anyway?" Dean groaned and grabbed up the burgers and buns.

"Let's eat and I'll tell you all about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me! After being off the grid last week on vacation this chapter took a bit longer than I thought. I hope you're still enjoying the story as we close in on the last couple chapters! Look for Chapter 13 on Friday, 4/19!


	13. Chapter 13

The morning sunlight shone through the pale curtains rousing Dean from a less than restful sleep. He lay awake most of the night curled up behind Cas feeling the thump of his heartbeat through the open palm he lay on Cas’ chest, listening to his gentle snores.  It was so tender and the thought of not waking up each morning like this was painful. He'd run through imaginary conversations with Ellen and Benny several times in his head. Sometimes they went well and sometimes they were humiliating. Whatever became of it, he had to speak to both of them because leaving Cas just wasn’t an option.

Cas rolled to face him, sensing he was awake. Dean slid a leg between Cas' thighs and ran his fingers through his dark, sleep mussed hair before dragging the backs of his fingers across his perfect jaw. Sleep fogged blue eyes opened as a smile warmed Cas' face.

"Hey..."

"Hey yourself. Sleep ok?" Dean asked as if he hadn't watched him sleep most of the night.

"I always sleep well when you're here." Cas nuzzled up against the heat of Dean's bare chest. "What about you? Did you rest?"

"Yes and no.  It was fine." Wrapping his arms tightly around Cas he kissed the top of his head. The deep ache in his chest was enough to steal his breath. He wanted to say things that were too big, things that were premature. This moment had the feel of a t.v. movie and it would be trite to do this now. He wasn't ready.

"Still not sleeping?" Cas kissed gently along Dean's chest, finding freckles and marking them with his lips.

"Sleep's overrated Cas." Dean chuckled as Cas bit into the ridge of his pec in response. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I need more sleep."

"Good, now back to sleep, it's  _ too  _ early." Cas yawned even as his morning hard on pressed against Dean's thigh. "Ignore that.."

"What, this?" Dean flexed his thigh muscle just below Cas' cock as Cas dropped an open mouth kiss onto Dean's shoulder.

"Maybe that, yeah." Cas slowly rolled his hips, pressing the tip into Dean's hip joint.

"You're a tease, you know that Castiel Novak? Dean grinned as Cas head lulled back showing him a sleepy grin.

"I really am." He pressed his lips to Dean's before burying his face in the crook of Dean's neck. That place that was just made for him where he fit perfectly. The place that made it clear that Dean was meant for him.

"Alright my angel, back to sleep for you before we end up banging again." Cas rolled his eyes and licked over Dean's pebbled nipple.

"Is that a problem? It  _ would  _ help me sleep...." Cas cocked an eyebrow at him in challenge.  Dean could feel that familiar curling in his gut.

"Cas..."

"Dean..."

"Cas."

Cas rolled his hips in response and grinned when he felt Dean hardening against his tummy.

"Dammit Cas." Dean rolled him over, pinning him to the bed. His lips covered Castiel's smirk almost as soon as it appeared, their tongues ignoring morning breath in favor of a closeness they both craved.

* * *

 

Dean was munching contentedly on a particularly delicious piece of bacon when Cas came rushing into the kitchen, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, waiving his phone at him.  Taking the phone from Cas he shook his head dismissively as Cas gave him a thumbs up and continued brushing on his way back to the bathroom. "DON'T FORGET TO SPIT YA' WEIRDO..." Dean yelled before putting the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"I don't think I want to know what all that spitting is about..." The creole in that voice was unmistakable. 

"Hey Benny, how are ya?" Dean immediately straightened in his seat wishing he’d been the one to call Benny, to start the conversation on his own terms. He wasn't ready for another interview like the one he'd had with Arthur Ketch.

"Hey there, listen Cas said you were lookin' for a place to stay and I'm lookin' for a roommate to help with the bills. You game?" Dean was silent for a second. Surely it wouldn’t be this easy.

"Yeah, sure. Did you want to ask me anything or..." He steeled himself against the incoming barrage of questions he couldn't answer. Hell, he didn't even have a job yet. So much for straightening things out with Ellen first.

"The only question I have is why you're not just staying put? I thought you and Cas were an item?" That was not the question he was expecting.

"Well, yeah, I mean, we're together but you know...it's too soon. I mean, I don't want to overstay my welcome." Dean couldn't think of what to say. He didn't really want to go but these things were supposed to take time weren't they? 

"Dean...you still there, chief?"

"Yeah, sorry.  Sure, where is it?" Dean stood and began to pace a bit.  Tomorrow was Saturday and it would be time to move after that. It was so soon.  Too soon.

"Right above the garage. Just meet me out back and I'll show you around." Benny sounded pleased, but Dean was anxious. The feeling of being settled wasn’t coming as easily as he’d thought.

"Great, will noon work?" 

"See you then." The call dropped before Dean could breathe again. His heart felt like a stone in his chest. This was it, he was moving out.

Cas wandered back into the room looking decidedly less excited than he'd been when he was racing into the room to hand him a phone. "All settled?"

"Yeah..." Dean caught the look on Cas face before continuing he didn't want his own lack of enthusiasm to make Cas feel obligated to let him stay. "Yeah, Benny's down.  I'm going to meet him around noon so he can show me around. Seems like a good idea. He lives above the garage so if a miracle occurs and Ellen hires me after all, I'll have everything right there." he tried to sound excited but the look in Cas' eyes took care of that.

"That's great.  Sounds like everything's coming together nicely.  I'm happy for you Dean." He was trying to be supportive but the smile on his face didn't quite reach his eyes. He kept reminding himself that Dean would be just a few blocks away but not having Dean here to come home to pushed a lump of emotion into his throat. 

Dean cleared his throat to push away the feelings he wasn't ready to deal with. "Yeah, yeah, don't get all emotional on me Cas.  I'll be close and what is it they say? Absence makes the heart grow fonder or some shit?" Cas' eyes rolled so hard that whoever "they" were probably felt it. "Come on Cas, this is important."

"I know, I know... Ok, Go ahead and meet Benny and I'll be lazy and think about all the sex we won't be having." The side-eye from Dean was hardcore. Cas smirked as he grabbed a book and headed back to the bedroom.

"I'll deal with you when I get back." Dean mumbled to himself as he grabbed his wallet and jacket.

"Please do!" came a disembodied voice from Cas' room.

"Smart ass!"

"You love it..." Dean didn't voice the "yeah, I do" that came to mind but he did. In that moment, he knew that he did. He was in love with Castiel Novak. Without another word, he shut the door behind him and leaned up against it to catch the breath that was running away from him.

* * *

 

Benny was waiting behind the garage when Dean showed up looking like he'd seen a ghost. "y'alright there, chief? Lookin' a little peaked." Dean gave him a half hearted nod in greeting.

"Yeah...yeah I'm good.  Just running on a few hours of sleep and it's catching up with me, I guess." Dean took Benny's offered hand and gave it a strong shake. 

"So I hear Ellen offered you the job. Glad to have you aboard!" Benny smiled warmly as he spoke, leading Dean up the backstairs into the second floor apartment. 

"I guess that means she didn't tell you I turned her down?" Dean cringed just thinking about the fact that he still had to call her.  Benny stopped at the top of the stairs to look back at Dean. The look of shock on his face was comical and completely fake. "She  _ did _ tell you." 

"She did. She may or may not have wanted me to talk to you about it." He grinned as Dean shook his head. "Come on up, I'll show you around." Benny missed the relief on Dean's face.  Just knowing Ellen still wanted him took a huge load off his shoulders. 

Benny showed him around the simple apartment.  No fancy furnishings or even an air conditioner but Benny's deep south roots thought New England summers were a piece of cake. Dean didn't care. It was clean and he had his own room.  The only thing missing...was Cas.

The pair sat down in the living room in a couple of chairs that had obviously been "borrowed" from the office downstairs. Benny cracked the cap of his bottle as Dean took a long draw of his beer.  The silence between them was comfortable, like they were old friends. 

"Tell me about yourself, Benny. If I'm gonna live here with a ragin' cajun' I'd like to know what I'm getting into." Benny's warm laugh filled the room and Dean was glad to get the attention off of himself for a while.

"Well, let's see. I'm a middle aged man working for next to nothing in a garage a long way from home. What'chu think the story is?" Dean had to laugh. He might as well be describing himself.

"That could be a million things, narrow it down for me." Benny's eyes took on a faraway look as he took another drink.

"I was running a bar down in Baton Rouge with my wife for most of my adult life. No kids, yanno, just enjoying being young and stupid.  The night I lost her I was out runnin' an errand with one of the waitresses while she tended bar. Nothing was going on but the young'un had a bit of a crush I didn't know about. Crazy girl paid some kid to light the bar up." Benny took a ragged breath before continuing. "The ceiling fell in on my Lacy before she could get out." Dean didn't have any words. Benny cleared his throat and swiped at his eye before draining the rest of his IPA in a couple swallows. "Look Dean, I don't know why it is that you aren't just sealing the deal with Castiel but you can stay here if you need to. It's not like I don't have room and I kinda like you." 

Dean shook his head. "It's too soon Benny, I can't push Cas into that..." Benny cut him off.

"It's never too soon, Dean. I see Lacy's face in my mind every night when I try to sleep. I'd give anything to have even one moment back with her and I rue the memory of any wasted time. I saw the way you looked at him when he came to the garage to get you. I know what that look means even if you don’t yet." Benny nodded as if to punctuate the thought.

"I can't..." Dean stumbled over his explanations, starting and stopping but nothing cohesive would form. "Ah, Benny, I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing." He scrubbed at his face in frustration.

"I know.  That much is obvious.  Has Castiel asked you to stay?"

"Yes but I don't want him to pity me. I want him to want me to stay because he  _ wants _ me there." Dean lay his head back on the back of the chair and examined the ceiling as his cheeks burned.

"What makes you think he doesn't?"

Dean thought for a minute. He couldn't think of anything Cas had said, it all came down to him. "Why would he? I have nothing to offer. No job, shady history, a whole host of issues. I can't figure out what the hell he's even doing with me except that I'm damn good in the sack." Dean's smirk made Benny's eyes roll.

"Well, the job part is as good as settled and it seems like you've got a couple places you could live. Sounds like the issue here is you." Benny's blue eyes dared him to challenge. Dean wasn't stupid even if he was being dense.

"I'm a mess Benny. You don't know all of it."

"Don't I? Ex-gigolo woos clergyman. Clergyman loses his job. Ex-gigolo feels guilty for something that isn't his fault and won't let himself be happy." Benny shrugged off the stricken look on Dean's face.

"How did you..."

"Ellen has a big mouth."

"How did she..."

"Charlie also has a big mouth." Benny winced an apology as Dean doubled over, burying his face in his hands, a pained groan on his lips. "Come on Dean, it is what it is.  Cas knows all of that about you and he doesn't care. Seems to me you should let it go. Don't let love get away because it scares you, you don't know how much time you have."

Dean took a deep breath and sat up. He suddenly had a powerful need to see Cas but he needed to stop downstairs and see Ellen first.

* * *

 

Dean stood in the doorway of the garage while Ellen finished with a customer on the phone. When she hung up she cocked an eyebrow in his direction.  She wasn’t going to make this easy.

“Hey Ellen.” Dean stepped inside with his hands in his pockets and a sheepish look on his face. He was laying it on thick hoping she’d let her guard down a little.

“Dean.” Her squared shoulders told him he wasn’t in luck.

“I need to apologize. When you called I had just lost what I thought was the only apartment I could get and thought I wouldn’t need a job and well…”

“Now you need a job.” She still wouldn’t look at him.  Maybe Benny was wrong about her wanting to give him a chance.

“Please, Ellen. I was an ass but believe me it had nothing to do with you.” Ellen finally looked up at him, her red lips in a smirk.

“Be here Sunday at 9am. I’ll have shirts here for you but you need to provide your own pants and shoes.  $19/hr to start, plus overtime if we need it. Deal?”

“Deal.  Thank you Ellen.” Dean shot her a wide grin as relief rolled over his body.

“Yeah, yeah, get on out of here. Cas is probably waiting for your ass.” Dean couldn’t help but laugh as she waved at him to go. 

He took off for home, almost running with the need to tell Cas that he was staying in town.  He couldn’t wait to see his face.

Dean was no further than the edge of the park when his phone began vibrating. He looked at the screen and stared for a second before answering.  "Sammy? Everything ok?"

"Hey, yeah, I was just checking on you. I called that number that you gave me when you first moved but Bobby gave me this one and said you were in Maryland? Did you seriously move and NOT tell me?" Dean took a detour and parked himself on a bench. 

"Yeah, hey, I was going to call you when I got settled. I...um...I met someone." Dean braced himself for the conversation he'd have to have. There was a lot Sam didn't know.

"That's awesome Dean, who is he?" Dean froze...did he just say "he"? "Dean? You there?"

"Yeah, yeah, Sammy I'm here." Dean's mouth moved but no more words came out, despite his best efforts.

"Dean, I know. I’ve always known."

"How? How could you have known?" Dean was confused.  He'd been very careful to hide his lifestyle from Sam even when it fed them.

"Come on Dean, you only check out dudes. A gorgeous girl walks by and you don't so much as flinch."

"I flinch a little..."

"Dean..."

"Ok, maybe not but why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know. I guess I felt like you'd tell me when someone special came along but here you are all moved and not a peep." Dean felt a pang of guilt.

"I wasn't hiding it from you Sammy, just trying to get a bunch of stuff sorted out first." He scrubbed nervously at the back of his neck as he spoke. Maybe it was more obvious than he thought.

"Yeah, yeah, get to the good stuff. What's he like and when do I get to meet him?" Dean laughed and told Sam all about the man that had stolen his heart and changed him for the better. Relief flooded in like a river as Sammy talked about school and some girl he was interested in. Things were clicking into place and it felt like it wasn't real. "Dean? You still there?"

"Yeah, Sammy, I'm here. Sorry, my head was just somewhere else.  What were you asking me?" Dean stood and stretched a bit as he spoke.

"Can you bring him up for dinner? I'd like to meet him." A smile spread across Dean's face. Finally he had something to share with Cas.

"Tomorrow. Will that work for you, college boy?" Sam laughed a warm laugh that Dean missed terribly. 

"Yeah Dean.  Come on up here with your boyfriend. What's his name again?"

"Cas. His name is Cas."

* * *

 

Dean practically floated home. He couldn't wait to get to Cas.  Between Benny’s story and Sam wanting to meet him, he thought maybe the time was right to tell Cas how he felt. His heart pounded as he pushed the door open but just as he was about to call out for Cas, he heard him talking in his room.  Shutting the door quietly he walked toward the hall but stopped when he picked up on the conversation.

“I know Charlie but he doesn’t have a job yet and apparently he told Ellen no.”

Dean’s stomach twisted. He knew he didn’t really want to hear this conversation but he couldn’t move.

“No idea why but I can’t figure him out.  Maybe he doesn’t really want to stay? I don’t know. If he does want to stay, how’s he even going to pay Benny if there’s no work here?”

Dean’s heart stopped.  Of course he wanted to stay but this was all happening backwards.

“I don’t know, I called Ellen and she apparently talked to Benny about talking to him.”

Cas called Ellen?! Was this whole thing orchestrated by Cas? He couldn’t even get a job and a place to live on his own. Dean had heard enough.  He made his way to the kitchen to grab a beer and took a seat on the couch to wait for Cas to finish up. At least he was far enough away that he couldn’t make out what he was saying.  Cas emerged from his room when he heard the TV. Dropping his phone on the coffee table, Cas curled up next to Dean and nuzzled into his shoulder. Dean didn’t move, he felt insecure and small.  

“Everything go ok with Benny? Cas’ blue eyes were wide with hope as Dean took a long draw from his beer.

“Yep, I’m all set to move out tomorrow.” Dean knew it was frigid to say it that way but he felt manipulated. Cas jerked away as if struck.

“Do you have to go so soon? I mean I have to go to work on Sunday but you’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”

“Nah, I’m ok.  Better just get it over with, don’t you think?” Dean got up and strode to the kitchen but Cas was hot on his heels.

“Are you sure you’re ok Dean?” Cas’ forehead creased a bit with worry.  Obviously something was off.

“Absolutely.  Everything is falling into place. Speaking of which, do we have dinner plans tonight?  I’d like to take you up to Towson for dinner to meet Sammy.”

Castiel stared for a second. Dean rarely talked about Sam. This felt like a big moment and he’d not been expecting it at all but to have it dropped so unceremoniously felt odd.  “I’d love to meet your brother, Dean. Even if we did have plans I would have cancelled them. How did this happen?”

Dean looked everywhere but at Cas. He was trying hard to ignore the conversation he’d overheard but that voice of self-doubt in his head was working overtime. “Oh, it wasn’t anything big, Sam called while I was on my way back from Benny’s and I felt like we might as well. It’s not far, maybe an hour? We’ll just grab a burger and head back.”

“Dean...something’s wrong. I can feel it.  What happened while you were gone?” 

Dean shook off the voice for a moment, he needed to get his emotions under control. Placing his palms on either side of Cas face, his thumbs stroked against his cheeks. “Cas, I’m fine. I’m going to call Ellen and if Benny is telling the truth, I’ll have a job then everything will be settled. It’s going to be perfect.” Dean looked so sure that Cas couldn’t help but force a smile.

“Ok, Dean. If this is what you want, I’m glad to support you.” 

“I know Cas. You’re so good to me.  I don’t…” Dean paused a moment to push away the doubt, he couldn't meet Cas' eyes without giving everything away. “I don’t deserve you Cas.”

“Shush that. Together we’re perfect.” Cas blue eyes searched Dean’s troubled green eyes before pressing his lips to Dean’s. Cas needed the smell of Dean’s breath, the musk of his skin, the heat of his body to feel secure and the suddenness of having an actual end date on their living together made him anxious to have Dean close.

Dean pulled at Cas’ lip with his own when he broke away. “Cas…”

“I just need you close Dean. Hold me for a while.” That was all the invitation Dean needed. Enveloping Cas in his arms, he pulled him into an embrace so tight that it was almost uncomfortable.  Dean said with his body what he couldn’t say out loud. He didn’t want to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this chapter but the FINAL CHAPTER will be out this Friday April 26th! I'm so excited for the resolution of this story and I hope you are too. Stay tuned!


	14. Chapter 14

“Are you nervous?” Cas eyed Dean as he white knuckled the steering wheel.  There were only a few minutes left of an almost hour long drive and he’d barely spoken a word the entire trip.

“Yeah...I guess I am. I haven’t seen or talked to Sam since I dropped him off at school.  Then he called and wanted to meet you, it all happened so fast I haven’t had time to think about it.” He chewed his lip and watched the road like he was expecting something to jump out at him.  Cas relaxed a bit into the seat and just took in the sight of his lover. His stressed features and tense muscled arms made him look a little ominous but the fact that he was nervous about seeing his brother softened the whole scene for Cas. Dean was taking him to see the one person who meant something to him and his gratitude threatened to overflow.

Dean took a peak at Cas out of the corner of his eye and huffed at his dopey smile. “What are you grinning at?”

“You being nervous to take your boyfriend to meet your brother.” Cas tinged his tone with snark to try to lighten the mood.

“Who says you’re my boyfriend.  Maybe I told him you were the local homeless dude looking for a free meal.”  Dean grinned at his joke.

Cas pouted and stuck a finger through the hole in his sweater.“Hey, I told you I didn’t know that was there!”

“Sure, sure, wearing holey clothes to meet my only relative. I see how this is, Cas.” Dean rubbed at his jaw to try to keep from laughing but Cas couldn’t help but chuckle and that got Dean started.  A good laugh was all they needed to shake loose the cloud that had been hanging over them since Dean overheard Cas on the phone that afternoon.

When they pulled up in front of the bar, Sam was waiting outside. Dean took a deep breath and looked at Cas, heart banging in his chest. “Cas, I came out to him today when we were on the phone. He says he always knew but I’ve never brought a man around him. I don’t know how he’ll act. I should have told you before we left but…”

Cas cut him off with a chaste kiss. “It’s going to be fine. You’ll see.” and with that Cas was out of the car and headed toward the door. Dean jumped out and ran after him, straight into Sam’s arms.

“DEAN!” Sam’s long arms wrapped around his brother and gave his back a couple hard slaps. “Damn, Dean, I’ve missed you.” Dean nodded and swallowed hard to keep from cracking. He’d missed Sam more than he wanted to admit. “And this must be Cas. I’m Sam, nice to meet you.” Sam’s large hand enveloped Castiel’s but only long enough to pull him in to a bear hug.  Sam was quite a bit taller than both he and Dean and built like a brick house. 

Dean huffed a feigned annoyance. “Jesus, Sam, get your own.” 

Sam jumped back as if stricken as Cas laughed, “Come on Dean, you know I only have eyes for sarcastic mechanics.” 

“Oh he’s funny too.  Perfect!” Sam pulled the door open and guestured them both inside. The bar was dark but clean. Clearly smoking wasn’t allowed but pool was. Four felt green tables formed a row down the middle of the room, mostly occupied by beer drinking college students. Sam grabbed them a table off to the side where it was quieter so they could talk.  They’d only been sitting there a minute when the waitress came to take their order. 

“Hey Sam. Who’re your friends?”  She swept her blonde hair back behind her shoulder a smiled sweetly at Sam. Dean raised an eyebrow at Cas before composing himself as Sam introduced them.

“Dean, Cas, this is Jess. Jess this is my brother Dean and his boyfriend Cas.” Sam eyed Dean nervously hoping he wasn’t going to make a scene like he used to. Dean just smiled and eyed Sam before saying hello.  Cas ordered for he and Dean and let Sam order for himself. As soon as Jess walked away Dean kicked Sam under the table. “OW! Dammit Dean, I knew you were just waiting for her to leave!” He laughed as he rubbed his shin while Cas looked nothing but confused.

“Now I know why you were so hell bent on this place!” Dean turned to Cas, “Sammy’s got a crush on the waitress.” 

Cas nodded like he’d just caught on. “Yeah, I was thinking she had a thing for Sam too.  Have you asked her out yet?” Cas’ blue eyes lit on Sam who looked like a deer in headlights.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, it’s not like that.  I like her but she’s way out of my league.  Jess is smart and funny and gorgeous and…” Dean and Cas stared at Sam like he was an idiot. 

Sam stared back a look of utter confusion on his face. “What?”

“Sam, she’s into you. Quit being stupid and ask her out.” Dean shook his head as if annoyed but quickly smiled at his little brother. “It’s good to see you Sammy.  I don’t remember you ever looking so happy, it’s awesome.” Cas watched Dean while he visited with Sam. Seeing him with Sam gave him a look at a side of Dean he’d never seen. They may be brothers but there was something parental and proud in the way Dean looked at his brother. 

Cas contributed to the conversation but mostly he just watched as the brother’s laughed and cut loose. After they’d eaten, and Sam and Dean had a few too many, Dean decided Cas needed to learn to play pool. Sam was in full agreement and went to grab pool cues and a rack while Dean gave Cas a pep talk. 

“It’s easy, just pick up that stick and I’ll tell you what to do.” Dean grinned at Cas knowing full well what that sounded like.  

“I bet you say that to all the boys.” The words were out of Castiel’s mouth before he could stop them. The shock in his eyes told Dean he hadn’t meant it the way it sounded so Dean decided he’d have a little fun with his angel.

Wrapping his free arm around Cas’ shoulders he pulled him in close letting his tongue drag against the very edge of his lobe before whispering, “There’s only one boy I want handling this stick and any time you’re ready angel, it’s yours.” Castiel trembled for just a second before Sam started shouting and waving them over. Dean let Cas go with a grin before walking over to the pool table.  Cas followed behind cursing the jeans that clung to Dean’s ass perfectly.

“Alright Cas, I’ll break and Dean will show you how to shoot. Ready?” Sam looked so oblivious. Like a happy puppy that just wanted to play while Dean looked at him like a hungry wolf stalking his prey.  This was going to be a long game.

* * *

Cas and Dean dropped off a very drunk Sam at the dorm with promises to call soon and come for another visit as long as Sam promised to finally ask Jess out. When they were finally alone in the car, Dean was determined to make the trip difficult for Cas. Seat belts be damned, he was right at Cas shoulder whispering things into his ear as his hand snaked up his driving leg, ever so close to the erection Cas had been trying to keep under wraps ever since Dean leaned over him during the pool game and ground his hard length against his ass.

“Come on Dean, I’ve got to drive…” He said it but he didn’t mean it. The fabled ‘road head’ was sounding damn good right now.  Dean licked at his ear as his open palm found Cas’ cock pressed hard against his zipper. “ _ Fuck… _ ”

“Mmmm naughty, naughty Cas.  You shouldn’t say such things.” The words were a low rumble in his ear but the way Dean’s fingers fluttered against his denim clad cock was anything but a rumble.

“Unggghh Dean, dammit...you’ve got to stop.” Cas heart was pounding in his chest. Everything in him was saying no but his cock had other ideas.

“Cas, I wanna suck your cock.” Dean was only slightly slurring and Cas’ cock was jumping in response. Dean had him unbuttoned and unzipped before he could object. The briefs he was wearing were damp from the last two hours of teasing. “Say yes, Cas. I won’t unless you say yes…” Dean’s breath was hot against the soft cotton.  Cas couldn’t say no if he’d wanted to. All he wanted was Dean’s mouth around his cock.

“Fuck.  Yes, ok...yes…” His grip tightened on the wheel as Dean pulled his cock through his briefs and sucked it down in one smooth motion. “God Dean, I can’t….I’m pulling over.” Cas pulled over to an overlook that was dark and secluded. He said a quick prayer that they’d go unnoticed then let the seat back and grabbed a handful of the back of Dean’s shirt.

Dean hummed his approval and proceeded to work over Cas’ cock like he wanted nothing more in life than to please him. Cas quickly gave up trying to be quiet, Dean was just too damn good. His free hand threaded into Dean’s hair to pull him off. “Let’s get in the back.” 

“No Cas, this is about you. Now relax and let me taste you.”  Dean’s hand slid under Cas’ ass lifting him like a plate as he took all of his cock into his mouth with a groan. Cas’ head lulled back as he gave himself over to Dean’s attention. He was good. He was damn good. The alcohol relaxed him to the point that he let all his self consciousness go and gave Cas everything he had. After just a couple minutes the tip of Cas’ cock pressed into his throat, Cas exploded with a shout. Dean finished his ministrations and cleaned Cas up with an eager tongue before putting his spent cock away. 

Cas pulled Dean’s face to his and kissed him softly. The energy for more was just gone. “How the hell am I supposed to drive us home now?” He laughed at his almost joke while Dean grinned at him like the cat that got the cream. “You’re amazing baby. That was incredibly hot.”

Dean sat back against his seat and put on his seatbelt as Cas watched. “I have skills Cas. Eventually I’ll show you everything I’ve got in my arsenal.” Dean seemed pleased with himself but Cas felt the slightest twinge of something not being right.

“You do know that you could be the worst thing ever in bed and I’d still want you, right?” Cas was intent but Dean didn’t even turn his head.

“Without the sex Cas, what the hell would I have to give you?” Cas jaw dropped but Dean still looked straight ahead.

“Your heart, Dean. That thing you haven’t given me yet.” Cas turned up the radio. He let the sounds of bass and electric guitar wash over him while they rode. He felt dirty, like he’d been given the blow job of his life and it had been tainted. Like he’d been paid a debt rather than sharing an experience with someone he…

Cas pulled onto the highway as he fought the tears that welled in his eyes. He loved Dean. That’s why this hurt so much, he was in love with Dean Winchester.  “Dean…”

When Cas turned to look, Dean was out cold leaning up against the door, chin to chest. There would be no telling him now. Cas spent the rest of the ride worrying over whether it was even the right time to tell him. If he told him now, he might think he was trying to manipulate him into staying at the apartment with him. If he didn’t, he might think he didn’t care that he was leaving. There really wasn’t a way to win. Leaning his head back against the headrest, Cas continued to let the music soothe him until they’d arrived back at the apartment.

* * *

Cas had put Dean to bed in his own room when they arrived home, not that Dean would really remember. He just couldn’t bring himself to put him in his own bed. Dean had slid under the covers with a groan and was snoring in seconds. 

It had taken a few hours for Cas to reach the conclusion that there wasn’t anything nefarious about the way Dean had brushed off their physical activities the night before as being his contribution to their relationship. Dean didn’t see his value and Cas hadn’t realized how deeply that ran. Now he lay awake at 4am wondering whether Dean would ever love himself as much as he loved him. Was it possible that he was settling for Cas because he didn’t think he deserved better? Exhausted and hurting, Cas finally succumbed to sleep with pillows around him trying to fill the empty space Dean had occupied the night before.

* * *

Dean woke at 10am with a pounding headache. Disoriented and nauseous, he made his way to the kitchen for some water and ibuprofen. It took him a moment but the sound of his shoes hitting the linoleum shocked him awake. He hadn’t so much as taken his shoes off last night? And for that matter, why did he sleep in the guest room?  He groaned to himself. No doubt he’d fucked up royally and Cas had been so pissed he put him fully dressed in his own bed. Returning to his room, he stripped down and went to the bathroom to shower. Hopefully the hot water would clear his head enough to remember.

* * *

Castiel woke to the sound of the shower faucet coming alive. Dean was up but he hadn’t come in to say good morning. Cas rolled onto his back and rubbed over his face. Maybe Dean was upset that he hadn’t been in Cas’ bed. Maybe he felt like he’d been shunned. Maybe he didn’t care at all. 

Cas stopped himself from going any further down that road.  He and Dean needed to talk but he needed to center himself. Climbing out of bed, he pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt.  Making his way to the living room he assumed the lotus position on the floor as he normally did in the morning. He quieted his mind as best he could but he could hear Dean moving around him. He could smell the brewing coffee in the kitchen and when the man he loved took a seat on the couch to observe him as he usually did he finally felt every worry fall away. All he could hear was quiet breathing and the near silent swallows of Dean’s coffee. This is what contentment felt like. He wanted nothing more than to have this every morning.

* * *

Dean sipped his coffee and watched as the furrows in Cas brow smoothed and his breathing slowed. Whatever he’d been worrying over had obviously been pushed away. In this moment of quiet, Dean realized this morning routine they’d settled into wasn’t going to be routine any longer. He was sure he’d sleep over from time to time but he was only hours from moving into his own place and sipping his coffee with a giant cajun.  He shook his head. No offence to Benny but he much preferred Cas. Dean lifted his mug to his lips one more time before draining it. When he set it down he noticed the soft curl of Castiel’s hair behind his ear and had a strong desire to gently push it back into alignment with the rest of his hair. He moved behind Cas, and wrapped his legs around either of his thighs before settling behind him. There was nothing sexual about the way their bodies touched, back to chest, it was tender and real. Dean’s rough fingertip feathered the errant curl into Cas’ dark hair before Cas leaned back against Dean’s broad chest. Dean nosed into his hair and drew in a deep breath.  

The lump that formed in the back of Dean’s throat was quickly pushed away. Being close to Cas was the only thing that felt right in his life. Cas was a lifeline to sanity and the only happiness he needed. He was the calm in the storm of Dean’s life and being near him stopped all the chaos in his head. When those blue eyes locked on his, everything was right. Cas was the only thing he’d ever wanted and it scared him.

Dean kissed down the side of Cas’ neck to nuzzle into the crook between his neck and collarbone. Cas sighed his approval and angled his head to give Dean more access but this wasn’t about foreplay, this was about tenderness. Dean drug his nose back up Cas’ neck to his ear, inhaling the spicy scent of Cas’ soap as he went.

Cas trembled with the emotion of the moment. His heart ached at the thought of not spending every morning wrapped up in Dean. The lump in his throat swelled and would not be ignored. Reaching back behind him, he pulled Dean’s arms around him as the tears began to fall. They went unnoticed until Dean caught one with his lips on Cas’ rough cheek.

“Oh Cas, no… What did I do?” Dean pulled Cas in tight to his chest, afraid of the damage he must have done the night before that he couldn’t remember.

“Don’t go. Please don’t go.” Cas wept in Dean’s arms as Dean whispered tender words to him about how he’d be close and they would see each other all the time.

“I’m just going to be a few blocks away and this will be better for us. If we’re going to have something real, we have to do this right, don’t we? Dean’s face scrunched up as he fought his own emotions. He was navigating uncharted waters. Hell, he didn’t even know if he loved Cas, maybe what he was feeling was just an attachment to someone he was attracted to. How could he possibly love Cas when he didn’t even know what love was.  He knew what he felt for him was different than anything he’d ever felt for anyone else but he didn’t want to declare something he didn’t know was real. Besides that, what if he did and Cas didn’t feel the same way. What would happen then?

Cas turned around to wrap his legs around Dean’s waist. A panicked need for closeness overwhelmed him as he pulled Dean into a kiss that said all the things he couldn’t bring himself to say.

Dean lost himself in the feeling of Cas’ body clinging to his. He felt it too, this need to be here with him, but his pride wouldn’t let him stay. Pulling Cas’ head back by his hair, he dropped wet kisses down the column of his neck as Cas rolled his hips barely brushing his own need against his lover’s.

“Dean, I need you. I need all of you.” When Cas’ eyes opened, the look he gave Dean left no doubt of what he wanted. Dean could feel his erection straining against its confines but this would be slow and measured. A worship the likes of which Cas had never seen. Dean licked into his mouth, savoring every bit of him. Something as simple as a kiss was a delicacy in this moment and Cas couldn’t breathe from the intensity of it.

Pulling away Dean lifted Cas just enough that he could get his feet under him but as soon as he was on his own feet, he lifted his angel into his arms, taking him down the hall to the bed they’d made love in just the morning before.  Pillows and sheets were strewn everywhere, a mess so unlike Cas. Laying him gently on the bed, Dean stripped him of his pants and placed a pillow under his head, whispering to him softly to see if he was comfortable. Castiel could only nod as Dean removed his own clothes and climbed onto the bed to hover over Cas’ prone body. 

Everything about his movements was reverent as if he needed Cas to understand how very special he was to him. Their sexual encounters up to this point had been hungry and physical, this was spiritual.

Dean lowered himself onto Cas, letting their hips and everything in between brush against each other. Cas’ fingers dug into Dean’s back as Dean’s lips kissed a path down his neck and over his collarbone to his chest. A gasp escaped Castiel’s lips as Dean let the very tip of his tongue brush over the already peaked tip of Cas’ nipple. Cas arched into the touch all at once, hungry for more than he was getting, but so grateful for the tenderness.

Dean’s rough hand slid down Cas’ side until it came to rest behind his knee, pulling gently as Cas lifted his leg to hook it around Dean’s waist. The friction between them intensified as Dean’s chest rolled up so he could claim Cas’ lips again with his own. Their hips bucked gently against the others as they sought that perfect rhythm that would satisfy. When he could feel the slick building between them, he reached for the lubricant on the bedside table and sat up, kneeling between Cas’ knees.  Lifting his leg by the ankle, he pressed kisses behind Cas’ knee before resting his ankle on his freckled shoulder. 

Cas closed his eyes and focused on the sensation of Dean’s slick fingers opening him up, his own wrapped around his length, stroking lazily as Dean’s free hand rubbed ever so gently at the inside of his open hip.  It was an incredible feeling the way his body accepted first the intrusion of one finger, then then two, and finally three. Dean worked slowly and praised him along the way, telling him how beautiful he was with a tenderness that made his heart swell.

“Are you ready, my angel?” Cas’ eyes opened to find Dean’s face close to his own. His soft lips sucked wet kisses along his jaw as he waited for an answer.

“Oh Dean, I’m so ready. I need you.” Cas trembled as Dean reared back to line the slick tip of his length up with Cas’ waiting body.  He moved slowly and carefully and when he finally popped through the tight ring of muscle, he was overcome with emotion. Dean bit into his lip to stifle a cry and to keep words he wasn’t ready to say from tumbling forth. 

Cas’ eyes were blown wide with shock at the feeling of such fullness and as Dean began to move he found the constant smooth strokes ratcheting him forward toward a release he never thought he’d have. Dean’s face burrowed into Cas’ neck as his hips slowly picked up speed, chasing a release they both needed. Cas’ fingernails drug trails across Dean’s glistening back as he cried out his release from both the friction between their bodies and the feeling of Dean filling him so completely.

When Dean had found his own, he took each of Cas’ lips between his own one at a time, wiping the damp from Cas’ cheeks with his thumb. Slowly he drew himself out of Cas and rolled to his side, taking Cas with him. “Are you ok, Cas? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” The concern on Dean’s face was comical to Cas given the intensity of the orgasm he’d just had.

“Dean, I’m beyond ok. I….” He couldn’t speak the words. They stuck in the back of his throat and refused to come forward. Instead he buried his face against Dean’s chest and wept until he fell asleep. Once he was sure he was ok, Dean let himself relax into sleep as well.

* * *

They’d awoken from their nap to the sound of Benny calling to see when Dean would be arriving. A call neither of them wanted, not that poor Benny had a clue. Dean had pulled himself away from Cas, just long enough to shower and pack. Now he sat on the end of the bed trying to coax Cas into eating.

“Come on Cas, eat something.  Promise me you will.” Dean’s tone took on a parental feel and it made Cas contentious. 

“It’s my house, Dean, I can do what I want and if that means I don't eat, then I don’t eat.” The hostility in his tone wasn’t lost on Dean but he refused to fight with him.

“Alright angel, I won’t make you but I’d feel better if you would.  I’m getting ready to head out, do you want me to call you when I get there?” Dean’s heart was heavy as it was but when Cas sat up to wrap his arms around him, it broke. “Cas, don’t do this.”

“Please don’t go. I won’t ask you again but I want you to stay.” Cas’ eyes shone with unshed tears as Dean kissed him one more time. 

“I’ll come back after work tomorrow and take you out to dinner.  We’ll go back and have brains again but this time without Mick crashing the party, ok? It’ll be fun.” Cas’ swallowed hard and put a smile on his face. If this was what Dean needed, he’d wait for him but he’d be damned if he understood it.

“Alright Dean. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you over there?” Cas eyed the bag in the doorway of his room.  It wasn’t very big but that would be a long walk with a duffel.

“Nah, I’ll be fine.” Dean stood and made his way to the door. He slung his bag over his shoulder and winked at Cas. “I’ll call you when I get there.”

Cas nodded and smiled until he heard Dean close the front door. The second it settled in the jamb he let the sobs roll through his body. He knew he’d still see Dean often, this just felt like a step backward when everything in his heart was taking a step forward. A big step forward.

* * *

Dean was a sweaty mess when he arrived at Benny’s door. Benny’s smile was warm as he welcomed Dean inside but he could sense that something was off.  “Cas didn’t drop you off? Are you two scrappin?”

“Oh, no, I just didn’t want him to feel obligated. It’s my responsibility to take care of myself, you know? He’s my boyfriend, not my father.” Dean laughed but it fell flat. Benny’s raised eyebrow told him he’d failed to convince him.

“Alright Chief, but I’m pretty sure dropping your loved ones off is also something a boyfriend does.  Wouldn’t you do it for him? Seems like if Cas was trying to get his life together you’d damn near do whatever he might need, wouldn’t you?” Dean froze as something inside him clicked. He would. He’d give Cas anything he needed no matter the cost because that’s what you did for people you loved. Cas wanted him to stay not out of obligation but out of love. Cas loved him too. 

He needed to go.

“Ah….Benny, I don’t think I need a place to stay after all.  I’m gonna go.” Dean turned and ran down the stairs while Benny crossed his thick arms and chuckled to himself.

“Be good to him, Dean!” 

* * *

Cas moved around the apartment as if in a haze. Everything reminded him of Dean and it felt like he could smell Dean everywhere. One of the hairs from Dean’s head lay in the sink in the bathroom and he couldn’t even bring himself to rinse it down the drain. It was dramatic and silly and he was annoying himself.

“SNAP OUT OF IT CASTIEL!” He bellowed to himself as he entered the empty living room just as a knock sounded on the door. “Ugh, not now Charlie…”  He practically stomped across the room ready to give his friend a piece of his mind for intruding but the moment his eyes caught the familiar green on the other side of the door his mouth hung open in surprise. “Dean?”

Dean backed Castiel into the room and shut the door before dropping his bag without a word. His hands shook as he placed them on either side of Cas’ confused face and looked him in the eye. “I love you Cas. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you and it scares the shit out of me but I can’t be anywhere else, it just hurts too fucking much.” The tears welled in his eyes as Cas swallowed and tried to keep his own tears from falling.

“Oh Dean, I love you too you stubborn ass.”  

~The End~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed reading this fic as much as I loved writing it. I'm glad these two are finally happy but I'm sad their story is over for us. Please consider subscribing so you don't miss my next one or maybe checking out some of the other fics I've written about these two. 
> 
> Thank you for your support!


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